I gave a closed-mouth smile before my stupid thoughts came out and ruined what progress she’d made. “Mom, are you . . . you know, okay?”

“Everything hurts,” she whispered, sounding like Gus. She tore her eyes from the calendar with a shake of her head. “Do you want to go back to Boulder? I don’t want to keep you here, from your friends and Riley.”

“Riley isn’t exactly missing me.”

“Oh, Ember. What happened?”

“Turns out he doesn’t do long distance well.” I put my hand up to ward her off when she stepped toward me. I didn’t want sympathy from her, not when she needed all the energy she had to keep herself together. “Yeah, so I live with Sam, and the number is on the fridge next to my class schedule. Just call and I’ll be here.”

“Ember, I’m sorry you’ve lost so much.”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?”

“Right. Whatever doesn’t kill you.” She went back to staring at the calendar.

Chapter Nine

I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder and snatched my coffee off the roof of my car. Thank God there was a Starbucks between the apartment and school, or I might never have gotten going this morning.

Arranging the apartment had been more physically exhausting than I expected, but it turned out perfectly. It was incredibly freeing to have a place off campus with no rules, regulations, or random room checks. Plus, Sam as a roommate was an added bonus. For every detail that had changed about us in the last eighteen months, there were at least two that hadn’t.

I pulled out my schedule as I walked into the building, checked the room number, and slid inside the class without spilling my coffee all over my white sweater. Score.

A quick scan of the room showed a few open seats in the front row. I set my coffee on the desktop and slid my bag off my shoulder to take out my books and pens. I couldn’t wait to fill the pages of the empty spiral notebook. History got me in the same way some girls dug nail polish or shoes. I’d pegged my major early.

I shook my head at the obnoxious giggles from the back of the room. A leggy brunette perched on a desk in front of a guy, and if he couldn’t see past the facade dripping off her, then he deserved whatever he got out of that one. She threw her head back in laughter.

Shit. That guy was Josh.

His eyes widened as they met mine, and that grin stole my breath. I ripped my gaze away and took my seat, concentrating on the white board. Stupid freaking hormones. Did he really have to look that good at 8:30 in the morning? Who was I kidding? The guy was pretty much sex personified twenty-four hours of the day. I couldn’t blame the girl for sitting on his desk. Hell, she showed restraint. I’d have been in his damn lap.

I didn’t need to look over to know that he had taken the empty seat next to me. Keep your eyes forward. I would not look over. I would not get lost in those brown eyes or remember exactly what those hands were capable of on my body. Nope.

“I’d been dreading this class, but seeing you this early in the morning makes it worth getting out of bed, December.”

“You and the ‘December’ . . .” I muttered, not willing to admit how much I liked it. “You can’t just call me ‘Ember’ like everyone else in the world?”

He leaned over, his mouth closer to my ear. “I only do it when no one else can hear, and besides, I’m not just everyone—not to you.”

Did his voice have to be so smooth? I glanced to the back of the classroom, tapping my pen on the empty notebook that would soon be full of delicious historical facts. “I think your paperweight is missing you.”

The brunette was sulking in her back-row seat, and I couldn’t blame her.

“Want to take her place?”

His mocking tone brought my gaze right to his, and I was a goner. I couldn’t stop the smile that erupted on my face when he waggled his eyebrows and patted the top of his desk. I shook my head and forced my focus back to the front of the room. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to get that close to you,” I reminded him with a smile.

“I’ll sit on my damn hands if it means you’ll wiggle up here.”

Speechless. I couldn’t even think of a retort for that one.

The prof saved me by handing out his syllabus and starting the lecture. I paid attention, really. Well, not really. I wrote down copious notes, but felt Josh’s eyes staring, which reminded me too much of his hands on me. I snuck a glance and found those brown eyes locked onto mine. Hot. Freaking on fire.

I crossed and uncrossed my legs, reminding myself that class was not the place to jump a fellow student, and paid more attention to the details. Papers, I could handle writing papers, taking notes, and concentrating on the Civil War. What I couldn’t handle was my self-imposed slow-down on Josh, not when I was ready to jump him in the middle of class.

It was the longest and shortest hour of my life. I was almost as desperate to get the hell out of that room as I was to stay there as close to him as I could get. Our prof dismissed us, and I scurried out the door like my chair was on fire. Monday was a light day, and I didn’t have another class until the afternoon, so I could get a jump-start on the reading if I headed home right now.

I was nearly to my car when Josh caught up to me. “What? No good-bye?” he teased, not even out of breath from his jog.

I opened my door and tossed in my bag, cringing when the books slammed to the floor on the passenger side. “Good-bye, Josh.”