The Do-Over

“Re-spawns, Do-overs and What Video Games Can Teach Us About Life”— Posted on the blog of Girl Geek on December 16, 2013

The hangovers from the first annual DracoCon have faded, and the sleep is wiped from our eyes. Our anticipation for the next Dragon Epoch expansion is only increased and that ever-elusive secret hidden quest still beyond our grasp. I take this moment to consider that some gaming truths can teach gamers the cold hard realities of life.

Seems like a weird idea, no? You are thinking that Girl Geek has finally lost her mind. You play to blow off steam and hang out with your friends online and have fun. Life lessons, Girl Geek? You’re a looney!

But think about when you are faced with a difficult quest, a seemingly impossible foe to defeat or a trap-riddled dungeon that you just can’t make it through. Once your character’s life is reduced to 0, what happens? Re-spawn!

You show up at your home point as a ghost and after a minimal wait period, your character’s belongings and health are all restored. You take what you learned from the previous encounter with that monster whose attack took you by surprise or that trap that caused you to get run through with a spear and pinned to the wall. You go back to that encounter with increased knowledge and maybe, after a few—or a few hundred—more tries, you accomplish what you set out for.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if life had a re-spawn button?

Oops, did you accidentally tell your girlfriend the truth about how her ass looked in her new jeans? Or did you take that dreaded moment to actually look at her ass when she asked you? Big mistake! And by now I’m sure you are suffering the consequences. But if there was the ability to hit the re-spawn button, you could go back to that split second with the knowledge that one hesitation, one extra second to actually catch a glimpse, will get your head bitten off. Re-spawn button. “No, baby, you look absolutely beautiful in those new jeans!” Lesson learned!

The lure of a do-over is so attractive with more serious mistakes in life, too. Why can’t we re-spawn after screwing up, so we can do it over—even if it means showing up as a chainmail-bikini-wearing ghost?

We are fortunate that our beloved Dragon Epoch doesn’t feature the Hardcore Mode, which leads to the dreaded permanent death. Permadeath would be one damn depressing way to end your game. Your fiftieth-level Barbarian mercenary has just died. Time to start over in the meadow as a first-level Fire Mage picking daffodils for General SylvenWood. But even then, worst case you can start over with a new character, dump all your baggage and have a totally clean slate.

Don’t you wish you could hit a button and start parts of your life over again?

In so many ways, as we learn, we are also screwing things up. And in the process of bumbling our way through life without that wonderful re-spawn, we make it nearly impossible to untangle the very mess we are creating while we are learning those important lessons.

I’d like a re-spawn button for life. Time for a do-over.

Chapter One

Mia

This was the ongoing story of how I completely and utterly fucked up my life. I guess cancer had some part in the whole mess, too, but it was definitely off the rails before all the medical stuff happened. I wished I could blame the cancer, but it wasn’t cancer of the brain. No, apparently something else had gone wrong with my brain before the cancer showed up.

I’d always tried to be an optimistic person. When life gave me shit, I made lemonade. Absent father? Sick mother? Monstrous tuition? I set up an auction to sell my virginity in order to make the money I’d needed.

I could always think my way around a crappy situation in the past. But this…this…I wasn’t prepared for it and it had bowled me over. I couldn’t think straight about any of it. And now, we were in the middle of a nightmare and I had no do-over button. And given the vacant, zombie-like look in Adam’s dark eyes, I think he was wishing for one, too.

So here it was finally Monday morning after a completely gut-wrenching weekend. We had both just found out about my pregnancy and Adam had just found out about the cancer. I glanced over at him without turning my head. His eyes were on the road, both hands gripping the white vinyl steering wheel of his vintage Porsche. He couldn’t see me studying him but there was no mistaking his stiff bearing, the undeterred focus that he usually put into his driving. In spite of those appearances, he was clearly distracted. His mind was always running, like one of his computers. It never shut down and right now, he was in problem-solving mode.

Trouble was, not all problems could be solved, not even by a boy genius.

“So, um, I’m going to need for you to wait in the waiting room…” I said.