He turned his head until his lips touched the center of my forehead. “I know, but that wasn’t nearly as terrifying as watching him point that gun at you.”

“It’s part of my job.”

“Your job sucks.”

I laughed a little. “Sometimes, but today I was so happy that I got to do it.”

We fell into a heavy silence again and I knew I needed to get up and walk away from him once and for all. I just didn’t know that I was going to be able to do that.

“Is this really the end, Asa?”

He made a noise in his throat, then climbed off the chair he was sitting in next to me. He walked around the front of me and put his hands on either side of my face. He tilted my head back and bent down so that his lips brushed softly against my own.

“I don’t know, Royal. Do you think you can love me enough to let me lie to you for the rest of our lives?”

I jerked back from him just a little bit and blinked at him. “What?”

He kissed me again and this time put some force behind it. His tongue snuck out to touch the center of my lips and I felt the scrape of his teeth when I let him in. He kissed me until neither of us could breathe and I was forced to hold on to him or melt away into nothing.

“I love you, Royal. I love you enough to live for you, to be awake for you, to be here in this moment as long as you are in it with me. I love you enough to let you know every little dirty secret I have and to tell you all the terrible things I have done and how those things left their marks on my soul. I love you in a way that makes me want to be more than I ever have been before, but I also love you enough to want to protect you from things that I know are going to hurt you. If you love me enough and trust me enough to let me keep those things from you for an eternity, then maybe we have a shot. I know it’s asking an impossible thing, but that’s the only way.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I pushed him away and jumped to my feet. “You love me, but you won’t tell me what drove you away in the first place and I’m just supposed to accept that? Is this another one of your games, Asa? Because if it is, you’re going to lose big-time.”

“No games, Red. Just me, you, and a secret you’re going to have to live with if you want us to be together. Believe me, I totally get it if you can’t do it.”

“Why do you always make me want to love and hate you at the same time?”

“It’s part of my charm.” A tiny grin pulled at the corner of his mouth and I shoved my hands through my hair in frustration.

“I’m a cop. I don’t do secrets.”

He reached out and pulled me to his chest. I was finally wrapped in the hug I had been longing for ever since he walked out of the door at my mother’s place.

“I know. That’s why this situation between us is impossible.” He rubbed his cheek against the top of my head and then let me go. “Being with you gave me something I never had before.”

“What’s that?”

“Something to sacrifice. I never wanted anything or anyone as badly as I want you for my own, Royal. If I have to sacrifice you for your own good, then that’s what I’ll do.”

He was talking in riddles and it was all so frustrating I wanted to scream. “I don’t think I can go down this road with you, Asa.”

I saw the light in his eyes dim but the tiny smile on his mouth never wavered. “I didn’t think you could. I really do love you.”

“I love you, too.”

We just stared at each other, him silently begging me to accept his terms and me pleading with him to just open the vault and let me know whatever it was he was hiding. It was obvious neither one of us was going to give. After about five minutes I turned on my heel and headed for the front door, all the while praying he was going to call me back.

He didn’t.

CHAPTER 19

Asa

Waking Rome up at the crack of dawn to explain the craziness that had gone down my first night back at work proved to be the easy part. Talking to Brite and Darcy about Avett’s involvement was much more difficult. Darcy was all for bailing the girl out of jail as quickly as possible, while Brite was so furious with her and her poor judgment he wanted to let her sit and stew. Either direction they finally went in, I gave them the name of the lawyer that had helped me out when I ended up in hot water last year, and wished them luck. The guy cost a small fortune, but he had the reputation of being a ruthless opponent in the Denver court system, and I knew eventually Brite was going to want to wade in to save his little girl. If anyone could sort out the mess Avett had made of her life, it was Quaid Jackson.