The phone went silent after that, and Reed and I sat there listening to one another breathe—for minutes. Actual minutes.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he finally said. I could sense the fear in his voice.

I waited a little longer before finally answering. “I guess, I’m thinking I’m really glad you didn’t sleep with someone,” I said, laughing nervously, but also masking the gut-twisting hurt I was experiencing from this new turn in things.

“Oh my god, Nolan, I’m so happy to hear you say that. I mean… I’m not happy you thought for that second that I did that. I love you so f**king much. I would never do that to you. Not in a million years,” Reed sounded so full of hope. I couldn’t dash it. Not again.

“We’ll figure it out. The draft, huh?” I said, letting the new facts of my life align with the other ones.

“Yeah, the draft,” he sounded happy for the first time since before I came face-to-face with Dylan Nichols. “And I want you to be involved. In everything.”

I just nodded to myself, resolving myself to tell him the other surprising news that was going to hammer away at his life. “Okay,” I said, gathering up the courage to start when Reed cut me off.

“Hey, my other line’s buzzing. It’s Jason. That’s really weird for him to call this late. I’ve gotta get this. We’ll talk tomorrow, though, okay? I love you. So much.”

He was gone before I was able to get out, “Me, too.”

Chapter 5

Nolan

I used to love Fridays. I spent most of my time in lab working on my projects, tutoring students and finishing up homework. The rest of the day and weekend was reserved for Reed and me—not a care in the world, like we were both locked in our own little time capsule. But I was dreading this Friday.

My appointment at the health center was just a few days away, and I had finally come to terms with the fact that Reed needed to know what was happening. My moods had been unmanageable, and I feared that holding in the secret was starting to chip away at my insides. Sleep was sporadic, and my grades were starting to suffer from my lack of concentration. Thankfully, I was able to draft a bit off Gavin in our psych class, though I was careful not to get too close with him after our last study session.

It was Reed’s bye week, so he was spending some extra time in Coolidge. He had several practices, but there were at least two almost full days where we would be able to get away. Reed wanted to camp again so he wouldn’t be too far from school or home. Buck had broken a leg while attempting to water ski in Mexico. Jason was staying at the house, running things while Buck was out of commission, but Reed’s brother wasn’t the most caring man in the world, and he made it very clear that he wouldn’t be playing nurse while his dad was laid up with his leg.

Reed called Thursday night after practice, during his drive to his dad’s, and spent most of our conversation venting.

“I just don’t get how Jason and I are related. I mean, how hard is it to drive dad to a few appointments, make him dinner? Hell, all he has to do is heat the shit up, Rose does the actual cooking,” Reed said, his stereo blasting in the background and the wind whipping in the phone from the open windows of his Jeep. “Sorry, I know I’ve been complaining for like 10 minutes, but I just don’t get my douche bag brother. Everyone loves him, and it disgusts me.”

I mostly listened. I had only met Jason once or twice in passing introductions. He’d spent most of his time in New Mexico. I was actually a little nervous about spending more time with him over the weekend, fearful that if Reed found him so deplorable, I would find him downright threatening. I got the distinct impression that when the gene pool divided between the two Johnson brothers, Jason was mostly Millie, and Reed was a lot more Buck.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been yapping this whole time. You haven’t even had a chance to tell me about your day,” Reed asked. My day was honestly uneventful, and the only thing on my mind was how I was going to open up to him about this pregnancy, my emotions still not ready to face the questions that came barreling at me once that little fact was out in the open. And this conversation certainly wasn’t going to happen over the phone.

Suck it up, Nolan. Keep pretending. “It’s okay, you’re allowed to be irritated, and I’m glad you can talk to me about your frustrations. My day was pretty boring, so you’re not missing much.”

“Noles, every day I’m not with you, I’m missing a lot,” he was sincere, and when he said things like that, it made my heart race. I believed him. I just hoped he’d still feel the same and say those same words after we talked this weekend.