A bit of a following? He was being way too humble. They already had a following, and it was definitely not a bit.

“This is great,” I told him sincerely. “You guys are going to go places. I just know it. With this video out and getting all this attention, you don’t know who’s going to come knocking.”

He nodded. “Hopefully, anyway.”

I replayed the video and watched it again, all the while Rome was staring at me with concern, no doubt sensing something was wrong. His warm hand grabbed at my own.

“It’s Carter, isn’t it?” he asked me quietly. “Do you want me to fuck him up? I’ll bust his eye or something. He can still sing if he’s blind.”

I laughed lightly and shook my head. “Nah, don’t hurt him. This is my doing, Rome. I want more than… what he’s offering, and he’s not capable of offering it. Which is fine. The world will keep turning. I’ve come to realize I’ve been living for years in this Carter-induced haze, and there’s more to life than obsessing over a guy. I’ll be fine. Really.”

“You know he’s messed up over his past, and once he’s over it, he’s going to realize he pushed the best thing away from him.” He frowned in contemplation as he spoke. “He probably never told you this, but he jumped me once and told me never to cross the line with you. That time, some part of me always thought we’d be together. I didn’t think he was a threat, not until he actually fucking punched me.” He chuckled lightly and shook his head. “So there you go. A guy who doesn’t want to be more than friends with you warded me away for wanting more with you.”

I stared at him in stunned silence. My jaw literally dropped. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve got some pride, you know.”

“He punched you, Rome!”

“Honestly, Leah, that guy has such an itch for violence, are you really all that surprised?”

No. Carter had a problem with violence, so no surprise there. I scowled at Rome, though. I was pissed for just learning about this.

“Don’t you fucking dare tell him I told you,” Rome added, solemnly. “The last thing I need is to ruin the peace we’ve got going if he thinks I’m rubbing more drama in your face.”

“Don’t worry,” I assured him. “I won’t say a word. It’s forgotten.” Which was a shame. I’d have loved to know why Carter did that. Maybe it was just that he viewed Rome as competition for my attention at the time. It seemed likely.

“By the way,” Rome said, nudging my knee, “I’m glad I didn’t try and pursue you, anyway. I wouldn’t have had the fucking maturity to go through with it, and I might have ruined a good friendship.”

I nodded in understanding. I was glad he didn’t, either. I never looked at him more than a friend.

With a long sigh, I returned the phone to him. “Anyway, I’m not going to rain on your parade with my sob stories, okay? Let’s move on from all that. You need to celebrate your amazing success. That video there has two million freaking views! That is incredible!”

I distracted him well. He nodded heartily and dived into a conversation, telling me the sky was the limit, and I think he was referring to me as well.

Even if he wasn’t, I was taking it on board.

*

That evening, I texted Melanie about what had happened. I needed to get it off my chest somehow, and since I didn’t want to take it to Rome in fear of him turning against Carter and putting a wedge in the band, she was all I had left.

Mel: If he doesn’t want more, then he’s a fool.

Me: Or maybe I’ve been the fool this entire time. He was explicit about not wanting a relationship.

Mel: Men are stupid. He’s actually being mopey right now, cursing at Rome because he almost tripped over his drum sticks. How do you trip over drum sticks? :/

Me: Where are u?

Mel: Watching them practice. Jared invited me along since I had nothing to do this afternoon. They’re going to the club tonight to celebrate the video. Jared’s also going through the emails he’s been getting over it, and apparently there’s some booking agents vying for their attention. This could be insane.

Me: I know.

Mel: Come out with us!

Me: I’ll think about it.

I set the phone down and later joined Marlena and Harold for dinner. She seemed to sense my confliction, and she didn’t ask about it. Instead, she just smiled warmly at me and touched me softly on the shoulder.

Harold, ever the oblivious one, was complaining to us about Rome deciding to postpone Uni in order to venture out on the band. He seemed a bit haughty about it, but I admired that he let Rome decide for himself what he wanted. I wished I had parents like them.

“Focus on your education,” he told me then. “Independency is a woman’s strongest weapon. Understand, Leah?”

I nodded. “I understand.”

He seemed pleased by that and nodded back.

He was right. Being independent was important, but not just in education or employment, but everything life had to offer in general. I didn’t want my happiness to be dependent on the people I surrounded myself with. I wanted it to be dependent on me.

I just wasn’t entirely sure how I was going to get there.

Eighteen

I didn’t go out clubbing with the boys to celebrate their viral success. Instead, I stayed at home and went over my first semester school schedule. I was going to have my head in the books for four years. I wasn’t sure I was smart enough for this. How was I going to cope with yet another change in my life? And juggling a job on top of that? I was scared.

I could only hope it was going to be worth it. I was going to end up with a shitload of student debt stacked to the roof, and if I didn’t get a freaking job outside of waitressing after this bachelor’s degree, I probably might strangle a few teachers.

My cell phone buzzed just then. I picked it up and swiped the screen, expecting Melanie to fill me in on updates about Carter. Apparently all he was interested in doing was drinking and being a pessimist. That was alright. I sort of liked hearing it.

My heart skipped a beat when I realized it wasn’t from her.

Carter: You weren’t serious. I know it.

I stared at the message for a little while, not knowing how I was going to respond. My chest ached just a little, and I was close to crumbling. But another look at my school paper and I knew I had to be strong.