“She’s leaving,” Dax leaned over and told me.

“I don’t care. Fuck her.”

“Yeah, right.” He considered me, his gray eyes worried. “You need to get your head straight before the fight with Yeti.”

I turned my head to see her walk away and, fuck , part of me wanted to run after her.

And tell her what?

Was I ready to put myself out there again for someone with commitment issues?

Lorna’s heavily made-up eyes slid over me suggestively. “You want to get out of here, babe?”

I tipped up my beer and took a good long swig. “What’ve you got in mind?”

She licked red lips, her eyes gleaming with seduction as she pushed her tits in my face. I stared down at the creamy globes. I could have those in my hand tonight. “Whatever it takes to make you happy, Declan.”

Make me happy?

Nothing.

You are not to think about Elizabeth again , I told myself.

I scooted in closer to her, the scent of her perfume clogging up my nose. I toyed with a strand of her hair and gave her a broad smile. She leaned into the crook of my arms and kissed my neck, her mouth hot as she nipped down the column of my throat.

She slid her hands between my thighs and pushed down on my cock through my jeans. It didn’t even twitch.

Dax slapped his hand on my shoulder. “Let’s go, bro.”

I blinked up at him, and the room spun. I waited for the pleasant buzz of beer to kick in, but all I got was an empty feeling in my gut.

He sighed. “Come on, let’s get you out of here before you do something you’ll regret.”

Lorna pouted. “But the night’s just getting started—”

I stood up with Dax’s help.

“Sorry, love. It’s not in the cards tonight,” he told her.

He leaned me against him and we made our way out the door of the bar. We stumbled toward his beamer, one big dude holding up another one.

“I love you, you know that, right?” I murmured.

He huffed, tugging me along. “Yeah, man. Me too. Now get in the bloody car.”

“Wait.” My eyes searched the carpark, hoping she was still there. “She’s gone,” I said.

He sighed and opened the door for me. “You got it bad, bro. I’m sorry it’s not working out.”

“Yeah.” The first woman I’d ever loved, and she didn’t want me.

I slid into the passenger side, exhaled heavily, and then promptly threw up in his car.

A FEW HOURS later, I felt sober. Mostly. Maybe the puking had helped.

I tried to go to bed, but I couldn’t sleep, so I got up and took a hot shower. Water dripped down as I palmed my cock, thinking about Elizabeth under me, her soft skin against mine.

I got out and dressed in a pair of silver gym shorts and padded out to the balcony.

My eyes went to her darkened flat. Of course, she was asleep. Right? It was three in the morning.

I didn’t care.

I took a running leap and jumped the distance, sticking the landing with a soft thud. Her glass door was unlocked—I had to get on her about that. But for now, I slid it open quietly and eased inside, peering around until my eyes got used to the darkness.

I came to a halt as the glare of headlights from the carpark hit me in the face.

What the hell was I doing?

I’d just waltzed in uninvited. She’d be angry if she woke up and saw me here. Right?

What if someone was with her?

Fuck! Fury rushed at me and I scrubbed my hair, my eyes devouring her form underneath the covers. Just one single form.

She rolled over, a soft sigh escaping as she settled back into her pillows.

Things—life—had been tough for me since Mum had passed, but I’d done the best job I could, trying to be the person she’d have wanted me to be. Living with my dad had shaped me into the guy I was now. Tough. Hard. But underneath, I’ve longed for the deep love between two people that Mum had always told me was out there.

I paced around her room.

But Elizabeth didn’t want those things, so why was I sneaking into her bedroom like some lad with a woody?

Say goodbye?

Maybe.

I sighed.

I had to if I wanted to keep my sanity. I had a fight to think about and she was a big distraction.

But …

Could I let her go forever?

Could I pass her in class and smile when I saw her with Blake?

Could I watch them fall in love someday?

Could I run into her years later at a park and see her playing with a toddler that wasn’t mine?

I was too proud to beg and too angry to think straight. Hell, maybe I was still sloshed.