My heart thumped so loudly it almost hurt. A small noise came from Jax's throat. After a long silence, he found my shoulder with his arm and gave it a soft squeeze.

"I think you're incredible," he said softly, caressing my arm. "And now I wonder where our dessert is."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. My cheeks got hot with embarrassment. The darkness had made me feel like Jax was ready to open up, but it was clear there were still locked doors in his heart I couldn't reach.

I pressed my lips together together as we shared an awkward silence. Thankfully, the waiter did come with the dessert quickly, giving me time to think as we ate.

I hadn't meant to do it, but I'd finally told Jax how I felt. If those words were hard for me to say, then I knew how much harder it would be for him. Maybe I had been too fast to say it. I probably had.

But it was done, and even if Jax wouldn't tell me he loved me, he had already given me enough for the night. I knew he wanted to be with me, and if we continued to grow together eventually he would say those words.

Chapter Twelve

DOUBTS

The next day, I sat alone on the bus. A tapping noise filled the room.

My fingers flew over the keys of my laptop as I pounded out a status report to Palmer. Other than the sound of my typing, an eerie quiet blanketed the bus. I missed the usual noise of the band, but they were downtown doing a meet and greet with a possible producer for their next album.

I bit my lip and tried to concentrate, but my mind kept slipping back to Jax. Last night, I finally found the courage to talk to him about our future past the tour. Knowing that he wanted to be with me once we were back in New York filled me with a happiness that I hadn't known was possible, even if he hadn't been ready to say he loved me yet. We now had a future—and in time, maybe I would be able to unlock all the secrets of Jax's scarred heart.

I shook my head and hunched over the keyboard, willing away my distracting thoughts so I could hurry and finish my report. Crunching numbers was just one thing I had to do today, and the least important to me.

This morning, Jax had invited me to go along with him to his promo at five o'clock. He had seemed eager to hang out with me, even though he warned me that I might not have that much fun at this promo, which he called "lame."

Waves magazine planned to do a spread on up-and-coming leaders of hot bands for next month's issue, and they'd invited Jax to participate. But alone, without the rest of the band. No one liked the idea, but Reed had managed to convince everyone that this kind of free exposure couldn't be passed up. So reluctantly, Jax had agreed to do it.

I glanced at my watch. Shit.

It said 4:00. If Jax didn't hurry back soon, we'd be late. Not like that didn't happen all the time in the music business, but apparently this world famous photographer hated tardiness with a passion that bordered on the insane. If we were late, Reed informed us, this guy would cancel the whole gig, and then there would be hell to pay not only from him, but also from the rest of the bands involved.

A loud rumble came from outside, and I snapped my head up to listen. Next I heard a jarring screech. What the hell?

I ran to the window and peeked out into Reed's driveway.

To my surprise, Jax sat outside on a growling red motorcycle. He wore sunglasses, and held his phone in his hand, typing into it.

I stared at the beautiful bike. It looked smaller and more streamlined than his black Vincent Shadow. More feminine. Why would he be driving something like that?

My phone chimed. Smiling, I picked it up and read the message from Jax: Hey baby, check this out.

I hurried outside to meet him, and he revved the engine proudly as I approached. A loud roar filled my ears and I cupped my hands over them for protection. He smiled and switched it off.

"So what'd you do, trade your bike in for this?" I grinned at him. "It looks kind of girly for you."

Jax laughed, his eyes flashing. "That's good. This one's for you."

My eyes widened. This is too much, Jax. "Are you serious?"

"Just for today, that is," he said, swinging his leg over the seat and standing up. "It's a rental."

I exhaled, secretly relieved that he hadn't spent a fortune on me. Expensive presents were the last thing I wanted at a time when our relationship seemed more complicated than ever.

"So you left with the band and returned with a bike?" I asked, grinning.

Jax shrugged. "They all wanted to stay downtown. And then I had the idea to get this." He drew his brows together and frowned. "I thought that since I had to do this stupid photo shoot, we might as well have fun getting there."

My stomach twisted with excitement and a little anxiety as it dawned on me that Jax wanted me to ride this bike today.

As in, right now.

"You think I'm ready to drive alone?" I asked.

"Sure," Jax said, his voice steady. "Everyone starts somewhere."

I slowly ran my fingers down one chrome handlebar, the thought of riding again making me a little nervous. I didn't have much experience other than that one insane night.

Darrel. Ugh.

Concentrating on the bike, I shook off the pang of anxiety that always came up when I thought about Jax's dad. This bike looked like it would be fun to drive, and Jax seemed confident that I could. I did have the fundamentals down, at least.

When I looked back at Jax, I noticed his furrowed brow had been joined by a new tenseness in his jaw.

I pressed my lips together as I took in his strained expression. Was he stressed out about the promo, or was it something else?

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, my voice tinged with concern.

Jax looked up at me swiftly, and his face darkened for a brief second. Then, in a flash, the gloom was replaced by a smile that seemed less than genuine. "Nothing. But if we don't get a move on, we'll be late."

I peered into his face, but I couldn't figure out what was behind those deep, dark eyes. No matter what, though, he had a good point. Every minute we spent standing around, the probability of making it to the shoot in time dwindled.

"Okay," I said, clapping my hands once as if to say let's get going. "But I might not be able to go that fast at first, not until I get used to it."

Jax gave a short nod. "That's okay, as long as you remember that the faster you go, the easier it is to ride."

As he went to get his Shadow out of the trailer, I hopped onto my bike and ran my hands over the clutch and the throttle, trying to recall my muscle memory from the night with Darrel.

The last time I rode a bike, I had been forced into it because we needed to escape from the Reapers and get to safety. The direness of the situation didn't leave me much room to worry about riding a motorcycle for the first time. Now a wave of doubt swept over me. Would I be able to do it again?

I looked at Jax as he rolled his bike up, feeling self-doubt written all over my face. This time, the smile he gave me was real—and drop dead gorgeous.

I smiled back, feeling a surge of confidence spread through my core. If Jax believed in me, the least I could do was believe in myself. I pressed my knees against the slim, aerodynamic body of the bike, liking the way it seemed almost made for me. I took a deep breath and flexed my fingers on the handlebars. It was okay. I wanted this. I'd do my best and have a damn good time doing it, too.