“Listen to me. I want to . . . I don’t know . . . get you through this. You seem like you’re on the edge of doing something terrible, and you don’t have to do bad things to get attention—”

“You think I’m doing this for attention?” I gasped out, shaking my head at him angrily. “You want to fix me?”

He faltered and struggled to find words. “No, it may appear that way, but that’s not what I meant—”

“Stop,” I said, holding my hand. “First of all, if I want to be fixed, I’ll call a shrink like you hinted at this morning. Secondly, just because we spent the night in the same bed does not mean you know me. You have no idea if I’m good or bad, you have no clue what happened to me, and you can’t tell me who I can date. If I want to get drunk, I will. If I want to snort some coke, I will. If I want to fuck Cuba, then I’ll enjoy every dirty moment. I’m not afraid of getting my heart broken, Leo. There’s not one there to break. Thirdly, why do you give a shit, anyway? You basically told me to stay away from you.”

I whipped around, heading for the park exit, not even turning to wave bye to Sebastian or Cuba.

I heard Leo call out to my retreating back. “Dammit, Nora. Come back! Don’t walk away from me!”

I kept going, yet I stupidly prayed he’d come after me. Tell me that he wanted to keep me from Cuba because he felt the connection between us. But that would be a lie because now I knew the truth. He’d read my journal and only felt sorry for me.

I fucking hated pity. It was a wasted emotion.

“If love is the answer, then I’m changing the question.”

–Leo Tate

AS I WALKED back to the gym from the park, I wasn’t thinking about the contractors who were there, working on getting the pool in. Nope, I stuck on Nora and how she made me forget every practical thought in my head. She’d driven me insane today at the park, licking that ice cream cone and talking to Cuba. And he’d been all over her, standing next to her, wiping ice cream off her face, grinning at her. Even when I’d been talking to Tiffany, I’d been distracted, watching their annoying flirtation play out.

Nora . . . she did something to me. I’d spent half an hour in the shower this morning, jerking off to her, thinking about her big green eyes, how she’d touched my tats at breakfast, the way she smelled like fresh peaches. Most of all I kept remembering her in the bathroom, tall and sexy with breasts perfect for cupping in my hands.

I’d said she was too young, but maybe it wasn’t just the age difference. Because the more I got to know her, the more I saw that the age factor wasn’t the big deal I was making it out to be. Maybe it was a convenient excuse. A part of me knew that besides the age, I simply wasn’t good enough for her. I’d end up treating her like all the other girls I’d known. Like shit.

And I didn’t want to be part of her destruction. Just a number on her list.

My eyes were caught by a camera shop’s storefront, and it reminded me of Teddy. It was sometimes hard to tell how he felt about things, but I’d sensed he’d taken a liking to Nora. She needed something to keep her out of trouble, and maybe helping Teddy would be good for her.

I strolled inside the shop to check it out. Teddy’d mentioned his sister didn’t have much money to support his film habit, so I looked around and talked to the clerk some about what types of pictures Teddy took. I ended up spending about a hundred bucks on regular film plus some black and white. Knowing how Teddy loved to take pictures, he’d be thrilled with whatever I got because he wasn’t hard to please.

Part of why I’d taken to him so fast was that he and his sister had lost their parents at an early age just like me and Sebastian. Mostly, it was his enthusiasm for life that fascinated me, reminding me how easily we forget the little things we used to think about when we were younger, like a nice sunset or how great a song sounds the first time you hear it. Even though he had autism, he saw a whole lot more than I did.

When I got back to the gym, I hit it hard even though I’d just had a run at the park, hoping to rid my body of the frustration I’d been feeling, I lifted for an hour, concentrating on my arms, sweating Nora out of my head.

While I was working out, Sebastian came in the weight room, making a beeline for me. “You wanna tell me what that was at the park with Nora?” he snapped, like he was irritated.

I let the dumbbells fall to the floor, their clinking noise the only sound in the room. I didn’t know what to say to him. I’d been out of control in the park. The truth is, trying not to want her made me want her more.

“Leo? Dude, what’s wrong with you?” he asked. “I’ve never seen you get worked up over a girl.”

At least I could answer some of that question. “Nora made a list of bad things to do in her journal. I read it. When I asked her about it, she freaked out and got mad when I tried to tell her to stay away from Cuba.”

Sebastian’s brow wrinkled. “What did it say?”

“That she wants to drink, do drugs, and have random sex with multiple people,” I said, snarling a little on the last part.

“Ah,” he said, sitting down on the bench next to me, his annoyance at me gone.

“And I want to know why. Something’s off about her family.”

He nodded. “Her mom’s a piece of work.”

I agreed. “Look, here’s the thing. I want you to keep an eye on her. Check on her. Call her. Hang out with her. Make sure she’s not doing anything stupid,” I said, not meeting his eyes. I mean, I pretty much sounded like a stalker. Why did I fucking care so much about what happened to her? I’d only just met her.

He laughed out loud. “Dude, challenge accepted. She’s gorgeous. And I was planning on hanging with her anyway,” he said as he stood up to go.

He got to the door and turned back around, a serious look on his face. “Technically, she may be younger than you, but I think she’s had to grow up too fast, man. Just like you did.”

A FEW DAYS later, I did something I’d later regret. I called Nora to invite her over to the gym for an impromptu poolside get together with Teddy. The pool had been finished that week, and it seemed like a good opportunity to see if the spur-of-the-moment decision to ask to her to help him had been a good idea. I could already tell that Teddy liked her, but it was important for her to return the feeling. I didn’t know her well enough to judge yet, and I wanted to believe that she wasn’t just another entitled rich girl, but I needed to see her one more time.