“And then?” I asked nervously.

“When I turned… suddenly hot girls wanted me, and even some hot vampires, which you know, when you’re new to this, vampires look really hot.” He scratched at his head and shifted uneasily.

“You know how we said that in the beginning, you’re hungrier than normal? Like Milo thinks he needs to eat every hour when he really doesn’t? And all your emotions are right at the top? Well… so…” He trailed off.

“No, I don’t wanna talk about this,” Jack decided, rubbing his eye and shaking his head. “It’s really not that bad. Honest. But I don’t want you to think of me like that. Cause I’m not.

“I mean, I never was. Human, I only ever had sex in relationships, and the past fourteen years I’ve barely done anything. So I don’t want to be judged on the first year or two when I was stupid and young. Okay?”

“Its scaring me more that you won’t tell me,” I said. “Is it like a thousand girls or something?”

“No, no, god, no!” Jack insisted with wide eyes. “It was like… twenty girls. I think it was like fifteen girls and six vampires. I think. I mean. I’m sorry.” His cheeks flushed with shame.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t… I don’t know.” He looked away from me and shook his head. “That’s not who I am now. That was just me coming to terms with being a vampire, and being cool and sexy in a way I never was before.”

“I see.” I swallowed. It wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t as good as I had hoped. Like under five would’ve been an acceptable number for me.

“I’m really sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I wrapped my arms tightly around myself and I couldn’t meet his gaze. “So… did you… have you like actually had relationships since you turned?”

“Kinda, once,” Jack said, looking more comfortable with this. “A couple years ago. But other than that, for the past like fourteen years I’ve been celibate. So I think that counts for something.”

“Mmm.” I refused to confirm or deny that, because I wasn’t sure. “Why did you stop?”

“Stop what?”

“You had sex with a lot of girls, and then you became celibate. Why?” I tried to concentrate on the fact that that was a long time ago, and he stopped. He wasn’t still some kind of rich playboy that just went out and hooked up with hot girls just because he could.

“It was boring. It wasn’t who I was, and it didn’t feel right,” he shrugged. “What about you? What’s your story?”

“I don’t have a story,” I said, and he laughed. “What? I don’t.”

“Really?” Jack gave me a stern look. “Cause I’m pretty sure I just picked you up the other night, and you had been making out with some guy.”

“Well, that’s it. That’s all there is to tell.”

I grimaced at the thought of it and felt even worse talking about it sober. Regardless of what our actual status was, it felt like cheating, and it was stupid and pointless. I vowed to never drink alcohol again.

“That’s the only time you’ve ever kissed a guy? I mean, other than me… or Peter.” He was dubious, and my hesitation made him nervous, but he didn’t understand that there really wasn’t anything to tell.

“No, I’ve kissed guys before,” I admitted. “But everything is exactly the same. I’d go to some party with Jane, and there’d be some guy there that I would kiss for a little bit. But it’d never be anything more than that. I’ve kissed a couple guys when I was drinking. The end.”

“Really?” He had moved on from skeptical to bewildered.

“Why is that so hard to believe?”

“I don’t know.” He settled back into the couch again, furrowing his brow. “I guess I must just be impartial.”

“What are you talking about?” I turned to face him more, gently pressing my knee into his leg as I did.

“Well…” Jack laughed nervously, but that didn’t affect how perfect it sounded, or the way it sent happy shivers down me. “Like tonight, when you walked into that room, everybody turned and stared. You’re kind of irresistible.”

“That’s different,” I said. “That’s just because of my blood.”

No sooner had the words fallen out of my mouth then a painful realization gripped me. My heart ached and the color drained from my face.

“What?” He moved closer, unsure if he should touch me and console me or if that would only make it worse.

“It’s my blood.” I bit the inside of my cheek as I worked it out in my head. “That’s it, isn’t it? That’s why you’re…”

Jack was attracted to me for the same reason Peter was, but on an entirely different level. And unlike Peter, who should feel bonded to me no matter what, Jack’s would all but disappear when I turned. My blood would stop smelling so sweet, and all my appeal would disappear.

“This is all because of the way I smell and taste and the way my stupid heart beats!”

“No!” Jack looked offended. “No! That has nothing to do with the way I feel about you!”

“I walked into a room full of gorgeous people, and they all turned to look at me, plain, ordinary me.” An awful lump swelled in my throat, making it difficult to talk. “The only thing that makes me irresistible to them, to you, is my blood.”