Promise Me

 

 

The day after the slumber party, I stood by my bedroom window for a long time. Waiting.

 

Around two in the afternoon, I saw him. Jackson came around the side of the barn and slipped inside. I needed to talk to him. I forced myself to walk normal all the way through the hall, down the stairs and out the back door. I glanced around the yard to make sure no one was watching, then hurried in after him.

 

“What are you doing here?” he asked. He was sitting on a crate near the back of the barn, smoking a cigarette, and I felt the strongest wave of deja vu.

 

“Looking for you,” I said.

 

“Ah.” He slid off the top of the crate and came toward me. “This is a first, but I'll go with it.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean I've been here before,” he said.

 

I studied him. I didn't think he was talking about deja vu, but it was strange that I had just had that feeling of having been here before too.

 

“If you've been here before, then how is this a first?”

 

“It's hard to explain,” he said. “Besides, you'd probably just forget even if I told you.”

 

My stomach tightened. “What do you know about me forgetting things?”

 

He sighed and shook his head. “Nothing, Harper. It doesn't matter.”

 

“It matters to me,” I said. “Ever since I got sick, I've been having these weird moments where I feel like I'm almost remembering something that happened to me. Then, I lose it. Like I'm not sure what's real and what was a dream.”

 

That same sad look crossed his face again. “I can't help you,” he said. “It's too late.”

 

“Too late? What are you talking about?” “I'm talking about this.” He picked up my scarred hand and opened it, palm up.

 

“Your mother told me I fell and cut my hand on a teacup.”

 

He snorted. “Don't believe everything you hear.”

 

“I keep remembering this knife. There were these people chanting all around me and a woman with red eyes cut me with it. She told everyone I was the Prima.”

 

Jackson's eyes grew wide and he tilted his head to the side. “The Prima?” I nodded.

 

“Are you sure that's what she said?” “I'm not sure of anything,” I said. “So many things are fuzzy. Like you. That day in the courtyard when I came back to school. You acted like we knew each other, but I couldn't remember ever talking to you before. What does it mean, anyway?”

 

“I can't talk to you about this,” he said, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stomping on it. He started to walk toward the door, but I stepped into his path.

 

“Why not?”

 

“There are rules, Harper. I know you don't understand what's going on here, but I'm bound by an oath older than time.”

 

Deja vu again. I'd heard those words before, I was certain.

 

“There are rules I have to follow.”

 

“Whose rules?”

 

He shook his head. “I can't tell you.”

 

“But something is strange about this place. I can feel it.” I paced in front of the door. “Were you at the game last night? One of the cheerleaders broke her neck when she fell off the top of the pyramid. I heard it. But she got up and she was fine. Like nothing ever happened. But I know what I saw.”

 

Jackson ran a hand through his hair. “I wish I could help you. I tried,” he said. “But you've got a new life now, am I right?”

 

“I don't know,” I said. “Sometimes I feel happier than I've ever felt before, but then other times, it feels like everyone is lying to me.”

 

“I've gotta go.” He moved around me and pushed open the door, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

 

“Please,” I said. “What is a Prima?”

 

He looked deep into my eyes and I knew that we were connected somehow. I couldn't explain it. Slowly, he leaned down and took my head in his hands. He was going to kiss me, and in that moment, I wanted him to. I leaned forward and our lips met.

 

A flash of memory jolted through me. I was in his room and we were kissing. Everything we'd talked about and been through came back to me in a heady rush. The drawings. The room full of flames. I pulled away, gasping. Tears sprang to my eyes.

 

“What happened?” I asked. “Why couldn't I remember?”

 

“Listen to me,” he said. “You're going to forget again. Soon. It's part of the spell. But you can fight it, Harper. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were different from the other girls.”

 

His words were almost the same as what Drake had said to me. I opened my mouth to ask him what made me so different from everyone else, but he placed a finger over my lips.

 

“We don't have much time,” he said. “Do you remember the drawing? The one of you standing in a room of flames?”

 

I remembered.

 

“I think it's going to happen soon. I drew it again last night, but this time the picture was different,” he said. He ran his hand along my collarbone and fingered the sapphire pendant around my neck. “This time you were wearing your necklace. Promise me you won't take it off, okay? Promise you'll wear it every single day, no matter what.”

 

I nodded.

 

Jackson leaned down and brushed my lips lightly with his, then slid out of the barn. No matter how hard I tried to hold onto them, moments later my memories of him began to fade.