I kicked off the heels that were pinching my toes and sat down in my sitting room in the dark.

I couldn’t believe Marco had been living in Edinburgh all this time. All this time…

The pain I’d shoved deep down inside me all those years ago came back with a vengeance. Tears burned in my eyes and in my throat as I remembered that night.

The night it all changed…

Walking into the flat I knew I shouldn’t be here. It was cloudy with smoke and the thick scent of marijuana. There wasn’t much furniture, and what was there was dingy and old. Not that I could see much of any of it, since the flat was packed wall to wall with people.

It was the start of our final year at school and Sadie wanted this year to be the best. How that translated into crashing some loser’s party on India Place, I didn’t know. As I followed her through the crowds, I slapped at hands that touched my h*ps and patted my arse. Great.

“I see Dave!” Sadie shouted over her shoulder to me. Dave was the reason she’d dragged me to the party with her. He was a few years older and she had a crush on him. “I’ll be right back.”

Before I could say anything she’d disappeared and I was left standing in the doorway of the living room. I felt the vibrations from the music speaker thrum unpleasantly in my chest. Where were the neighbor complaints? The police?

I was shoved somewhat forcefully into the room as more people streamed in, and while I tried to squeeze back into the crowds on the outskirts, my eyes caught sight of three lines of white powder on the glass coffee table.

I stared wide-eyed as a girl I didn’t know snorted a line.

Fuck, I needed to get out of there.

I turned to flee, only to slam up against someone’s chest.

My eyes rose to meet unfamiliar dark ones. The guy’s eyes swept over me, glittering with sexual intent, and just like that I found myself pinned between the wall and him.

“I’ve never seen you before,” he said loudly into my ear, his mouth touching it.

I ducked my head, shivering in revulsion at the feel of his lips on my skin. “I’m just leaving,” I yelled, attempting to duck under his arm.

He stopped me and I closed my eyes, trying not to panic. We were in a room filled with people. It wasn’t like he could do anything. Still, I cursed myself for borrowing Sadie’s figure-hugging blue dress – this was not the kind of attention I’d wanted when I’d chosen to wear it.

“Aw, stay a bit.” He grinned, pressing in closer. “Get tae know me.”

“I don’t want to know you. I want to leave. Move.”

“That’s no very nice.” He bit his lip in a way I assumed he thought women found sexy. He assumed wrong. “You look nice. Play nice.”

I glared at him. “Get. Off. Me.”

Before he could reply, a large fist gripped his shirt and he was suddenly pushed away. He tripped over a girl’s foot and crashed to the floor. My eyes went from him to the large guy beside me and a wave of relief and giddiness moved through me.

Marco scowled down at the stranger. The stranger got up without a word, his expression fearful, and disappeared into the room beyond.

Marco quickly turned on me, and my thanks and “hello” caught in my throat as he wrapped his hand around my arm and none too gently shoved me in front of him out the doorway and down the hall.

I could feel the anger emanating from him.

Confused, I stayed silent, watching him take a key out of his jeans and unlock the door at the end of the hall. He shoved me inside and followed me. He closed the door behind us and I heard the lock turn. The music was a muffled throbbing pulse beyond it.

My eyes wandered over the small space. There was a bed, a worn-out desk with an old laptop on it, and a chest of drawers.

“What are you doing here?” Marco asked gruffly, his eyebrows drawn together in annoyance as his gaze roamed over me.

Equally annoyed by his attitude, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Hello to you, too.”

I hadn’t seen Marco in weeks. After the whole Scott date fiasco, with the help of Jo and Liv I managed to ambush Marco in D’Alessandro’s again and got him to agree to hang out with me. We did, but the tension between us had intensified somehow, and he began to make excuses not to see me.

I missed him all the time.

Hiding my hurt, I looked around the room. “Do you live here?”

“Like you didn’t know that.”

Stung, I gave a bitter snort of laughter. “Contrary to what you might think, I know when I’m not wanted. I didn’t know you lived here. How could I? I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

I watched his eyes soften. “Sorry. That was a shit thing to say.”

“Why do you live here?” I couldn’t keep the distaste out of my expression.

Marco grimaced and sank down onto the edge of his bed. “I had to get my own place, but I don’t exactly have a lot of money. My friend knows the guy who owns this place. The rent is cheap. My roommate, however, isn’t worth it.” He gestured to the door and everything that was going on beyond it. “I’ll be moving out as soon as possible.” His eyes narrowed on me. “Doesn’t answer the question of why the hell you of all people are at a place like this?”

“Me of all people? I’m at a party, Marco. I’ve been known to do that sometimes.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Not this kind of party. Hannah, you need to go. You can’t be here.”

“I came with Sadie.”

“Of course you did.” Marco wasn’t a big fan of Sadie. “We’ll find her and go.”

“Or…” I took a step toward him and noted his eyes lowered, moving over my legs before he could stop them. “We could stay. Hang out. We haven’t done that in a while.”

His jaw clenched. “Hannah, just leave.”

I had weeks of being pissed off to fuel my anger. “Fine! You stay here and I’ll go back to the party.”

“Don’t you dare.” He stood up abruptly.

“Or what?” I taunted him. “Are you going to throw me out? Just like you’re throwing me out of your life?”

“You don’t belong here!” he yelled, taking me aback.

I flinched but stood my ground. “If you’re here, I’m here!”

Marco seemed stumped by that.

He hung his head, staring at the floor.

“I miss talking to you,” I whispered sadly.

His eyes flicked to me and he couldn’t hide the remorse and tenderness in them. I almost closed mine in relief.

“How have you been?” he asked gruffly.

I shrugged. “Fine, I guess. School is good. I got an unconditional offer from Edinburgh University.”

Marco smiled a little. “That’s awesome. I’m proud of you.”

I smiled back, feeling warmth course through me at his praise. I took another step toward him. “How’s work?”

“It’s fine. I still work shifts at the restaurant.”

I’d told him months ago how surprised I was to discover he was working for his uncle. I asked him why he’d hid it from me. He said it was a shit situation and not worth talking about.

“You’ve haven’t broken away from them?”

He shook his head. “They adopted me so I could live in the UK. I owe them for getting me out of a bad situation in Chicago. I owe my aunt. She’s been good to me.”

“But you’re not living there anymore?”

He looked up at me, his expression solemn. “I worry what I might end up doing if I stayed there. I had to leave.”

“Marco,” I breathed, aching for him and wishing I could just wrap my arms around him.

“I don’t want your sympathy. I never have,” he snapped.

“Oh, get over yourself, you big baby. I’m allowed to be upset for you. It comes with the territory of caring about you.”

He grunted. “Just say it how you feel it, Hannah.”

As our eyes clashed the air felt suddenly electric between us. “Are you sure you mean that?”

He knew where I was leading. He shook his head. “Don’t.”

“Why?” I asked softly, trying to fight my frustration and failing. “You know I care about you, and you know… you know I want to be with you. You can’t keep avoiding that.” I sucked in a breath. “Why did you react the way you did to seeing me with Scott? Why did you say what you said to me in Douglas Gardens all those months ago? In fact, why have you looked out for me all these years if you didn’t feel the same way back?”

He squeezed his eyes shut tight, pinching the bridge of his nose. With a groan, he hung his head.

I almost laughed. “That’s not an answer.”

“Hannah” – he sighed, still not meeting my eyes – “I looked out for you because you’re a good girl and I didn’t want scum like Jenks touching you. I said what I said in the gardens that night because I meant it. Because you’re important to me. You’re my friend and I don’t have a lot of those. As for Scott…” He shook his head. “Fuck knows.”

I moved toward him, my pulse throbbing in my neck. “I think you know.”

His eyes blazed. “It’s not what you think.”

I closed the distance between us, my body brushing his as I tilted my head back to look into his face. He didn’t step back. I took that as a good sign. “It’s exactly what I think.”

The muscle in his jaw ticked and something powerful and perhaps dangerous emanated from him. “You need to leave.”

“Don’t.”

“Hannah, leave now.”

“Marco —”

“Hannah, leave!” he growled, his body heat burning me.

I flinched, rejection and anger molten within me. “You are such a coward!”

“You are such a pain in my ass!” he yelled back.

“Fine! I’ll go out there and be a pain in someone else’s arse!” My breathing felt out of control. I felt out of control. “I don’t need this. There are guys out there who actually want to kiss and touch me.” I swung around on that grand, arrogant statement, intent on storming out of the room.

Instead Marco’s viselike grip tightened around my upper arm and I was suddenly hauled back, my body crashing flush against his. I didn’t even have a second to compute what was happening before his hard mouth was on mine.

I melted instantly into his kiss, relieved and lustful, my hands relaxing on his strong chest, my body leaning into his while my lips parted to let him devour me. The kiss was rough, desperate, and turned me on in a way I’d had no idea a kiss could. I loved the rich taste of him, the erotic feel of his tongue against mine, and the fact that I wasn’t just feeling his mouth on mine; I was feeling his strength all around me. His arms were steel bands holding me tight, his hands clenched the fabric at the back of my dress. I slid my hands up around his neck as his kiss slowed but deepened, and I thrilled at the feel of my br**sts pressing against his muscled chest. I could smell him, taste him, feel his hot skin. He was everywhere, everything. It was sensational.

I didn’t know how long we stood there kissing. It felt like forever. My mouth was swollen, and my body was screaming for more. In a bid for more I ran my hands down his chest, around his waist and then under his shirt, groaning into his mouth at the sensation of his smooth, hot skin beneath my touch.

Abruptly, I was pushed away.

Panting, Marco stared back at me as if he’d never seen me before. Shock seemed to immobilize him for a second and I was too busy trembling with unfulfilled lust to string a sentence together.

I watched as he stumbled back against his bed and sank onto the mattress. He hung his head again while he tried to catch his breath.

Knowing that he was berating himself for some stupid reason I had yet to work out, it occurred to me that if I didn’t escalate things between us now I wouldn’t get this moment back with him. So I took small steps toward him.

I stopped, my legs almost touching his knees. My hand reached for him before I could stop myself and I stroked my fingers over his close-cropped dark hair. He lowered his hands at my touch, tilting his head back to look up at me. There was a warning in his eyes, his expression taut with restraint and perhaps a little anger.

I ignored his warning. “I’ll make you a promise,” I said. “I’ll keep being your friend and I’ll never mention this again… if you can look me in the eyes after what just happened and tell me you don’t want me.”

“Hannah.” His voice was thick as his eyes began to burn again.

My breathing grew shallow. “We’ve always been honest with each other, right?”

He gave a slight shake of his head. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I can’t… I can’t tell you I don’t want you.” His eyes studied my face before moving slowly down my body, and everywhere his gaze touched I came alive.

I’d never done much more than kiss a boy, not because I wasn’t ready to explore sex, but because I didn’t want to explore sex with anyone but Marco. I’d heard Ellie, Joss, Jo, and Liv’s crappy losing-their-virginity stories and I’d promised myself that the moment I let someone truly inside me, I’d make sure that someone was someone I loved.

And I loved Marco.

I’d been in love with him since the day he rescued me when I was fourteen years old.

Excited, thrilled, I forced bravery upon myself and reached for the hem of my dress. I pulled it up slowly, revealing my body to him bit by bit until it was up over my head. I shook my hair out and dropped the dress on his floor.