“What are you doing here?” I asked, disgusted.

I hadn’t seen him in forever, and I couldn’t think of a single time when he’d seen Jimmy.

“I’m still the first person on her contact list. They called me and I came straight here.” He reached down and cupped her hand.

He looked older. The little bit of hair he did have was gone completely and there were new wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. He looked down at Jimmy and gave him his fake preacher smile.

“I was just leaving,” he said as he stood.

He walked right by us and left without saying good-bye. It hurt that he barely acknowledged my son, or me for that matter. It was amazing how easily he’d given up his family. As a mother, I couldn’t understand it. There was nothing in the world that would make me disown Jimmy—nothing.

I sat by Mom’s side. Jimmy ate some vending machine food and fell asleep in the chair on the other side of Mom’s bed. When she finally woke up, I called a nurse in and she examined her. Her blood pressure was way too high and the doctors were concerned that she might have another stroke.

The following morning, I called in to Mrs. Cooper to let her know that I wouldn’t be making it to work. I explained what had happened to my mom and she said she’d take care of it.

After running some tests, the doctor determined that Mom would have to stay in the hospital for a few weeks.

“I’m so sorry, Faith.” Mom apologized when we found out she wasn’t going to be released soon. “Who else are you going to get to watch Jimmy so you can work?”

“Mom, do not apologize to me. Don’t you worry about Jimmy. I’ll take care of everything. You just get better,” I said as I held her hand.

I was happy that Mom and I had a decent mother-daughter relationship. I hadn’t had that since I was younger and I missed it.

When I left the hospital, I sat in my car and gathered my thoughts. I had to figure out what to do with Jimmy while I went to work. Missing an entire week, or however long it took for Mom to get released, wasn’t something I could do. I wasn’t even sure Mom would be able to watch him anymore. I couldn’t take the chance of something else happening to her and Jimmy being left alone again.

I called around to daycares, but the prices were insane. I’d have to pay them half of what I made a week for him to stay there. The only way I was going to make this work was to get a second job. So the following day, while I was at one of the daycares applying for Jimmy to get a spot, I also applied for a job.

The daycare director hired me as soon as I turned in the application, and thankfully, my hours were eight to two Monday through Friday. That gave me enough time to go to the condo after the daycare and clean. Mrs. Karen, the daycare director, said it would be perfectly fine for Jimmy to stay at the daycare all day. I’d still have to pay, of course, but all worked out well.

The only thing I couldn’t get around was school. So once again, I had to drop out. I hated to do it, but Jimmy and work always came first. If I didn’t feed him and put a roof over his head, then no one else would.

From that day forward, my schedule was nuts. I worked the daycare every day from eight in the morning until two in the afternoon. From that point on, I’d go to the condo and spend the next three to four hours cleaning. Once I was done cleaning, I’d go back to the daycare, pick up Jimmy, and go home, where I’d make us dinner. After dinner was bath time followed soon after by bedtime.

I continued to study my books just in case I was able to go back to school. So once Jimmy went to sleep, I’d pull out the books and study until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Every morning it was the same routine and every day was the same. I hardly ate, I barely slept, but I worked constantly.

Luckily, I hardly saw Finn. Coming later in the day was apparently the trick. Not to mention, Blow Hole had been doing a lot of shows lately and were out of town constantly. It worked. I was too busy to be happy or unhappy about my situation.

Even after Mom came home from the hospital, I continued this way. Watching Jimmy was just too much for her. He was a rambunctious three-year-old and Mom was getting up there in age. Her health was most important, and I wanted to be sure to keep her stress levels down like the doctor had suggested.

After a few weeks of the same schedule, I could feel myself wearing down. I hardly got to see Jimmy at all since I took care of the babies and he was in a separate class at the daycare. I missed him so much it hurt. Mom was having issues with her memory and her right hand, and that was making it hard for her do to things on her own.

I spent my days working and silently cursing all the men who were major factors in my life—Finn and my father. They were doing whatever they wanted while Mom and I continued to struggle to hold it all together. Then I’d spend my nights trying to sleep and having nightmares in the moments when I did catch a brief nap.