Olly: who says that i do

Madeline: I have to go. Sorry!

Friday, 8:34 P.M.

Olly: so how grounded are you?

Madeline: I’m not grounded. Why do you think I’m grounded?

Olly: well something made you log off in a hurry last night. i’m guessing it was your mom. trust me i know all about being grounded. and you never leave the house. i haven’t seen you outside once since we got here

Madeline: I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I’m not grounded, but I can’t leave the house.

Olly: very mysterious. are you a ghost? that’s what i thought the day we moved in and i saw you at the window. and it would be my luck that the pretty girl next door is not actually alive

Madeline: First I was a spy and now I’m a ghost!

Olly: not a ghost? a fairytale princess then. which one are you? cinderella? will you turn into a pumpkin if you leave the house?

Olly: or rapunzel? your hair’s pretty long. just let it down and i’ll climb up and rescue you

Madeline: That has always sounded impractical and painful don’t you think?

Olly: yes. so not cinderella and not rapunzel. snow white then. your evil stepmom put you under a spell so that you can’t leave the house and the world will never know how fair you are

Madeline: That’s not how the story goes. Did you know that in the original version it wasn’t an evil stepmother, it was an evil mother? Can you believe that? Also, there were no dwarves. Interesting, no?

Olly: definitely no

Madeline: I’m not a princess.

Madeline: And I don’t need rescuing.

Olly: that’s ok. i’m no prince

Madeline: You think I’m pretty?

Olly: for a fairytale ghost spy princess? definitely

Saturday, 8:01 P.M.

Olly: how come you don’t log on until after 8?

Madeline: I’m usually not alone until then.

Olly: someone’s with you all day?

Madeline: Can we please not talk about this?

Olly: curiouser and curiouser madeline whittier

Sunday, 8:22 P.M.

Olly: here’s a game. fast five favorites. book word color vice person

Olly: come on come on. type faster woman. don’t think just type

Madeline: Sheesh. The Little Prince. Uxorious. Aquamarine. I don’t have any vices. My mom.

Olly: everyone’s got vices

Madeline: Not me. Why? How many do you have?

Olly: enough to choose a favorite one

Madeline: Ok, your turn.

Olly: same list?

Madeline: Yes

Olly: lord of the flies, macabre, black, stealing silverware, my sister

Madeline: Ugh. Lord of the Flies? I don’t think we can be friends anymore. That book is awful.

Olly: what’s so awful about it?

Madeline: Everything!

Olly: you just don’t like it because it’s true

Madeline: What’s true? Left to our own devices we would kill each other?

Olly: yes

Madeline: Do you really believe that?

Olly: yes

Madeline: Well, I don’t. I definitely don’t.

Madeline: Do you really steal silverware?

Olly: you should see my spoon collection

Monday, 8:07 P.M.

Olly: what’d you do to get so grounded?

Madeline: I’m not grounded and I don’t want to talk about this.

Olly: does it involve a guy?

Olly: are you knocked up? do you have a boyfriend?

Madeline: Oh my god, you’re insane! I’m not pregnant and I don’t have a boyfriend! What kind of girl do you think I am?

Olly: a mysterious one

Madeline: Have you spent all day thinking that I was pregnant?

Madeline: Have you?

Olly: it crossed my mind once or twice or fifteen times

Madeline: Unbelievable.

Olly: don’t you want to know if i have a girlfriend?

Madeline: No.

Tuesday, 8:18 P.M.

Madeline: Hi.

Olly: hey

Madeline: I didn’t know if you’d log on tonight. Are you OK?

Olly: fine

Madeline: What happened? Why was he so angry?

Olly: i don’t know what you’re talking about

Madeline: Your dad, Olly. Why was he so angry?

Olly: you’ve got your secrets. i’ve got mine

Madeline: OK.

Olly: ok

Wednesday, 3:31 A.M.

Olly: couldn’t sleep?

Madeline: No.

Olly: me too. fast five favorites movie food body-part class

Madeline: That’s only four. Besides, it’s too late for this. I can’t think.

Olly: waiting

Madeline: Pride and Prejudice—the BBC version, toast, hands, architecture.

Olly: jesus. is there a girl on this planet who doesn’t love mr. darcy

Madeline: All girls love Mr. Darcy?

Olly: are you kidding? even my sister loves darcy and she doesn’t love anybody.

Madeline: She must love somebody. I’m sure she loves you.

Olly: what’s so great about darcy?

Madeline: That is not a serious question.

Olly: he’s a snob

Madeline: But he overcomes it and eventually realizes that character matters more than class! He’s a man open to learning life’s lessons! Also, he’s completely gorgeous and noble and dark and brooding and poetic. Did I mention gorgeous? Also, he loves Elizabeth beyond all reason.

Olly: huh

Madeline: Yeah.

Olly: my turn?

Madeline: Proceed.

Olly: Godzilla, toast, eyes, math. wait, is the body part your favorite on yourself or on someone else?

Madeline: I don’t know! It’s your list.