“Leave me alone,” I say as I start to walk away. I can hear him laughing behind me and know he’ll follow me all the way back to the apartment. After walking in silence for a few minutes he says, “You’re pretty drunk, aren’t you?”

I whirl around, which is a big mistake with this much booze sloshing around in my stomach, and almost fall off the sidewalk. Sam quickly grabs my arm, halting my progress. “Thanks for stating the obvious,” I slur. I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t feel nearly this drunk when I was throwing them back in the bar. It’s as if the fresh air has caused the bourbon to go straight to my head. Hell, if Sam weren’t here, I would probably be in a ditch somewhere or worse yet…at Bartender Girl’s mercy. “Why am I so fucking drunk?” I ask myself, but Sam answers anyway.

“I believe because you drank a large amount of liquor in a small amount of time. Just a guess…”

“You know, I hate you sometimes,” I snap as I turn to wobble on. Where in the hell is my apartment? I feel like I’ve been walking around for hours. As I turn another corner, Sam pulls my arm in a different direction.

“We’ve already walked in this circle three times. Wouldn’t you like to actually go home now?” he asks dryly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I try to stare him down but keep blinking as my eyes blur. “Why didn’t you stop me? I’m dying here, if you haven’t noticed.”

“I was doing it for Lia,” he says from behind me. “I thought the air might help sober you up some, but I don’t think it’s working. We need to move on to just letting you pass out in the bed.”

I feel a wave of emotion hit me at the mention of Lia’s name. What if she’s pregnant? Wasn’t she telling me before I stomped out that she could still get rid of the baby? I try to recall our exact conversation, but the words are fuzzy and truthfully, after her first few words, I heard nothing in my head but pregnant. “I have to talk to her; I have to see her…now.” I pick up my pace, finally recognizing my building in the distance.

Behind me, I hear Sam say, “Slow down, you’re going to bust your…” Just as I trip over a fucking flowerpot in front of the building and go sprawling on my ass. “Dammit, Luc, I told you.” He huffs to a stop next to me with his hands on his hips. He shakes his head in resignation and extends a hand down to me. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Only my pride,” I mumble as I get to my feet. In truth, the jarring and unexpected tumble hurt like hell. I’m too old to be falling down drunk; that much is perfectly clear to me. Thankfully, Sam has my door and elevator codes, so I let him handle it. I feel the slight urge to puke as the elevator rises to the top floor. I bolt from the small space as it stops. Sam opens the front door and motions me in.

“Do you need anything else tonight, Luc?” he asks, still looking far too amused at my expense. Maybe I would have been better off in a ditch somewhere, after all. At least then, I wouldn’t know the person laughing at me.

“No, thanks for the help,” I say as I close the door. Fucking good riddance. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen so many of Sam’s teeth. I’ve never hated a smile that much.

I walk slowly toward the bedroom, wondering what I’ll say to Lia, when I notice the light on in the living room. I turn that way and find her huddled in the corner of the couch, sound asleep. She’s curled up tight, as if cold…or upset. She looks impossibly young and beautiful in simple yoga pants and a T-shirt. Lia is a natural beauty. She looks gorgeous makeup-free with her hair in a simple ponytail. She needs no artificial enhancers.

My heart almost pounds out of my chest as I think of her carrying my child. I’m fucking terrified at the idea but also oddly fascinated. I spent most of the time Cassie was pregnant trying to talk her off one ledge or another. She freaked out when she found out she was pregnant and immediately wanted an abortion. One of the reasons I proposed to her was to try to settle her down. She was so convinced the baby was a mistake and it would ruin her life. In hindsight, maybe she knew more than I did. I couldn’t stand the thought of her aborting my child, so I did my best each day to assure her that I loved her and everything would be wonderful once the baby was born. She just had to hold on for nine months and then I would do everything for her and the baby.

Her doctor had taken her off the bi-polar medication that she’d been taking for years. That was tricky for a month, but she seemed to return to her normal self, which while not pleasant was at least predictable. I should have known when her usual threats stopped and she instead seemed almost blissfully peaceful that something was wrong. Maybe it lulled me into a false sense of security, and I wasn’t as observant as I should have been.

Lia stirs, her eyes blinking open. She gasps as she sees me standing there, looking panicked for a moment before seeming to recognize me. “I’m sorry for frightening you, baby,” I say as I move to her and drop to my knees on the floor in front of the couch. We stare at each other for a long moment. When her nose wrinkles slightly, I can tell she smells the alcohol on me.

“Are you all right?” she asks quietly.

Instead of answering her question, I lean closer to her body and place my head gently on her flat stomach. I feel her breath catch as she freezes. Finally, she relaxes under me and her hand goes to my head, digging into my hair. I moan as she strokes my scalp, giving me comfort even though I’ve been an ass to her tonight. “I’m sorry,” I say, giving her the apology she deserves. I don’t want her to feel as if she needs to keep things from me because I’ll freak out; she doesn’t deserve that from me.

Her hand tightens in my hair, and I wince at the sting but remain silent. “When you left tonight, I was surprised by your reaction. I mean, I know neither of us is ready for a baby, but I wasn’t expecting you to be that upset. I’ll be honest and say that none of this has really seemed real to me until you slammed out the door.”

“Lia…” I begin, wanting to comfort her.

“No, Luc, let me finish please.” I remain quiet while she gathers her thoughts. “We’re probably needlessly upsetting ourselves about something that will not even happen, but it made me think.” Her hand begins moving in my hair once again, as if trying to soothe me as she says, “Luc, I can’t take that pill. This might sound crazy, but all I keep thinking is if I do, then how am I any better than my mother is? According to what I read on the internet, it’s not terminating a pregnancy because one doesn’t even exist at that point. It’s just stopping it from happening.” I grasp her leg, feeling my hand shaking as I listen to her emotional plea for me to understand. She has no idea that I not only understand her turmoil but I feel, it as well. “But…what if they’re wrong? I…I just can’t take that chance, Luc,” she says on a sob. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry because I know you don’t want this.”