The world always went on.

So yeah, I pleaded, and giving a man that was also horny that power to choose must have been absolute agony for him. It was totally irresponsible of me. I would learn to appreciate it later on, but when he moved off of me yet again, I felt nothing short of resentment.

To me it felt like he had rejected me. Like once again I was thrown to the wayside. How could he turn me down? Didn’t he care how foolish and humiliated I’d feel?

All those unnecessary emotions swirled inside of me like a tornado, shattering my hope into a million little pieces.

“No,” he simply said softly, giving my ear a kiss. “I’m not going to take you like this, Angel.”

I didn’t respond for some time. I stiffened when he pulled me closer against his side, spooning me again, but eventually his warmth seeped into my bones and I relaxed to the feel of him. He continued kissing me on the side of my face, waiting for me to turn my head to him. It took me a few moments to let go of my anger. I turned my face to him and kissed him. The kiss was languid and deep. It worsened the need between my legs, and I might have cried if I didn’t feel his hand inching below my shirt.

I was flushed and shaking, and in my mind I kept pleading for him to do something to me. Anything. I just wanted that ache gone.

His hand skirted along my stomach and toward the edge of my pants. He unbuttoned them and slid his hand inside. My eyes shut tighter, my mouth opened, barely kissing him now as he distracted me with the pressure of his hand where I needed him the most.

“This will make it better, yeah?” he whispered against my mouth.

I nodded.

He gently rubbed me, gliding his fingers skilfully along my clit. I bucked into him, my ass pressing against his jeans. He was rock hard and it didn’t get any better as I continued to press into him. He cursed, dropping his head between my neck and shoulder. I felt his hot breaths and random licks.

The feeling was so intense, and he prolonged my release, fingering me like a goddamn master. I didn’t think someone could give me this kind of pleasure without knowing my body first. But he seemed to excel at anything when it came to those dexterous hands.

He sucked my neck hard and sped up the movements, stroking my wet folds before teasingly pressing into me with his finger. I moaned, completely uncaring of how loud I was as the feeling tore through my being, so unbelievably strong and hard, I was shaking uncontrollably, moving my hips against him as I rode it out.

My ears were ringing, my body sagged, and my vision was slightly spotty. I blinked a few times, barely registering his feather-light kisses against my cheek before he removed his hand and wrapped his arm around me. Aside from the rain still blasting against the car, the silence within was heavy. I felt its weight and wondered what to say to dispel it.

“Thank you,” I weakly muttered, feeling a little embarrassed by how desperate I was for him several moments ago. God, had I no shame?

“For what, Leah?” he asked softly.

“For…” For what really? “For… fingering me, I guess.” And not deciding to stick your dick inside me without protection, because that would have been stupid.

I felt his chest vibrate lightly with laughter. “Anytime.”

I smiled a little. My cheeks were crimson, and I was still on a high after that massive wave of pleasure. Jesus, I didn’t think it could feel that good coming from somebody else.

“No one’s ever done that to you, right?” he then asked curiously. He tried to play it off like it was casual conversation, but I knew he really needed to know.

“No,” I answered.

“Good.”

“Hopefully it’s just you from now on,” I added, hinting that I truly wanted more.

I felt him nod and mutter a weak, “Yeah,” before he went quiet altogether.

I didn’t like the quiet response in him, and I suddenly questioned if we were going to go back to before. Like my first kiss, something that had played in my mind every spare moment.

Did Carter care for me like I did for him? Was this just temporary? I couldn’t handle the thought, so I cast it aside and closed my eyes. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very successful.

You’re not going to win this. A tiny voice in me whispered with heartbreaking clarity. You can’t win a game of unrequited love.

Carter

Black and white
The surroundings of our first real kiss, that night

runs through my memory like a stream.

And fuck, I’d wrap you up if I could,
lay your gentle heart in my hand
and give you all you deserve.

Black and white,

The contrast in us like day and night
you were the picture of purity; the light in my dark.

And fuck, I’d wrap you up if I could,

lay your gentle heart in my hand

and give you all you deserve.

*

Wanting a little more.

Like a fucking hungry puppy.            

I was a fucking idiot.

Unprepared. Uncaring.

I knew, deep down, where this was going to lead.

That was the third strike against me.

Nine

Well, this was awkward.

We were all sitting in the impressive dining room that belonged to the Myers family.

Carter and Rome were on the verge of fighting, Rome’s parents were staring at me like I was some stray cat in need of shelter, while simultaneously glaring at Carter like he was a fly in need of swatting, and I was just sitting there trying to buy their welcome, with the sad look of a recently homeless eighteen year old girl.

Maybe turning to Rome wasn’t such a good idea. I mean, the tension was almost unbearable. He and Carter never met eye to eye; it was more eye for an eye if anything when it came to them. I didn’t get the hatred. Maybe it was just a guy thing. Rome was almost as big as Carter, so perhaps one needed to out-alpha the other or something.

I started this awesomely painful situation off with a plea. “We were just hoping for a place to crash for a couple days.”

Blank stares.

“Or a day even, if a couple days isn’t possible.”

More blank stares.

“Hell, just a few hours would do.”

Christ, being a beggar was hard stuff.

Rome’s mother, Marlena Myers, finally broke with emotion. She smiled kindly at me, easing me immediately with her warmth. “Oh, Leah, I can’t believe you’ve been kicked out. Of course you can stay.”