The silence stretched, and she could hear him shift his feet. The lower tones of the dancing music trembled through the walls, muffled and sad, stripped of vigor and all high prancing notes.

Surreal, Jane thought. That’s what you call this.

“Miss Erstwhile, let me impress upon you my utmost sincerity . . . “

“There’s no need.” She sat up straighter, smoothed her hands over her skirt. “I understand completely. But I guess I just can’t. I can’t do it anymore. I did my best, and this place was really good for me, you were really good for me. But I’ve come to the end. And it’s okay.”

Something in her tone must have caught at him. He knelt beside her, taking her hand. “Are you? Are you okay?” he asked in more honest, feeling tones than she had ever heard from him.

The change startled her. Despite his austere looks, he had an openness about his expression that she could only account for in his eyes. Dark eyes, focused on her, pleading with her. But it was all just a game.

“I don’t know you,” she said softly.

He blinked twice. He looked down. “Perhaps I spoke too soon. Forgive me. We can speak of this later.” He rose to leave.

“Mr. Nobley,” she said, and he stopped. “Thank you for thinking kindly of me. I can’t accept your proposal, and I won’t ever be able to. I’m flattered by your attentions, and I have no doubt that many a fine lady will melt under such proclamations in the future.”

“But not you.” He sounded beautifully sad.

What an actor, she thought.

“No, I guess not. I’m embarrassed that I came here at all as though begging for your tormented, lovesick proposal. Thank you for giving it to me so that I could see that it’s not what I want.”

“What do you want?” His voice nearly growled with the question.

“Excuse me?”

“I am asking sincerely,” he said, though he still sounded angry. “What do you want?”

“Something real.”

He frowned. “Does this have anything to do with a certain gardener?”

“Don’t argue with me about this. It’s none of your business.”

He scowled but said, “I truly wish you every happiness, Miss Erstwhile, whom I will never call Jane.”

“Let’s toss the pretense out the window, shall we? Go ahead and call me Jane.” He seemed saddened by that invitation, and she remembered what it meant to a Regency man to call a woman by her first name. “Except it won’t imply that we’re engaged or anything. . . Never mind. I’m sorry, I feel like a fool.”

“I am the fool,” he said.

“Then here’s to fools.” Jane smiled sadly. “I should return.”

Mr. Nobley bowed. “Enjoy the ball.”

She left him in the dark library, startling herself with the suddenness of yet another ending. But she’d done it. She’d said no. To Mr. Nobley, to the idea of Mr. Darcy, to everything that held her back. She felt so light, her heels barely touched the floor.

I’m done, Carolyn, I know what I want, she thought as she approached the palpable strokes of dancing music.

A HAND TOUCHED HER SHOULDER. “Miss Erstwhile,” Martin said. Jane spun around, guilty to have just come from a marriage proposal, ecstatic at her refusal, dispirited by another ending, and surprised to discover Martin was the one person in the world she most wanted to see.

“Good evening, Theodore,” she said.

“I’m Mr. Bentley now, a man of land and status, hence the fancy garb. They’ll allow me to be gentry tonight because they need the extra bodies, but only so long as I don’t talk too much.”

His eyes flicked to a point across the room. Jane followed his glance and saw Mrs. Wattlesbrook wrapped in yards of lace and eyeing them suspiciously.

“Let’s not talk, then.” Jane pulled him into the next dance.

He stood opposite her, tall and handsome and so real there among all the halfpeople.

They didn’t talk as they paraded and turned and touched hands, wove and skipped and do-si-doed, but they smiled enough to feel silly, their eyes full of a secret joke, their hands reluctant to let go. As the dance finished, Jane noticed Mrs. Wattlesbrook making her determined way toward them.

“We should probably . . .“ Martin said.

Jane grabbed his hand and ran, fleeing to the rhythm of another dance tune, out the ballroom door and into a side corridor. Behind them, hurried boot heels echoed.

They ran through the house and out back, crunching gravel under their feet, making for the dark line of trees around the perimeter of the park. Jane hesitated before the damp grass.

“My dress,” she said.

Martin threw her over his shoulder, her legs hanging down his front. He ran. Jostled on her stomach, Jane gave out laughter that sounded like hiccups. He weaved his way around hedges and monuments, finally stopping on a dry patch of ground hidden by trees.

“Here you are, my lady,” he said, placing her back on her feet. Jane wobbled for a moment before gaining her balance.

“So, these are your lands, Mr. Bentley.”

“Why, yes. I shape the shrubs myself. Gardeners these days aren’t worth a damn.”

“I should be engaged to Mr. Nobley tonight. You know you’ve absolutely ruined this entire experience for me.

“I’m sorry, but I warned you, five minutes with me and you’ll never go back.”

“You’re right about that. I’d decided to give up on men en_tirely, but you made that impossible.”

“Listen, I’m not trying to start anything serious. I just—”

“Don’t worry.” Jane smiled innocently. “Weird intense Jane gone, new relaxed Jane just happy to see you.

“You do seem different.” He touched her arms, pulled her in closer. “I’m happy to see you too, if you’d know. I think I missed you a bit.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I’m certain I could think of something nicer.” He looked up, thinking before turning back to her again. “I’m sorry about what I said before. All the other women I’ve seen at Pembrook Park seemed to be toying with ideas of affairs while their husbands were on business trips. I couldn’t reconcile what I knew of the women who come here and what I knew of you. When I saw you that day walking with Mr. Nobley and the others, I realized you’re here because you’re not satisfied—you’re looking for something. And when I finally realized that, can you imagine how lucky I felt that out of everyone, you would choose me?”