Releasing a long sigh, I nodded my head. Start living. That’s what I’m gonna do. Cut all the Heighter shit and really start living.

Later that night, Giovanni “Gio” Marino was shot dead in a drive-by in Westside Heights. There were no witnesses to the murder, and the Kings immediately took over Heighter turf.

Chapter Thirty

Lexi

NFL Draft, Second Round

Radio City Music Hall, New York

Two months later…

“And for the San Francisco 49ers… Austin Carillo, from the Alabama Crimson Tide!”

Austin’s eyes slammed to mine as we all sat backstage in Radio City Hall and, holding my hand, Austin brought it to his lips. His was shaking.

“Pix… fuck,” he hushed out, and I leaned into his shoulder as his eyes closed in prayer.

“Austin! The 49ers!” Levi shouted and jumped up from his seat. Austin released my hand and stood to embrace his brother, both clinging onto each other, just savoring the magnitude of this moment.

Austin pulled back and, in a daze, walked after the official to the stage to receive his jersey.

I sat watching him on the TV screen and couldn’t keep the smile from my face.

“How you feeling, darlin’?” Ally asked in concern.

“I’m okay, a little tired, but I’m good.”

It had been two months since my relapse, and I had already gained twenty pounds. It was a slow process, but I was getting better every day… with Austin’s help. And he was better too. He’d managed to get a place for him and Levi away from Westside Heights, and they never heard from the crew again.

The sofa suddenly dipped beside me, and Levi’s smiling face looked my way. “Can you believe it, Lexi? We’re going to San Francisco!”

Tapping his excited hand on his lap, I smiled back. “You sure are, sweetie. You’ll get to start again, make something real good of yourself in California.”

Levi’s smile faded and his head tilted to the side. “You’ll be coming too, right? You’ll be there with us too?”

I lowered my eyes before casting a glance around my friends. They had all decided to come along to the draft here in NYC. Rome was awarded first-draft pick yesterday and was heading to the Seattle Seahawks. We had celebrated with them last night. But today was all about Austin.

My friends were all watching me struggle with Levi’s question in sympathy. Truth was, I wasn’t sure I was in a good enough place to go anywhere outside of Tuscaloosa right now. Hell, it had taken some real begging for Dr. Lund to allow me to come here for a few days. And besides, Austin had never mentioned me going with him. After getting a normal life for the last eight weeks, following years of upheaval, I wasn’t sure he wanted to take his anorexic girlfriend along for the ride. It was just too much pressure on him.

“Let’s just enjoy the day, sweetie. We can see how things pan out later on down the road.”

Levi’s eyes filled with worry, but it didn’t last too long as Austin reappeared at the door, clutching his new Niners jersey.

His expression was one of complete disbelief, but I knew he would do it… And I was pretty damn sure his mamma was looking down on this too, dancing once more in happiness. Smiling with pride at the man her son had become.

Rome stood and, clutching Molly to his side, said, “We going out to celebrate?”

Austin looked at me, and I knew he was checking I felt strong enough to go. I nodded my head and said, “I could manage a couple more hours.”

Austin’s responding smile nearly knocked me off my feet.

My broken boy from the trailer park was slowly fixing himself together again… taking my heart and soul along for the ride.

“You coping okay, Pix?” Austin said as we entered our hotel room later that night, reaching down and taking my hand in his.

Smiling, I nodded my head and swallowed back my apprehension. Austin and I had spent every single day together over the last couple of months, but we had yet to make love again. He came to every single appointment I’d had, stayed with me in the hospital, along with Levi, until I was released and sent back home to my parents, where he turned up every day and just stayed by my side, loving me.

Two weeks ago, I’d talked my parents into allowing me back to my sorority house, but this was the first time we’d truly been alone.

Pressing a kiss to the back of my hand, Austin let go and began walking to the bathroom, removing his jacket as he did.

He looked so beautiful dressed up, all fancy in his black suit, his dark hair and colorful tattoos looking sinful against the expensive cut of the material.

Austin glanced back, his stidda seeming less severe on his cheek, and he said, “I’m just grabbing a shower. I’ll be back soon.”

As soon as the door to the bathroom shut, I walked slowly to the mirror and, keeping my eyes downcast, counted to three.

One… two… three…

Snapping my eyes open, I stared at the girl before me and released a long, deep exhale. I took in her dark hair, slowly thickening up after the heavy loss her relapse caused. Her green eyes were rimmed with black and her lips were painted a dark, deep red.

You do not measure up, Lexington. You never will. We are never going to be good enough for him, never beautiful enough.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I let the voice say his piece. Then opening them again, I stared at the reflection and whispered, “Yes, you are. You are beautiful to him. He won’t reject you. You are beautiful, full stop.”