I took a hard gulp, unable to answer with one of my usual quick quips.

“Shit,” Gage said, laughing as he shook his head.

“What?” I tried to rally. “No man can be around Lettie for more than an hour and not want kids.”

He smacked my back with his free hand and leaned against the wooden fort as Lettie took off at breakneck speed to zoom down the slide a hundred times in a row. Or at least that is what it looked like.

“She’s my world.” Gage had that faraway look in his eyes, the one that only showed up if Lettie or Bailey were in the room.

I chugged another swallow, my grip tightening around the bottle. “This family stuff,” I said, motioning with my bottle to Lettie and then toward Bailey where we could just barely see her through the kitchen window. “Is it all it’s cracked up to be?”

He shifted, pushing off the fort to stand in front of me. “Rory Jackson,” he said my name like he’d just put together a puzzle. “It finally happened.”

I rolled my eyes. “Eat shit.”

Gage laughed. “You’re in love.”

My nostrils flared as I struggled to breathe—for real this time. “What if I was?”

He shrugged. “There isn’t a better woman out there, except for my Bailey of course. And they’ve been friends for years. Paige is smart, sexy, and just about the only woman I’ve ever seen lengthen that short fuse of yours. I’m shocked it’s taken you this long to realize it.”

I snorted, finishing off my beer. He wasn’t wrong, but I couldn’t shake the cold eating away at my gut.

“What’s up?” Gage pressed me when I didn’t respond.

I shook my head, spinning the empty bottle in my hand. “I don’t want to fuck it up,” I admitted, finally looking him in the eye. He was the closest I’d ever had to a brother, and I knew he’d give it to me straight. “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this life.” I gestured to the area around us—Gage’s perfect house, with his perfect daughter, and perfect fiancé carrying yet another perfect child in her belly.

“Please, you’re amazing with Lettie.” He scoffed.

“That’s because she’s Lettie. And besides, I’m not there yet.” I shifted my weight. “Paige is unlike any woman I’ve ever been with. Add to that the insane heat her company puts on her for every little thing she does? I could easily ruin things for her. My temper…” The breath stalled in my lungs, the thought of things going south because I couldn’t control the rage that lived inside my veins had my chest tightening.

“Have you talked to her about…” Gage hesitated until he caught my eye. “You know?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. Figured I’d better wait another month or so before I drop the bomb on her. No one wants to know about an abusive childhood only a month into a new relationship.” That and I honestly didn’t want her to know I had a monster’s blood in my veins—that my father was the source for the instant fight trigger I possessed.

Gage winced but nodded. He was the only other person I’d ever told about my past, about why I was always ready to finish a fight if someone even breathed on me the wrong way. It was how I’d had to live for years under my father’s rule, and it was the only way I’d known how to live after I escaped him at sixteen. I left home and never looked back. Fuck, my mother had helped me pack. She’d believed I was the cause of his anger, that I brought it out in him instead of there being something internally wrong with him.

“Anyway,” I said, shaking out my limbs that had clenched on their own. Shit, it’d been years, and the thought of the past still had the ability to pump adrenaline through my veins as if I were five and helpless again. I may have cut all family ties, but I’d carried the need to never feel weak around with me as a constant reminder of who I’d never allow myself to be again. “I don’t want who I am to ruin who she is.”

“Can’t you ever give yourself some credit, man?” Gage took a drink of his beer. “I mean, look at you. It’s only been a month with her, and you’re playing better, on and off the ice. I’ve never seen you happier, or more with your shit together.”

I nodded. Even coach had noticed, and I couldn’t deny I liked the way my life felt with her in it—complete, hopeful, hot as hell. “Honestly, man. Do you think I stand a chance? I can’t see clearly. Paige is clouding up my mind with dreams of a future I may not deserve.” I looked him in the eye, needing to see the absolute truth from him. “Tell me to stay away from her. Tell me to stop this before I get in too deep and taint her perfect image.”

“I can’t,” he said, clamping his hand on my shoulder. “She’s too good for you, sure. But so is Bailey for me. It doesn’t matter. You love her?” He eyed me, needing the confirmation.

“Fuck, yeah man. I love her.” I nearly choked on the sweet words, but they were there, and once spoken, hardened into the kind of foundation I could build on with Paige. A real life. A real family. A real future.

He nodded, like that was the answer to every doubt I had. “Good. Remember that. Whenever you feel yourself slipping into that old punch first ask questions later feeling—off the ice at least—remember that. Use her to put a lock on that lifestyle for good. You’ll be better off for it, happier too.”

I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and pressed my lips together as I smacked the arm on my shoulder. “Thanks, bro. I needed that.”

“Should we hug this shit out?” Gage laughed, reaching out to me like a giant bear going in for the bone-crushing attack.

“Hell no!” I ducked out of his would-be embrace, chuckling as Lettie opted to turn it into a game, running from her daddy the bear. She’d just saved me from sudden death when my cell buzzed in my pocket. I took a quick time out to read the text.

COACH: You have ten minutes to get to my office. I don’t give a shit where you’re at.

COACH: TEN. MINUTES.

“Ah what the fu—” I stopped myself short as I drew my eyes back up, noticing Lettie only a foot away from me as she hung off Gage’s neck like a monkey.

“What’s up?” He asked.

I scrunched my eyebrows and shrugged. “Coach. He’s pissed, but I haven’t got a clue what about.”