“Wow, that is so freaking romantic. I need to find a guy like you,” she laughs into the phone. That’s my Jade, always making a joke to lighten the mood.

“A guy like me might not be able to give you everything you need,” I laugh, dragging out the last word. I know exactly what she meant, but it’s fun to play with her a little.

“Whatever, smart ass. I’m beginning to realize there’s more to life that fulfilling my physical needs,” she says, suddenly serious. Jade’s funny, smart, and so full of life. She deserves to find someone who can complete her. She’s a strong, determined girl, though, and just any guy won’t fit the mold.

“You’ll find him.”

“I thought I did. Twice,” she whispers. She sounds sad, and I hate that I can’t fix it for her. Love is something she needs to fall into. It can’t be forced, and I certainly can’t make it happen for her.

She won’t talk about her love life, but I know there’s a story there. I’m pretty sure one of her two attempts on love was Tyler, but I’m not sure about the other one. Whoever it was burned her good because she is a mess when it comes to guys and relationships.

“Have you heard from him?” I ask, breaking the silence.

“No,” she replies, her voice thick with emotion. She knows I’m referring to Tyler. She thought he was her future, her second chance at love, but he ended up being her second mistake as she calls him.

“I’m sorry.” I really don’t know what else to say to ease her broken heart. I’ve never been in love with a guy who ran away from me. I’m the one who usually does the running.

“Enough about me. So you guys are good?”

I think about lying in Dane’s arms last night. I think about having him under me, on me, and inside of me this morning. It puts an instant smile back on my face. “Everything is great so far.”

“I can’t believe how quickly things change.”

“I know. At least this one was for the better,” I reply, glancing at the bathroom door. He’s only been in there for a few minutes, but I miss him already.

“Well, I better get going. I’m meeting some old friends for brunch,” she says. I’m glad she’s not alone all summer. I would feel really bad if I knew she was just sitting there sulking while I’m spending all my days wrapped in my boyfriend’s arms.

“Have fun and call me tomorrow. Just because I’m not staying with you, doesn’t mean I don’t need to hear your voice every day,” I reassure her.

“I will. Now get back to that sexy boyfriend of yours,” she says. I can hear the smile in her voice.

“Don’t worry…I’m not letting him out of my sight. Have fun today. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow. Bye, love.” Her voice trails off, and I want to ask her if she’s sure that everything is okay, but she hangs up before I get a chance.

I nestle myself into the pillow and close my eyes as I listen to the shower run in the other room. I wonder where we go from here. I wonder what it will be like to live together. I wonder if I’ll be able to find a job so that I can carry my weight. There are so many unknowns right now, but I push all the worry away and stay lost in the moment, waiting for my boyfriend to join me in bed again.

Chapter Two

When Alex showed up at my apartment yesterday, I didn’t know what to think. I spent so much time losing myself while we were apart and the minute I opened that door and saw her standing there, I could see myself again. She hurt me so much, but being with her is less painful than being without her.

Walking away from her in the park was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I watched Alex shatter right in front of me, and it took everything I had not to wrap her in my arms and tell her everything would be okay. I wanted her, but I needed to save myself. I was still upset, and needed time to sort through our relationship and what had gone wrong. I knew the moment I fell in love with Alex that those feelings would never die. Alex buried herself deep in my heart, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t leave room for anyone else. Time seemed to lessen my anger and left me feeling empty and alone. It wasn’t the first time I’d felt lonely, but it was worse than the other times. Being in love is different from loving someone. It hits you harder when it all falls apart.

A part of me wanted to tell her to leave and never come back when I saw her standing in front of me yesterday. It would have killed me, but she wouldn’t be able to damage me any more than she already had. But after looking into her eyes, I realized that it would hurt more to watch her walk away again than it would to let her back in my life. I couldn’t do it. Regret can be paralyzing, and I knew I’d regret watching her walk away again.

When I first met Alex, I thought she was too good for me. Perfection seemed to surround her. We were both running from our pasts and I’m just lucky we stopped in the same place. I had quit dreaming about normal years ago, but suddenly it fell into my lap.

As I open my bathroom door, I see her lying in my bed just like I’ve dreamed of the past couple months. Her long blonde hair is fanned on my pillow, begging to be touched. She’s cuddled under my sheet, but I know there’s nothing else under it. I wish we could stay locked in my apartment forever, just like this. I crawl under the sheet in nothing but my boxer briefs, fresh from my shower and curl my body around hers. “Did you miss me?”

“I always miss you,” she mumbles, moving her body back into mine so every part of her body molds to mine.

“I like the sound of that.” We lay quietly for several minutes, just taking in the feeling of being next to each other again, skin to skin. It’s amazing that feeling you get when you don’t think you’ll have the one thing you want ever again, and then one day it’s yours again.

“Dane.” Hearing my name come from her lips makes my mouth go dry. Her voice is always so soft and smooth; I used to lie in my bed for hours trying to remember it. I went to Art class a few times after we broke up, and whenever I heard her voice I wanted to run to her, and run away from her at the same time. It brought everything rushing back to me, good and bad.

“Yeah.”

“What did you do while we were apart? I mean, you quit coming to class and I was just wondering why,” she says, lowering her voice. I can tell by her tone that she’s afraid to hear it.

I take a deep breath as I decide what to tell her now and what can wait until later. Our relationship is delicate at this point, and I don’t want to do anything to damage it anymore than it already is. I’m not messing it up with her. “I couldn’t go to class and pretend anymore. I couldn’t go to class and pretend that I didn’t want to hold you, touch you or kiss you. I couldn’t stand to hear your voice and know you weren’t talking to me.”

She turns in my arms, and I can see her eyes welling up with tears. “Dane, art means everything to you. You needed that class. I would’ve dropped or worked something out with Mr. Thomas so you could continue.” I know she would have done that for me. She left me when I needed her, but she was putting her parents’ wants first and I know, in a way, she thought she was putting me first because of their threats. The more I think about it, the more I feel for her. It must’ve been horrible to have that tug-of-war inside her head. I should have seen it, but I didn’t.

I’m going to make sure she never has to choose again.

I brush a piece of hair out of her eyes. “I sold a bunch of sculptures to a hotel chain, and a local gallery is permanently displaying my work. I needed some time off to get enough completed to make that happen, so Mr. Thomas let me finish the semester by counting my sculptures for the hotel as my final project. I still plan on graduating.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. I feel my chest tighten when I look at the sad expression on her face. This is a guilt she shouldn’t carry on her shoulders. There is so much more I need to tell her, but can’t right now. Call me a f**king coward, but I need to put a stronger wall around our relationship before I start dumping everything on her.

“Baby, I’m not going to pretend like what happened between us was okay, but my art career couldn’t be going any better than it is right now,” I say, softly kissing her lips. She seems hesitant at first, but quickly responds to me, brushing her soft lips against mine. When she pulls back, her eyes are full of question. “What’s wrong, baby? I can tell you have something else on your mind.”

She clears her throat. I know Alex isn’t a very forward person, but I have enough of that for the both of us. “Did you see anyone while we were apart? You know about what happened with Mason, and I was just wondering-”

“Stop. I couldn’t think of anyone but you. I know I have a reputation that will always follow me, but before you there hadn’t been anyone for a long time. I sure as hell couldn’t have anyone after you.”

A small smile touches her lips and I watch her whole face relax. “You don’t know how good it feels to hear that.” My body tenses. I wish she could say the same thing to me. I wish she could tell me that there was no one else while we were apart, but there was. If I ever see Mason Fucking Landers again, he’d better hope he has his running shoes on. I f**king hate the thought of him, or any other guy, touching her.

“We should probably do something besides lay in my bed all day. Do you want me to make you some breakfast?” I ask, rolling out of bed to put on some clothes. The other truths can wait until later. I’m not ready to open the whole book of Dane…not when we’ve just joined our lives back together.

She climbs out of bed and walks over to join me. She is questioning me with her eyes. She wants to know that everything between us is good. It is, or it will be. I wrap my arms around her small waist; I swear this girl hasn’t eaten since we broke up.

She leans up to kiss my chin. “I miss your cooking.”

“I can tell. Go take a shower, and I’ll make you something.” As she begins to walk away, I run my hand over her ass, earning me a sexy smirk over her shoulder. I missed doing that and seeing her reaction.