“Hey, you want something to drink?” he asked.

I held up my water and made a crooked smile.

“Ah, good. You found it. I threw a cooler in Sam’s truck because I know you don’t really like to drink,” he said. He seriously thought about me. I was part of his planning process.

“Yeah, thanks. I’m not too sure how I’m going to get home, because I know Calley is going to load up tonight,” I said, my face showing signs of my concern.

“Don’t worry. We’ll be here for a while, and it’s actually not that far from my dad’s, so worst-case scenario, you guys can walk home with me and crash at my house until the morning,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” I said, my mind turning to the thought of spending the night at Reed Johnson’s house.

Not missing a beat, Tatum came running over and plopped herself right on Reed’s lap, snapping me right out of my very pleasant daydream where she didn’t exist. She had her back to me completely, but I could hear their entire conversation. “Baby, you were so good tonight!” she fawned. I didn’t sound like that when I complemented him, no way.

“Thanks! What do I get for being so good,” he suggested. I was getting uncomfortable and flipped my feet to the ground to get up.

“Hey, talk to you later, Noles, kay?” Reed shouted as I walked away.

“Yeah, sure,” I smiled, realizing he was already busy making out with Tatum.

I found Sienna with her feet dangling from the bed of a pickup. I climbed up and sat next to her, kicking her feet at the same rhythm. She turned the side of her lips up in a small smile. “Kinda sucks, huh?” she said.

“Whatcha mean? The party? It’s not bad. I just don’t drink and I’m awkward and don’t really know what to do,” I responded honestly.

“No, I mean that,” she said, gesturing to Reed and Tatum, now fully enveloped in one another across the lot.

“Oh,” I said, turning my head down and knocking the heals of my shoes together like Dorothy from Oz. Sienna smiled at my subtle joke. “Yeah, that kinda sucks. Kinda… a lot,” I admitted.

“I know,” she said, tilting her water to me again for another half-hearted ‘Cheers.’

The party dragged for Sienna and I, as hours passed and teenagers drank more and more. We started making bets on who was going to get sick or stumble first. I was thrilled when I won a dollar after Tatum tripped over her own feet on her way to the cooler. It didn’t console me much when she slung her arms around Reed’s neck, though.

Things were starting to wind down and a few of the pickup trucks were leaving a trail of dust against the night sky as they pulled out from our desert lot. No one was in any shape to drive, I thought.

Sienna and I stood in the middle of the lot, just behind Calley’s car. She was definitely not driving. Sarah wasn’t as wasted, but she was only 15 and still not in any condition to drive. And Sienna and I, well, we were rule followers.

Devin, Cole and Sean came stumbling over, a few junior cheerleaders with them. “Hey, ladies,” Cole slurred. “We’re kickin’ it at Reed’s, you wanna come?”

Knowing I didn’t have a choice, we started walking along the wash with them. Reed was leading the way, carrying Tatum piggyback, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. My stomach felt as if I had just dropped in an elevator and my head felt light. I thought I was maybe going to pass out, but I had Sienna with me to keep me standing. I felt her throw her arm over my shoulder, I think sensing that I needed to be grounded a bit.

Reed was right, his dad’s house was close. We walked for maybe 20 or 30 minutes and made our way to the back of his father’s property. Reed flipped open a gate and the dozen or so of us following him came streaming through his back yard. He slid open the back glass door and we all followed inside. Some of the guys just fell flat on the floor and the girls all lay on the couch. Sienna and I found two lounge chairs over by the fireplace and curled our feet up. I was trying to make myself small. Invisible.

Reed was the last to walk through the main room, flipping the light off. He looked over at me with a goofy grin, and with a bit of a slur said “g’night, Noles.” Then he grabbed Tatum’s hand and led her upstairs.

I felt like a pet and I wanted to run away. But it was three in the morning, and I was too many desert miles away from home. I felt Sienna hand me a blanket, and I grabbed it tightly. She patted my arm knowingly and then snuggled in to fall asleep. I pulled the blanket over my entire body and let my eyes fill up with water. I willed myself not to sob, but I sat there, on the verge, for the next several hours.