I can’t hold in the news any longer. “Vic’s coming back to school today,” I tell her.

Ash’s eyes go wide. “What? Are you sure? How do you know?” Her questions come out fast, like bullets flying out of a machine gun.

“I talked to him.”

“On the phone?”

I shake my head. “No. I saw him.”

“You saw him? Where?”

“In Fairfield,” I tell her, then add, “at Enrique’s Auto Body.”

“So he actually told you he’s coming back?”

I nod. “Yep. He promised.”

But by third period, Vic still hasn’t shown up.

By sixth period, he hasn’t shown up.

By seventh period, I get upset because it’s obvious he’s a no-show.

By ninth period, I’m pissed.

After school, I head to cheerleading practice. I’ve missed so many practices, but I know that Bree is covering for me.

I find her on the grassy area by the bleachers, warming up with the rest of the squad.

“Wow. I didn’t think you’d be here,” Bree says when I walk up to her.

I shed my hoodie and drop my water bottle on the grass. “I didn’t want to miss more practice.”

Bree looks confused. “We expected you to take more time off, Monika.”

“Well I’m here.”

The girls are silent now, all eyes on me. I look at the varsity squad and notice that they’re all in formation. And Cassidy Richards is standing in my place.

“What’s going on?”

“Cassidy’s filling in for you,” Bree explains. “Until you come back.”

“I am back.”

“No. I mean… for sure. But you missed practices the past couple of weeks, and since we didn’t know if you were coming back, we made this new routine up and…” She smiles wide, and her ponytail whips around her face. “You should watch it! It’s really cool. Cassidy went to some cheer camp in California for spring break last year, and they taught her a bunch of stuff that she shared with us.”

“That’s awesome,” I say, forcing the words out of my mouth. “I can’t wait to see it.”

A cry of relief breaks from her lips. “Oh, that’s great! Okay, you sit right there,” she says excitedly, pointing to a spot on the ground. “We’ll do the routine, and you watch. You’re gonna think it’s the coolest!”

I sit on the grass and watch the routine to new music I haven’t heard before, then a complicated F formation with really cool movements to match the steps.

Truth is, Cassidy does a great job. And I can feel my arthritis more now. I massage my wrists hoping to relieve the constant ache.

“Wow,” is all I can say when the routine is over.

Bree claps a bunch of times at the girls—and herself. “So you like it, Monika? It’s awesome, isn’t it?”

I nod, my neck feeling heavy and stiff. “It’s really awesome.”

Bree isn’t the kind of girl to be subtle, and now is no exception. She’s totally preoccupied with herself. She’s one of my best friends, but sometimes I wonder if our friendship would fade away if I weren’t co-captain of the cheer squad. “I was thinking we shouldn’t do it at the pep rally, but instead wait to do it at the next game during halftime.” She kneels beside me. “Of course we’ll teach you the routine so you can take Cassidy’s place. Unless you want to give her the spotlight since you’ve missed so much—”

“For sure,” I tell her, cutting her off. I pretend like it’s no big deal. “Cassidy’s doing a great job. She should be up front and take the lead.”

“Really?” Cassidy’s eyes go all wide, and her hands fly to her mouth like she just won the lottery. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” I’m not lying when I add, “I mean, you guys look amazing. Bree’s right. If it’s okay with everyone, I’m gonna bow out and let you guys finish up the season.”

“You want to quit the squad?” Bree asks.

I nod. “Yeah.” I actually don’t want to quit, but it’s obvious I’ve been replaced and nobody expects me to cheer again this year.

I watch them for a little while longer, feeling like a relative nobody wants around anymore. When they all go inside to cool down, I take my water bottle and slip back into my hoodie.

I always thought I had life all figured out.

Turns out I was wrong.

Chapter Thirty-three