I used to be able to do it, confidently. But not anymore. People would think I was his mother—or grandmother.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated when he sat there quietly watching me.

“I was going to say that you look amazing. It would be an honor to stand beside you.”

I rubbed my hand across my now fuzzy scalp. “I’m sorry. I just don’t—I—”

“And all your friends? Heath, Kat and Jenna…I even convinced Liam to come by saying you’d like to see him.”

“I would like to see him. Maybe they can come up here and hang out with me?”

Adam clenched his jaw and put his hands on his knees but didn’t appear upset. “You’re going to have to jump back into the land of the living sometime, you know.”

I looked away. “I know. It will be easier to do that when I have hair and a little excess weight on my body.”

He sighed and stood up. “Okay. It goes without saying that I would like you to be down there with me but I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do.”

I looked down, my face flaming with shame. “I’m sorry.”

He bent and kissed the top of my head. “Don’t be. But if you are feeling better later, please come down?”

“Okay.”

He smoothed a hand over my cheek, smiled and was gone. And it felt like my heart was following him out the door because it suddenly hurt. I knew I was disappointing him but I just wasn’t ready for this.

As people started to arrive and progress through the homes, I had a prime 180-degree view of the garden from my windows up top and I’d even adjusted them so that I could see outside without them being able to see in. Smart windows indeed! I sat in my window seat and saw faces—more I didn’t recognize than that I did—of the people on the charity tour. Adam greeted every single one, shaking their hands, handing them off to the party planners, caterers or tour guides.

In all, there were several hundred people in attendance. Jordan showed up with a gorgeous woman on each arm. One was a dark-haired, mocha-skinned beauty and the other a voluptuous redhead in a tight dress. Two? Really? Typical Jordan.

Kat arrived with Heath and Connor, all nicely dressed. I got excited, hoping that that they would come into the house and hang out with me. Instead, they all hightailed it to the open bar and got drinks. Sheesh. Nice to see I rated lower than a free cocktail.

I pulled out my phone and texted Heath but he never even checked his phone. He just sat with Kat at a table under the awning, just at the edge where I could see them—and they were soon joined by Jenna, Alex and eventually Adam’s cousin William.

Soon I was aching with loneliness, up here all alone. But what the hell had I expected? I had chosen to exclude myself. I was like a little girl, pouting, sequestering myself, wanting to be a part of the party but not willing to do what it took.

I had my face pressed against the glass when suddenly there was a knock at the door. I jumped up, hoping it was Kat but looking down, I saw her shock of dark red hair next to Heath and knew it must not be her. Who, then? Had Mom and Peter slipped by without me noticing?

I got up and opened the door and almost fell over in shock. Jordan stood alone with a drink in either hand. He held one out to me while he sipped at the other.

“It’s mineral water,” he said. “You thirsty?”

I reached out and took the cold glass with a shaky hand. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Can I come in?”

“Aren’t you busy enough tending to your harem?” I said with a smile.

He laughed. “Ah, you saw me arrive with two women. Nice. I hope everyone else thinks that, too.”

I stepped back and let him into the room, sipping at the fizzy water he’d brought me and trying not to show my puzzlement that he was here. “Hey, uh, I wanted to thank you for the trip—”

He held up his hand. “Do not say another word, okay? Adam footed the whole bill. He just took over my reservations. I was probably in over my head with that anyway. He did me a favor.”

I nodded. “Okay, I won’t say another word. Except thank you, and that was incredibly sweet of you.”

He threw me a look of exasperation and then went to the window to look out over the lawn. “Well, at least you’ve got a nice view from up here.”

“Yeah, I’m hiding out. How did you know to find me here?”

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “Adam, how else?”

I raised my brows. “Did he send you up?”

Jordan laughed. “Hell no. He knows better than that. I came up because…well, I feel bad.”