Where’s that ‘pure satisfaction’ Zinnia was talking about?

All I felt was the life of another living creature draining away—a life force that coursed through my entire being before fading off into oblivion.

I’d just made my first vampire kill and all I could think about was the tortured look on Vivienne’s eyes when she firmly, but pleadingly told me that she was not the vampire that destroyed my life.

She wasn’t Claudia, and neither was this girl I’d just killed.

CHAPTER 14: SOFIA

“Do you like it?” Derek asked me with such a hopeful tone, it broke my heart to even think of telling him the truth.

“I love it, but don’t you think it’s too much, Derek?” My tone was tentative and unsure. “I really don’t need to have something as lavish as this. I could’ve easily lived here just like everyone else. Surely someone is more deserving than…”

“Nonsense,” he interrupted, shaking his head firmly. “You’re the woman I love. In my eyes, you’re practically princess of The Shade. You’re not like everyone else, Sofia. No one here is more deserving than you are. Accept that.”

I forced a smile, knowing how stubborn he could get when he set his mind to something. I looked at my surroundings and felt my gut clench when friends I just recently made at The Catacombs showed up. The widow, Lily, and her children, Gavin, Rob and Madeline—seventeen, seven and five years old respectively—appeared at my doorstep. Lily’s eyes widened upon seeing the quarters’ modernly designed interior. The two younger children went inside without hesitation, eager to explore the home, their eyes bright with delight and curiosity.

“They said The Palace was stunning, but I didn’t expect it to be like this…” Lily muttered under her breath.

I remembered what their home looked like. It felt garish to live in such a place when the family of four was squashed together in one room.

“The Palace?” Derek asked.

Lily’s eyes once again betrayed her terror when it came to Derek. She never really did get used to his presence and she always looked as if she were frightened that she would say or do something that would displease him.

“That’s what the Naturals call this place…” Gavin was a lot more confident around Derek. Sometimes, he even bordered on defiant—something I admired, but still found myself fearing for him, because not all vampires would tolerate his insolence the way Derek did.

“What do you think?” I asked Gavin. I’d long realized since I first met him how much I valued his opinion. I found it refreshing that he always spoke his mind without hesitation, telling me things as they were and not as I wanted to hear them.

Gavin looked Derek straight in the eye as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back on a bare wall. “It’s over-indulgent, but I think you already know that.”

Derek visibly tensed, most likely surprised that Gavin would have the gall to speak to him in that manner.

“Sofia deserves the best,” said Derek.

Gavin’s eyes went from Derek to me and to my relief, he nodded. “I’m not going to argue with that. I have to admit that Sofia really is quite special.” He then took out a white rose that had been tucked in his back pocket. “I heard it’s your birthday.” He approached and handed me the rose. “Happy Birthday, Sofia. Now, you can’t say I never gave you anything.”

From behind me, I could hear Paige and Rosa trying to stifle their giggles. I wondered what they found so funny until I noticed the look on Derek’s face after Gavin gave me the rose. He looked just about ready to rip Gavin’s heart out.

Derek cocked his head to the side. “Do you have a death wish, boy?” he asked Gavin.

Lily was trembling. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she suffered a heart attack then and there. Her face had drained of all color.

Gavin, on the other hand, still had a cocky smile on his face. He stayed calm as he gave Derek a look over from head to foot. “Don’t worry, your majesty. I’m not interested in your princess. Not in that way.”

“In what way are you interested in her then?”

“Not in any way that would be a threat to either her or you, your highness. She’s a friend—a sister even. Nothing more.”

Gavin said the words in a matter-of-fact way, as if he expected all of us to already know what he’d just explained. He sounded almost bored. Even I was intimidated by Derek’s disposition at that point, but Gavin didn’t even flinch.

I recalled the first time I had spent time with Gavin. It was right after Claudia took him from the farm and I helped stopped her from making a slave out of him. Claudia attacked him and left some pretty nasty gashes on his upper torso with her claws. I pleaded for Derek to give me a vial of his blood, so we could use it to heal Gavin’s wounds.

“You want me to drink his blood?” Gavin spat out, staring at the vial in disdain. “Are you insane?”

“It will help you heal…” I said meekly, unsettled by the anger blazing in his eyes. I wondered to myself why I was feeling guilty. It wasn’t my fault Claudia caught him and clawed her nails through him. Heck…he should be thankful that I intervened.

“Yeah? Well, duh…of course it will help me heal. Doesn’t mean I want vampire blood running through my veins…” He stared at me disgustedly. “Have you been drinking his blood?”

I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. “Several times…”

“Migrates…” He rolled his eyes. “No wonder the vampires treat you as pets. What are you doing here, really?”

We were in his small cell in The Catacombs and he was lying on one of the four cots belonging to his family. The drab setting and dimly-lit room proved to be rather depressing.

“I just wanted to check on you,” I responded to his query, wondering why he was throwing so much hostility at me.

“You think you’re some sort of savior, don’t you? Like you’re above us just because the prince of The Shade is professing his love to you?” Gavin, despite the bloodied bandages wrapped around his torso, sat up on his cot and glared at me.

“No…I just wanted to help.”

“I’ve been here all my life, girl. I know the vampires a lot better than you do. Do you think you’re the first Migrate these creatures have been infatuated by? You’re not. There have been others before you.” He snorted as he shot me a condescending look. “It’s the same old story. The vampire fell in love. The Migrate got special treatment. Then what? The human gets either turned or killed. If not, they end up with us Naturals—practically useless, because they’ve been so broken, both mentally and physically, by the vampire who claimed to love them. I could introduce you to one. Anna—stunning beauty, but degraded to nothing but a whimpering child. You’re nothing special.”

A lump formed in my throat as I searched my mind for a response. You obviously don’t know what kind of person Derek Novak is, was what I wanted to say, but it was clear that Gavin thought himself better schooled in the subject of vampires than I was. Thus, I just hung my head in surrender. It seemed pointless trying to get my point through to him, at least at that moment.

The silence seemed to mellow him down, draining the fight out of him. “You have no idea what it’s really like to be a human at The Shade, living like every day could be your last. Don’t come here holding yourself high above everyone else.”

“I’m not holding myself above anyone! Is it so wrong to want to help, Gavin?”

He studied me carefully, assessing me, perhaps trying to figure out if I was being sincere. His eyes then once again found the vial containing Derek’s blood. “I’m not going to drink that. I don’t think you should either.”

“Why?”

“Because the last thing you want is to owe a vampire anything.”

Standing in the living room of my new quarters in The Catacombs, I couldn’t help but form a bitter smile as I realized the extent to which I had neglected to follow Gavin’s advice. It felt like I owed Derek everything.

Derek continued to study Gavin carefully. He then gave Gavin a nod. “Very well then.” He straightened to his full height, once again towering over the rest of us. “I will entrust her to your care. She seems to put a lot of faith in you, so I expect that you will look after her during her stay here in these caves. Do you agree with this?”

Gavin smirked. “How can I refuse? Sure. I’ll take her under my wing.”

“Gavin…” Lily muttered, her voice hoarse and dry. She still had that mortified look in her eyes. I was about to approach Lily and reassure her, when Corrine stepped into the room. Derek raised a brow upon seeing the witch.

“You told me to inform you once Ashley’s turning is about to commence,” Corrine said.

I felt myself go pale at what that implied.

“Wait here,” Derek instructed.

I shook my head. “I’m going with you.”

“Sofia…you don’t have to see this.”

“No.” I stood my ground. “I want to see this. I have to see this.”

Sadness filled his eyes as he nodded. I couldn’t place exactly what emotion was coursing through him. To me, for reasons I couldn’t entirely understand at that moment, it felt like my sandcastle had just been hit by another wave.

CHAPTER 15: DEREK

I didn’t want her to see anybody—much less Ashley—being turned into one of us. It wasn’t the prettiest of sights, neither was it a memory that one could easily purge out of the mind. I was afraid that the sight would haunt Sofia forever. I was afraid that seeing Ashley turn would forever remove from Sofia’s mind the option of becoming a vampire.

That’s when I realized that I was still hoping that she would agree to be one of our kind. I hated myself for being so selfish.

How could I wish my curse upon the woman I love?

We were taking the walk from the Black Heights all the way to The Sanctuary, Corrine’s home at The Shade.