I’d never been struck before by Russell, and I realized I wasn’t so immune to his punishments after all.

Still, I didn’t regret anything.

Not even a minute later and he had turned his aggression on Cheryl. I heard her cries and I closed my eyes and covered my ears to muffle it out.

*

The first day of Carter’s suspension came after a weekend. I was walking to the bus stop early morning and found him there, sitting on the bench, looking down at his hands. While my heart did its usual squeeze, I frowned. I hadn’t spoken to him since the incident. In fact, I was purposely dodging him. It wasn’t just because of Russell.

He looked up as I neared, and immediately his flat face turned serious as he haughtily said, “You haven’t been at my window, Leah.”

I stopped beside him, not bothering to sit down even though there was enough space to fill two more people. I just shrugged and neared the bus sign, looking out into the streets.

“Why are you mad at me?” he demanded suddenly. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Why are you here?” I returned with instead. “You’re suspended from school.”

“Who says I’m going to school?”

I looked over my shoulder and at his sudden mischievous grin. “Where are you going?”

“How about you skip class and come see?”

“I don’t want to.”

He stood up and walked to me. I looked back at the street and hoped to see a bus come bounding down it ASAP. I felt his front against my back, and I swallowed hard. It wasn’t fair he could make me feel like this. I’d turn it off if I could. I wished I could look at him like I looked at all the other guys.

“What is it?” he asked, worriedly. “Tell me, Leah. Please.”

I moved away from him, trying to gain distance so I could think straight. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” he pressed. “Just tell me what the hell is wrong! You haven’t said a word to me since I fucking tore that dick to pieces for you –”

“I never asked you to do that!” I cut in angrily, facing him.

His face fell. “What the hell? Are you angry I helped you?”

“You didn’t help me!”

“Like hell I didn’t! He was threatening your life –”

“I’ve been threatened with a lot worse than my life, Carter, and I’ve managed just fine!”

His nose flared, and his mouth twisted as he retorted, “Stop dealing with these pricks on your own! You’re a fucking girl, and these are guys trying to bring you down!”

“Then let them try. I’m tough. I can handle it on my own, and I had without you bursting into the scene and getting suspended for it! Now I look even weaker! Like I need help over my own issues –”

“There’s nothing wrong with needing help,” he cut in, stepping closer to me. I could feel the anger rolling off of him. “You stood up for yourself, I get it. You brought him to his knees after you grabbed at his balls, and I admire that. Really, I do, Leah, but fuck, you can’t expect that to have scared them away. They would have come at you harder later on! I’ve seen it happen. It fucking kills me when they treat you like that.” His voice broke at the end, and he looked at me with his walls down, letting me see his pain.

I blinked hard, feeling moisture in my eyes. What the hell was wrong with me? Was I seriously on the verge of tears? No, no, that couldn’t be right. Yet the lump in my throat, hard and round and impossible to swallow away, told me that I really was fighting back tears.

“I just don’t want to burden you with my crap,” I whispered, because talking louder would have given away my emotion.

“You expect me to just watch?” he whispered back in shock. “Fuck no, Leah. I’m not going to be like fucking Rome, sitting there because I was told to shut up. No way. I’m not going to watch someone I care about get bullied like that. You’ll never convince me otherwise, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

I stared at him for a long moment, taking in that look of conviction.

“You don’t have to do that,” I said, feeling a tear fall. “You really don’t, Carter.”

He moved closer to me then and wiped the tear with his thumb. His blue eyes shined with emotion as he quietly replied, “Yeah, I do.”

I took the hand he used to wipe my tear and held it tight. Whatever connection we had at that point only grew stronger. He pulled me in for a hug and I shut my eyes, face against his chest, breathing all of him in.

“It’ll be alright,” he reassured me. “I won’t let anything happen to you. They’ll all die before they set a finger on you again.”

When he pulled away, we both sat down on the bench and watched the cars go. He kept me by his side, his arm around me, comforting me.

“What happened to your cheek?” he suddenly asked.

“Nothing,” I answered, turning my face away from him so he couldn’t see the light bruise there. Under the sun, it was inescapable, I knew. I hadn’t even thought of a good enough lie for how I got it if someone had asked.

His finger wrapped around my chin, and he forced me to him. I couldn’t meet his eye, but I knew he was staring at it hard.

“Did Russell do this to you?” he demanded.

“I back-chatted him,” I grumbled.

He clenched his jaw and let go of my face. He fisted his hands together and looked away from me. “He tell you not to see me?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to listen to him?”

“No. I’ll just need to be more careful.”

He exhaled and shook his head. “I wanna hurt him.”

“It’s fine,” I told him, grabbing hold of his arm. “It was the first time he ever touched me. I’ll be good and he won’t do it again. Don’t do anything stupid, Carter. If you do, you’ll make it worse for me.”

He didn’t reply, but he managed a stiff nod.

When the bus did finally come our way, I skipped class and spent the day with him.

*

During his two weeks of suspension, Carter would intercept me on my way to school and plead for me to skip class. I did whatever he wanted because he was my fucking hero and I loved him like crazy.

We usually stopped by the gas station on the way to the bus stop and buy some ice cream and energy drinks. Then we’d catch a couple buses to Castle Fun Park, an amusement park that was usually packed with kids over the weekend. The arcade was mostly dead during the schooldays, and so he bought fifteen dollar cards and we played the cheap 60 cent  retro games until we ran out of money.