I close my eyes and force my feet to move my body closer, and I swear I can feel the nervous patter inside his chest as well. Without looking at him, knowing I’ll never be able to say what I want to say if I do, I take the dare.

“I want you to kiss me,” I say, biting my lower lip, but unable to quell the numbing tingle that’s taken over my lips and tongue. I hear his breath hitch, but I keep my eyes closed, only reaching my hands up to grip the soft fabric of his shirt for strength. I know it’s my turn, and I know I’ve gone down a road that can’t be retraced—there are no U-turns here.

Deep breath.

“For once in my life, I want to live,” I say, hoping Cody understands what I mean.

The cold air whipping through the towering stalks around us sends goose bumps all over my body, and I know I’m starting to shake visibly—both from the frosty chill in the air and the complete vulnerability I’m displaying. I lift my eyes open hesitantly, terrified that I won’t find Cody’s eyes looking back at me. But they are. They’re still and crystal—and deliberating. He isn’t blinking. He isn’t breathing. He’s only looking at me, trying to decide if this game he started has gone on long enough, and I’m so afraid that he thinks it has.

Cody slides his hands up from my elbows to my hands that are now clutching desperately at his shirt. His eyes never leave mine, and he never flinches. He pulls my fingers loose from his thermal, and presses my hands flat together within his, pulling them to his mouth. My insides tremble watching him as he touches his lips slowly and softly to my freezing hands, pulling me even closer while he does.

He holds them flat against his chest with one hand, while he slides his other hand along the side of my neck, his thumb stroking the line of my chin first, and then my bottom lip. His eyes leave mine for the first time when he does this, his attention lost to my mouth, and when his tongue slips slightly from his parted lips and grazes his teeth, I shiver.

Cody is taking his time; it’s sweet and wonderful, and achingly torturous—I never want this to end. He pushes his fingers deeper into my hair while he erases the few inches left between us. He drops his other hand from mine, which are now locked onto his chest, and slowly sweeps the few strands of hair blowing across my face to the side and behind my other ear.

He pulls my face close to his, and I watch as his eyes lock onto mine—neither of us willing to close them, wanting to witness every moment of this. His gaze flicks to my lips again, and I hold my breath in anticipation. The first touch is gentle, a taste of what’s to come. The next time Cody pulls my top lip in between both of his, teasing me with his teeth and a soft stroke of his tongue, which fills my body with a rush of need and want so strong that I open wide in response.

My hands slide from his chest to his back, holding him closer, and not wanting to let go. With my permission, Cody slides his tongue deeper into my mouth with a sensual push and pull, his lips strong and hungry against mine. He keeps one hand in my hair, holding my head tightly to his, while his other hand slides down the side of my body, his thumb barely grazing my breast along the way. His hand comes to rest on the lower part of my back, and I bow to the pressure of his strength as he moves me even closer into his body.

I feel him, every bit of him, hard and hot and strong against me, and I’ve never felt more alive. I know in that second that if we weren’t in the middle of a field surrounded by families, and strangers, and—oh god—Cody’s best friends…I wouldn’t be able to stop. I would give in—give myself over to him.

We both pull back at the same time when we hear the familiar giggles closing in on us, but our hands are still linked when Gabe and Jessie round the corner and scream out of surprise from running into us. I feel the sweat cover my body instantly—unsure if it’s from the panic at being caught or the desire coursing through me.

I notice Jessie’s reaction, and I’m not sure if it’s a smirk or a warning, but at this very moment I don’t care—I don’t care that what I did was possibly the most wrong decision I’ve ever made, or that I might be throwing away everything safe based on a kiss. All I care about is that Cody’s fingers are still looped through mine, and our pulses are in sync.

“Look!” Gabe says, holding up a baggie with a complete set of puzzle pieces, completely oblivious to our out-of-breath panting, “Free pie!”

Chapter 9: Sober

The doorbell has rung six times—no one is getting up to get it. Jim stopped in overnight before flying out early this morning for Atlanta. I heard him and Shelly arguing when I came home from my night out with Cody, and I was pretty sure Shelly cracked open a fresh bottle of wine when they were done.