Finding out everyone I trusted made it a daily practice to keep elephant-sized secrets from me wasn’t one of my better moments. I may have done a bit of property damage as a result.

In April, Alex died in a horrible accident. I was devastated and heartbroken, not to mention sporting some major injuries of my own. I thought things couldn’t get any more complicated.

I thought wrong.

Thirty days after Alex’s death my world changed again. That night I became a Shifter, Changing into a wolf under the light of the full moon.

It shouldn’t have been possible. For one thing, I’m a girl. For another, my father isn’t a Shifter. Since the ability to Change is passed from father to son, my newfound abilities were met with some not so pleasant feelings, most of which came from me.

At that moment, crouched down in Middle of Nowhere, Kansas, I welcomed the Change for the first time. It wasn’t just because I was going to get the use of my hand back thanks to the Change’s tendency to heal injuries - although that was a big, shiny gold star bonus - but I yearned to be wild and free. I was tired of being pinned in with only the crappy thoughts in my head to keep me company. Human Scout was more than ready to hand over the reins to Wolf Scout.

Maybe that’s why the Change went more quickly than ever before. Or maybe it’s just one of those things that gets better with practice. It could have been that Liam was right and the whole pulling energy out of the ground thing worked, but I didn’t want to jump to any crazy conclusions.

Once I emerged from behind the rock I found myself staring into the eyes of a gray wolf. Not just any gray wolf, my gray wolf.

Being trapped in a car with his scent for hours on end hadn’t dulled its impact on Wolf Scout. Her nose kept nuzzling into his neck, confirming he was really there. There was a period of time when Human Scout had questioned the gray wolf’s existence, but Wolf Scout never doubted. But she had never seen more than a glimpse, had never been able to actually touch him.

The part of my brain that was still human, the part that used logic instead of instinct, knew this was the same Liam who hated cheese and was completely unfamiliar with the concept of smiling. Wolf Scout didn’t care. She only knew him as the friend who had always been there for her when she was in need, as the one who came to her rescue time and time again.

Liam nipped at me, and I nipped back. Then, he was off. I caught up with him quickly, but only because he let me. We ran together, our sides rubbing against one another as we went. Eventually, Human Scout faded out completely; leaving Wolf Scout at peace with the one person on earth she trusted above all others.

Chapter 2

Before, when I was just a naive teenage girl who knew nothing of the real world where magic was possible, I paid little attention to dreams. I rarely had any and thought people who wanted to analyze them or believed they were passageways to something mystical were idiotic. That all changed once I became involved with Alex.

Although he was a Shifter and male, Alex had a few Seer abilities. While he couldn’t do the whole non-verbal, in-the-brain communication thing Seers are capable of, he could Dream Walk. He had developed the ability as a child, although it only ever showed him one thing: Me. Once we finally connected in the real world, I started participating in those dreams. For months I dreamt of a place on the lake with a rocky patch of beach shadowed by a cliff. In April, I found myself at that very spot. It was the place where Alex and I had our first date, and where we were attacked by my brother and Charlie.

It was the place where Alex died.

After that night, I continued to dream of our spot on the lake. In those dreams, Alex was there. I could see him, feel him, and taste him; he could hold me in his arms and help me sort out my plethora of problems. Those dreams kept me going when my heart was in shambles and during my incarceration by the Alpha Pack. But since my escape those beautiful dreams were gone, just like everything else in my life.

That, however, didn’t mean my nights were dreamless. I slept very little those first few weeks, but when I did I was rarely alone.

Most nights featured Jase, my step-brother, who I loved like the twin people believed him to be. Those sleep-induced mini-movies weren’t dreams so much as memories. He would stand in front of the Alphas, head held high, and testify against me. The next morning I would wake with the words, “She’s not my sister,” echoing in my ears. It would take hours for the betrayal and pain to loosen their hold on my lungs enough for me to breathe normally. On the other nights, I found myself with Travis, a now dead member of the Alpha Pack. The most disturbing of those dreams were the ones where everything seemed normal. I would be sitting in class or trolling the aisles of Wal-Mart and there he would be. He would walk towards me, his mouth curved up slightly as if to say, “Oh, hello friend.” I would try to get away, to run, but he was always just around the corner, or blocking my way.

The day after the full moon, my dream took me to a restaurant. It was the fancy kind with actual cloth table cloths and napkins. I could hear and feel other people, but I couldn’t see them. All I could see was the Texan with blue eyes and dishwater blond hair who sat across from me.

“Scout,” he said by way of greeting.

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I tried to open my mouth, but it wouldn’t budge. An attempt to get up and leave was also unsuccessful. I was trapped.

“It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you since…” A quirk of the lips. “Well, you know.”

Tears were hot against my cheeks. I wanted to sob, but none of my muscles worked.

“How does it feel to kill someone?” He leaned closer, no more false amusement on his face. His eyes were hard and accusing. “Did you like it? Did you like the feel of the gun in your hand? Did you enjoy watching me die?”

I tried to shake my head, but it still wouldn’t move.

“You did, didn’t you? You murdered me, and you liked it.” He wasn’t yelling or raging, which made it worse. The calm accusations, the absolute certainty he was right in his voice. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that I was truly sorry. That I would take it all back if I could.

When I woke it wasn’t sudden, although my heart did pound frantically in my chest. The guilt weighed heavy in my stomach and clogged up my throat.

No wonder Charlie zombied out on me, I thought. When I shot Travis it was a situation of kill or be killed. There is no doubt in my mind I did the right thing, the only thing that could be done, and yet I couldn’t shake these dreams or mend the rip in my soul that ending another life caused. How much worse had it been for Charlie who didn’t have the small comfort of knowing it was self-defense? How much worse would I feel if I thought I killed Travis in a fit of rage?