But I wasn’t just twenty anymore.

I hauled my bag out of my car, cursing when I snagged a pocket on the gearshift. Would freaking anything go right today? I took the stairs to the fourth floor, needing to burn off some of the salted caramel mocha.

I reached our door and fumbled with the key. My fingers were still half numb from riding without the heat, but I wanted it cold. It slipped from my hand, hitting the carpet. I rested my forehead against the door and closed my eyes for a moment to keep from cursing at the lock. Like it was the damned problem.

I bent and picked it up, then slid it home, opening the door with a twist. Before I stepped through, a familiar frame filled my vision. Josh stepped off the elevator and headed toward me. My impulse was to run, jump, and kiss an apology into his mouth. I craved his hands on my skin, his mouth on mine. He had the power to make me forget for just a minute.

Which was why I couldn’t. I wouldn’t use him that way.

But what the hell was he doing here? Again?

“Josh, seriously?”

He glanced up from the messenger bag he was looking into and an incredulous look crossed his face. “Seriously, what?”

The guy was so aggravating. “You can’t just follow me from my house to my apartment! I told you I need some damned time!”

He laughed, full-out, making me doubt his sanity. At least mine wasn’t in jeopardy at the moment. He shook his head and walked toward me . . . and past me, stopping at the next door and slipping a key into the lock.

“Nice to meet you, neighbor.” He gave me a mock salute, then opened and closed the door behind him, leaving me standing in the hallway like a moron. Crap.

“Ember? Is that you?” Sam called out from inside our apartment.

I walked in, dropping my bag in the front hall, and plopped down into the massive arm chair. She put down her laptop and watched me. “Chicky? What the hell is wrong with you?”

I shook my head. “Oh, I’m a hormonal, self-involved wench. You?”

She tossed her pint of Ben & Jerry’s at me and I devoured it without checking the calories on the label.

Chapter Ten

Awkward. That was the only way to describe what it felt like to sit next to Josh Walker when he wasn’t talking to me. It didn’t matter that I didn’t want him to talk to me. Right?

His gaze burned into me, but when I turned my head to catch him, he was staring back at the professor. By Friday evening, I was ready to eat myself alive with guilt.

I’d been a total bitch. The guy came when my little brother called, which pretty much elevated him to godlike status in the guy department, and he couldn’t help that we’d moved in next door. Turns out he’d been living there two freaking years. If I could have disappeared through the floor in utter embarrassment, I would have.

“Hey, you there?” Sam caught me staring off into space in the general direction of the Dave Matthews poster in the living room.

“Yeah, I’m just distracted.”

She pulled her robe snug around her body and adjusted her towel turban. “The girls and I are headed out in a couple hours. Why don’t you come? You could use some rebound action.”

I surveyed the mountain of school work on the coffee table in front of me. “I wish.” Well, not the rebound, but the rest. “I could really use a drink, but Gus has practice early tomorrow and I told Mom I’d take him.”

“Did she ask you to?”

“No, I offered.” When she remained silent, I looked up from my childhood education text. “What?”

“It’s been a month, Ember.”

Like I needed someone to tell me how long it had been since I’d lost my dad. One month, two days, and eleven and a half hours since notification. “Yeah? And? She needs help.”

“I’m not saying she doesn’t. Look, I really admire what you’ve done. You’ve given up a hell of a lot more than any other kid would. I’m just saying maybe it’s time to trust her a little more. Maybe you could start waiting for her to ask, instead of assuming she can’t handle it all.”

“You don’t understand.”

She sat next to me and pulled my hand off my notebook, holding it in hers. “You’re right. I don’t. No one really does. But I’ve seen your mom in action, through both of these last deployments, and in Kansas, too. She’s tough. Just make sure you’re not selling her short. Besides, isn’t your Grams still watching out for her?”

“Yeah, she keeps saying she’s leaving soon, but it’s like she’s waiting for something, some green light that we’re okay. I’m just thankful she’s still here, otherwise I think I would have moved back home.” I smiled, realizing what Grams had saved me from. “Besides, Grams knows nothing about hockey.”

A wicked smile sprung onto Sam’s face. “Maybe Josh is the reason you wanted to take Gus?”

Blood rushed to my cheeks. “I have to apologize to him.”

“Then go apologize.” She stood up and toweled off her hair. “Girl, the guy lives next door. Get your ass over there and say you’re sorry. I have to go get my sexy on.” She sashayed into her bedroom. Not like Sam needed any help in that department, but I knew whatever getup she’d choose would accentuate every asset the girl had.

I glanced at the clock: 7:15 p.m. The nervous pit in my stomach told me I was really going to do this. I put down my books and got my butt off the couch. Was I really going over there in jeans and a zip-up hoodie? Yup. It wasn’t like I was trying to impress him, right? This sent the appropriate stay-away message. Plus, I hadn’t put on makeup or shaved my legs. Who the hell would shave their legs for an apology?