We froze for a few seconds, though it felt like minutes. A line was crossed, however small, and we both felt it. I knew I had to be the first to break it, but I fought against my heart to do so. “Happy birthday, Reed,” I said backing out of his arms and looking down. “Hey, we should hurry. Don’t want Tatum freaking out,” I kidded, though not entirely.

“Oh, right,” he said, his eyes holding mine just a little longer than normal.

We ran back to the parking lot and found Tatum and Sean just walking out of the gym doors. Never one for quiet and simple, Tatum squealed Reed’s name and came skipping over. I saw that he had shoved the patch in his pocket long before she saw it, and part of me was pleased that he didn’t want her to cheapen it with one of her tasteless remarks.

We all piled into Reed’s Jeep, which he still wasn’t technically licensed for. They dropped me off first, and Sean smacked my ass as I leapt out of the Jeep, whistling as I ran up my driveway and entered my house.

“That Sean with you?” my dad said, as I came in.

“Yeah, sort of. Well, Reed and Sean,” I responded, rubbing my rear a little embarrassed by the swat and catcall Sean gave me.

“Big game this Friday. Reed feel ready?” my dad asked, one thing on his mind – football.

“I think so,” I said quickly and turned to head to my room down the hall. My mom stopped me on her way out of the laundry room.

“Did Reed like the patch?” she whispered. My grin giving away a little too much.

“Good… careful, ok?” she said.

“OK,” I said, with a bit of an eye roll.

I shut my door and pulled out my phone to wait for my text from Reed. Hours passed and I was starting to think I wouldn’t hear from him. Sean called first just to say good night. I was a little quick to get him off the phone, but thought he bought my studying excuse. I was about to give up and take my shower and call it a night when my phone vibrated.

“Hello?” I said, quietly.

“Hey, sorry. Did I wake you?” Reed said.

“No, I was up. I was just waiting…” I stopped short and decided not to finish.

After a short moment of silence, Reed continued. “Thanks for my present. Seriously, that’s maybe the most thoughtful thing anyone ever gave me,” he said.

“Well, it’s not a Jeep,” I laughed, self-effacing humor always my go-to.

“No, it’s not,” he said, without a hint of sarcasm. “Thank you. It meant a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” I said. “I’m glad you like it. Happy birthday, Reed.”

“Good night, Nolan,” he said, lingering on the phone just a bit before hanging up.

I was in trouble.

9. Not Really

Reed spent his birthday weekend with Tatum in the city, and I spent the weekend casting evil spells into the air then shaking my head at my own ridiculous thoughts. Imagine my surprise when I heard from Reed Sunday afternoon and he told me that he and Tatum spent the entire night and next day vomiting from food poisoning. I felt strangely guilty for my apparent witchcraft abilities.

While Reed and I continued to talk and text almost nightly, the conversations always remained platonic. Admittedly, I never attempted to take them anywhere beyond our friendship. But neither did Reed. I found myself pulling out Reed’s letter before bed to remind myself of the butterflies he could make me feel. Still buzzing from my almost pseudo-intimate moment with Reed weeks before, I oozed school spirit as I prepped myself for Friday’s final regular season football game. I even volunteered to work the grill with Sienna and some of the other members of the band and student council for the Big Bear Tailgate Party.

This year’s fest was full of extra promise – the Bears were looking to go undefeated. Oddly enough, the last time the school did that was under the leadership of the older Johnson. Reed was undoubtedly feeling extra pressure from the situation.

Sienna and I arrived to the main parking lot at 4 p.m. We were charged with cleaning the grill and getting enough hot dogs and burgers grilled by the time 40 hungry football players and even more boosters showed up for dinner by 5. We were starting to panic when I saw Sean’s truck pull into the parking lot, followed shortly after by Reed’s Jeep. The boys walked over with their jerseys slung over their shoulders over their gray practice shirts, long purple shorts and flip flops. There was something so mature in their walk and the way they confidently moved toward us.

“Hey, Noles. Thought you could use some extra hands,” Sean said, coming up to me and kissing me on my cheek. I blushed when he did and caught myself sneaking a look at Reed to see if he noticed, hoping he didn’t. I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt like I should hide my relationship with Sean from him, like it would hurt him to see us together. Or perhaps, more the truth, that it would damage whatever sparks I was imagining between Reed and me.