“Got a ride?” he asked in exactly the polite but distant tone he would use on some ninth grader he hardly knew.

“Bus.” I gestured toward the familiar squeaks as the bus lumbered around the corner several blocks down.

“Okay, then. See you around, Hoyden.” He pulled the door open.

“Close the door!” called the couples as he stepped inside.

I watched him through the glass door as he hung up his puffy parka, then wove between the tables and slipped into the booth where we’d been sitting. He nodded at something Gavin said to him. But Nick’s shoulders were hunched, and he looked so defeated that I wanted to hug him again. I wished I didn’t feel so strongly that he shouldn’t have challenged me to this comp. I wished he would run back out to me, tell me it was all a joke, and make out with me against the wall like he was supposed to.

Watching Nick’s defeated pose, I realized that wasn’t going to happen. Nick might have enjoyed making out with me. He might even want to be with me. But more than anything, Nick wanted to win. And winning me over wasn’t enough.

“Hayden! Yoo-hoo, Hayden O’Malley! Are you and Nick Krieger finally hooking up?”

“How are these people recognizing me?” I muttered to Liz beside me. We’d just slid away from the top of a ski lift, one I could stand to ride because it never rose too far from the ground, when we were overtaken by sophomores. It was snowing—not a pleasant light shower with the sun occasionally breaking through the clouds, either, but a heavy, constant dump from overcast skies that made visibility almost nil. Without admitting it, I’d had an eye out for Nick all day, and I figured Liz had been looking for Davis, but we’d never recognized them in the thick white air. Yet these sophomores were the fifth group of boarders from our school to pick me out that afternoon. My hair must glow in the dark.

“Dish, Hayden,” exclaimed a gossip-seeking girl who skied directly into my path. “It would be sooooo cute if you and Nick got together after he sealed your backpack inside that plaster of Paris volcano last year.”

Liz giggled and elbowed me. “I’d forgotten all about that one!”

“But my friends say no way,” the girl went on. “Nick hates you. Which is it?”

I shrugged. “I guess you’ll have to ask Nick.” And if she found out, I hoped she’d pass that info along to me.

“Practice hard,” said another girl shooting past on her board. She called backward to me, “I’ve got a Poseur ticket riding on you.”

“Me, too!” said another girl accelerating down the white slopes. “Me, too! Me, too!” more of them called, until the air was as thick with pressure as it was with snowflakes.

Liz knew what I was thinking. “Let it go,” she advised me. “We’re taking the afternoon off, remember?”

We’d worked hard all morning at getting me to go off the jump, with no success, despite the “help” of Josh and his posse. On the bright side, if I never became a professional snowboarder and never opened that door for Josh, he already had a whole album’s worth of raps about me, my boarding, and my gastrointestinal issues. Maybe he could sign a record contract.

But Liz and I had made a pact that no matter what happened this morning, we would let loose this afternoon and have fun on the mountain. Much as I loved Chloe, she was a pain to board with, because I was forever slowing down so she could keep up, or helping her right herself and innocent bystanders after she crashed into the ski-lift line. To be honest, I was relieved she’d said she couldn’t board with us today because she had “a pressing matter to attend to,” even though her tone of voice made me suspicious she was meddling in my business again. Liz was a different story completely. On her skis, Liz kept up with me.

“Why don’t we go down Main Street?” She gestured to the enormous slope in front of us with the ski lodge a tiny dot at the bottom. “And then we’ll have time to take the lift up for one last run before it gets dark.”

“Race ya,” I said, getting a five-second head start on her before she could put her goggles down.

We crisscrossed the expanse of snow. She leaped over moguls and crash-landed on the other side, her falls cushioned by six inches of fresh powder. I used the moguls to launch me into lazy 360s. We giggled and shouted and nearly ran into each other a dozen times on our way down. Despite the slow powder conditions and the snow plastering my goggles so I had to stop and wipe them every few minutes, this was what snowboarding was really about for me. Speeding downhill in a race was fun, and I loved pushing my body to land new stunts with steeze. But the real joy came in messing around with friends, exploring, trying new things without worrying about how they’d look, and knowing I could come back and do it all again tomorrow.

“Boy alert,” Liz called as we reached the bottom of Main Street and passed the half-pipe. I stopped beside her, shook the snow out of my hair (gingerly, because the ends of my hair were heavy with ice), and pulled off my goggles so I could see. Sure enough, Nick, Davis, and Gavin stood in line on the side of the pipe, waiting their turns and watching another guy bust ass on a 720 attempt.

“Oooh,” said the crowd around the pipe.

“Oooh,” echoed the people braving the snow to drink beer or hot chocolate out on the deck of the ski lodge. They were far enough away that their voices reached us a split-second later.

“Do you want to go and say hi to the boys?” Liz asked me. She was so sweet to ask me first. I knew she wanted some Davis time since she hadn’t seen him all day, but I’d told her how things had ended last night between me and Nick.

“Sure,” I told her. “I have to go back to school with Nick on Monday. No point in avoiding him now.” She took off her skis and I kicked off my board below the pipe, and we hiked up behind the boys in the center of the crowd of spectators lining the lip.

“Davis,” Liz called.

He looked back toward us, ducked his head so he could see us among the other spectators, and waved at us. Then he turned around to the half-pipe again. He and Gavin both leaned their heads in toward Nick so all three of them could share a laugh. I heard their cackles echo against the far side of the half-pipe. The whole crowd sighed, “Oooh.” And then I heard Nick say, “Fire-crotch.”

biff

biff

(bif) n. 1. crash 2. somebody bites it

Thinking back on it later, I realized I must have dropped my board without any regard to how far away it might have slid down the slope. I must have climbed to the rim of the half-pipe with surprising nimbleness, considering my usual trouble maneuvering in my boarding boots. I must have pushed five people aside. But all I remember is shoving Nick in the back and screaming, “Liar!”

He spun around with his dark eyes wide. It was the only time I’d ever seen him startled.

“Did you call me a fire-crotch in the lunchroom, Nick?” I shouted. “Did you? Does it really matter if you didn’t, when you called me one just now? You have got a lot of freaking nerve!” Panting, I managed to stop myself from saying anything else, because so many people around us were leaning in, listening, murmuring about the bet and the Poseur concert.

But what I’d said didn’t begin to tap how furious I was with him, and how hurt I was. He’d stood there in the snow at Mile-High Pie last night and made me feel sorry for him! He’d made me feel terrible for something I didn’t even do, after he’d lied to me to my face! And then he’d kissed me, and I’d let him!

Mortifying.

Now his lips parted. I waited to hear the next lie. I almost hoped it was a good one, so at least I’d have an entertaining story to share with my friends about what an ass he was.

But Davis spoke up first in a reasonable tone, like a psychiatrist soothing a loony. “We weren’t talking about you, Hayden.”

Gavin jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “The kid in the pipe just busted his nuts on the deck.”

I glared at Gavin, showing him I didn’t buy his ridiculous story. Then, just to make sure he was lying, too, I stuck my head between him and Nick and peered into the pipe. A freshman lay at the bottom of the course, holding his crotch. As I watched, he slowly stood and used his board as a crutch to hobble out of the pipe. The spectators cheered like he was an injured football player walking off the field during a game.

Nick was watching me. Not glaring. Just watching me with an expression beyond hurt.

I took a breath, and couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Come on, Nick,” Gavin called. “You’re up. Better get your head in the game, if you know what I mean.”

Nick still watched me as he passed. Then all three boys turned their backs on me as they hiked above the pipe. Nick stepped onto his board and lowered his goggles.

“Here’s your board,” Liz said behind me.

“Thanks.” Absently I gripped the snowboard she slipped into my mitten. “I guess you heard all that.”

“I guess everyone between here and Aspen heard it,” she murmured. “Why didn’t you tell him you were sorry?”

“I—” I began. Truth was, I’d opened my mouth to apologize, since that was the logical thing to do after such a stupid mistake. But I’d still been so angry over something he hadn’t really done, I couldn’t get the words out.

So angry that I would have belittled what he loved or challenged him to a stupid contest if I’d had the chance.

“Nick Krieger,” the crowd sighed, collectively recognizing Nick as he hopped onto the slope and sped toward the deck.

He dropped into the pipe and picked up incredible momentum down the side and across the flat, almost as if the pipe weren’t filled with powder. The opposite wall launched him so high, I definitely would have lost my balance and rolled down the windows if I were him. Nick just grabbed his board in a method air, like it was nothing. He hung in the sky for an impossible second, then slid down the side.

“Oooh,” said the crowd, followed a moment later by an “oooh” from the ski lodge.

He hit the same height in his next trick, a 360. He couldn’t do my tricks, but he went much higher, and he was so heavy and powerful that the pipe seemed to grind and bend underneath him. I could feel it in my teeth.

“Oooh,” said the crowd.

He crossed the flat again and launched his third trick, a 540. I could tell the split-second after he hit his apex that what he’d intended to do didn’t match his rotation.

“That’s not going to end well,” Liz whispered as Nick headed for the snow without completing the last revolution. I’d seen a lot of crashes, courtesy of Josh and his peeps. I pictured this one in my head before it happened.

I couldn’t watch. The snow in the air had thickened, but even so, I could see his dark silhouette headed downward. I closed my eyes.

“Biff!” yelled the crowd in unison.

I opened my eyes and gasped. “He’s not moving.”

Liz grabbed my padded arm.

I waited for Gavin and Davis to move from their places at the top of the course. A gray snow cloud of testosterone always hung over the half-pipe course, making boys try tricks they couldn’t land and pretend not to be hurt when they were. Nick would be embarrassed if his friends went down to check on him. He would be horrified if I did. But somebody had to go. Nick got hit in football games all autumn long, and he was used to it. If he wasn’t getting up, he was really hurt.

Finally, Gavin and Davis maneuvered their boards to the edge of the course and tipped over into the pipe, skidding to a stop just above Nick’s dark, motionless body.

Through the thick snow, I saw him slowly rise.

I gasped again, and realized I’d been holding my breath.

He kicked off his snowboard and hoisted it behind his back to carry it home. The boarders around me on the lip of the course cheered for him.

“Thank God!” Liz exclaimed. “He can’t be hurt too badly if he’s walking away.” She turned to me with her dark eyebrows raised in question. “Want to go after him?”

I did, desperately. I squinted through the snow after the dim retreating shapes of the three boys, Gavin and Davis sliding on their boards, Nick limping a little. “Better let him cool down first.”

Liz puffed out a little sigh of relief. “Still want to get in that last run?”

“No. If it’s okay with you, let’s call it a night.” I’d thought I wanted to squeeze every minute of boarding I could out of winter break. I’d never been the person to turn down one last run. And I should have been ecstatic that my snowboarding challenge with Nick was over now because he’d been injured.

But for once, my heart just wasn’t in boarding. My heart was with Nick.

This was how my life worked: Something great happened simultaneously with something very bad. I won lessons with Daisy Delaney, but I had to snowboard off a cliff to get any benefit from them. I found the perfect pair of jeans, but they didn’t belong to me, and they had BOY TOY written across the butt. Now my ugly bet with Nick had ended, so maybe we could finally get together. But oops—I had just screamed at him in front of a live audience, and he was probably crippled.

That night after supper I sat on my bed, staring at the cell phone in my hand. I’d already called Liz and Chloe. Both of them had promised to meet me on the slopes the next day just for fun, since the comp was obviously off after Nick’s injury. More importantly, they said Davis and Gavin did not have an update on Nick’s condition. Boys, it seemed, did not check on each other like girls.

Which was precisely my problem. I couldn’t stand the thought of Nick hurting in his house without his mother home. Maybe his dad wasn’t home, either. They might not even know he’d fallen. I had to make sure he was okay.