My body tightened at the sound of the door opening. I dreaded to think who it was. It could have been anyone wanting to teach me some manners after my stunt. Or maybe it was Remy again ready to take care of that promise he made. I was still nude, so at least he’d spare me a screeching at that.

I heard footsteps making their way around the bed. I watched Remy stop in front of me, looking down at me with a much more subdued look than before. Still, he was emotionless. He took a seat facing me at the edge of the bed. Idiot me couldn’t help but admire him. He was a thing of beauty to me.

One that had threatened to choke, rape and kill me. Fucking lovely.

“There’s one secret I’ve kept from you,” he began after our stare off. “You’re perceptive. I always knew that, but the room’s never changed. I never did anything to it knowing you were comin’ here. In fact, I didn’t even want you to leave that bunker at all. Not for a very long time.”

He absentmindedly raked his hand over his hair and looked around the room. Remy wasn’t his usual confident self. He was uneasy and that made me tense.

“I made mistakes. With you, this was my biggest one.” He produced a black jewellery box from his other hand. He held it out and motioned for me to take it. Confused, I did, all the while eyeing him curiously. “Well, open it then.”

Tucking the sheets tightly around my torso, I sat up until my back was against the headboard. I spun the box around, unsure of whether the truth awaiting me was what I wanted after all. Ignorance is bliss, right?

But my body’s autopilot went on. I didn’t want to hear myself think about shit. I just needed to get this done. I opened it and froze. I looked up at Remy, and then back down at the box. Then I gulped away the thick shockwave in my being and pulled out the bracelet. I blinked hard as I spun the silver chain around until the heart fell into the palm of my hand. I blinked even harder when I shakily turned the heart around and met the three words that had once meant everything to me.

You’re my ultimate.

Panting heavily now, I stared accusingly at Remy. “W-Why do you have this?”

Remorse stricken, he opened his mouth slowly and quietly said, “Why do you think, Birdy?”

This was my birthday gift from Jaxon. The one I thought I’d never see again. The one I kicked myself repeatedly all these years for leaving behind. Our conversation flooded into my mind, recapping all I’d learned after I’d left him. He’d been in prison. For something he didn’t commit. And… and…

“They’d been tipped off…The officer,” I choked out, unable to slow my quickening heart. “He planted drugs and… Oh, my God.” I looked at him harshly, tears exploding right out of me like my heart. “Don’t tell me it was you! Not you!”

“I didn’t know what happened to you,” Remy retorted defensively. “You disappeared off the face of the earth! And it was right after that night you chatted me up in front of him. What the fuck was I supposed to think? I abandoned post and looked for you for weeks. I sent men all over the city. The answer at the time was he’d done something to you–”

“Why didn’t you just ask him?!”

“I had the police interrogate him; otherwise I’d have killed him, I was so fucking angry. They went through the entire apartment looking through everything. It was strange as fuck that you’d suddenly packed a bag and left without a word. It was like he’d done something to you and made it look that way. Only figured it out months later when my guys found you in the system sending out resumes to shops some of the Jackals owned. You were workin’ some piece of shit job on the wrong fuckin’ side of town.”

“So you found me and saw that I was doing well.”

“Yeah– ”

“Then why wasn’t he let out?”

Remy exhaled, rubbing his irritated face in resignation. “Two reasons. He was in deep with Finley inside those walls. Got a lot of jobs done, was already integrated in the Scorpions, and by then they were packing shit up in Winthrop and lookin’ to relocate elsewhere. If he got out, I didn’t want him at you and you anywhere near that gang. Plus he got sentenced. I can’t override a fucking ruling like that.”

“And the second reason?” My words tumbled out harshly because I already knew what the second reason was.

He exasperatedly shut his eyes for a moment. When they opened again, weariness filled them. “You’re right. I’m obsessed with you. I don’t even know why. I just… I wanted you to myself. I had a lot of shit going on, was just given the title of VP. I wanted you to have a good job, to be safe and secure so that when I was ready to come for you, we would both be in good places.

“Anyways, Scorpions set up shop here. When I saw Jaxon, I knew it was going to be a major complication if you ever came back. Tried to sort some peace out with them, accept what they’d done to our town… Then all control escaped me with what happened to your mom and all. I didn’t want you here at the risk of you seeing him. Then of course Rita fucking pushed the issue behind my back, telling the priest to contact you. The rest was out of my hands. You came back and went straight to him. I realized I had to stop waiting for the best time and just make that time happen with you. So I took you from him. Again.” Even I could hear the sound of incredulity in his voice, like he was stunned at what he’d done.

“It was wrong,” he continued. “I know that. I made a stupid decision. I was selfish and wrong. Sometimes love makes you do the craziest shit.”

“That’s not love,” I bitterly stated. That was obsession. Obsession of the most critical kind.

“The way I feel for you, it’s love. You don’t wanna call it that? Fine. But every time I look at you, I see purpose. I’m a fuckin’ weak ass man in your hands. For Manny to tell me that you were spying in the surveillance room after you’d disappeared from the party today to see who I assume was Jaxon – how the fuck am I meant to take that news, Sara? The possibility you could be usin’ me right now…” He paused and looked away from me, unable to meet my eyes. He was hurting.

I didn’t want to crumble. Not after what he just did and the news I’d just learned. So I watched the pain skirt around his face as he tried hard to swallow it back. It was tough fighting it when all I wanted to do was reach out for him. I thought it strange just then how you can watch someone you love do the most horrible things and still burn for them. Enough for me now to understand Jaxon when he told me it wasn’t up to me to have made the decision to walk away.