Reed talked a little more about Jason and his dad’s leg. He said his father would be in the cast until the holidays, but that he should start to be able to get around after that. Rose was coming to stay at the house to help out, too, and Reed was hopeful that Jason wouldn’t stay the entire time. I didn’t want to tell him, but I was pretty sure Jason loved being in charge, and I wouldn’t put it past him to break his father’s other leg just to hold onto the job a little longer.

I let Reed go as the sun was setting, promising to call him before I left to come home in the morning. Most of my dorm residents were out partying at the nearby apartment complex—where the campus rules didn’t apply. Thursdays were more like Fridays around here, with most of the classes wrapping on Thursday afternoons.

I took advantage of the peace and solitude and hauled my bag of laundry down the hall so I’d have clean clothes for the weekend. I kicked back in the laundry room for about three hours while I put two loads through wash and dry cycles. I was able to finish my poetry reading and even made my notes for our class discussion on Monday. I was determined to pull my Bs back up to As—even if my grades didn’t matter after this semester. “Push those thoughts back down, Nolan,” I told myself.

It was close to 11 p.m. by the time I finally got everything folded and packed and was settled in my bed for the night. I checked my phone one last time and found a short text from Reed.

See you tomorrow, Princess.

That was it, but it was enough. I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly for the first time in days.

The clock read 3 a.m. when my eyes flashed open. I was suddenly and completely alert, but I had no idea why. My pulse was pounding, and I stilled my breathing, listening for a noise. Something must have startled me. I watched the small line of light that marked where my door met the floor, studying it for foot traffic or a shadow, but there was no one outside. Deciding it must have been a dream, I threw my covers off and slid sideways from my bed. That’s when I noticed the blood.

My pajama bottoms were soaked, and I could feel dampness on my sheets. Fully awake with adrenaline, I flipped on the light next to my bed to understand. I was bleeding, and badly. I raced to the bathroom and pulled my clothes off, still trying to understand. How could I be bleeding? I checked for more blood, and it was heavy.

No, no, no. I was so scared something was wrong. I was now more than two weeks late, so something had to be wrong with me. I wrapped a towel around my body and went to my desk to grab my phone. I needed Sarah.

I dialed, not even thinking what time it was. When she answered, I realized. “Hello? Nolan?” she whispered groggily. “What the fu…”

“Sarah, please come. Come right now. I need you, something’s wrong!” I was shaking and crying hysterically. “Hurry, please.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll be right there,” she said, hanging up before I could fill her in any more. I slid down to the floor, pulled my knees to my chest and just rocked myself back and forth.

My thoughts raced, “I didn’t want this, but I didn’t want this. This is my fault.” I couldn’t stop the voice in my head. I tortured myself with fear and guilt until I heard the ding of the elevator down the hall. I went to the door to unlock it and let Sarah in.

“Nolan, what’s wro…” she took one look at me, and suddenly she knew. My lips were quivering now, and I was shivering uncontrollably. “Nolan, it’s okay. Come here. It’s okay.”

Sarah was talking softly now. In an instant, I became a scared child, fragile and broken. She pulled me into her arms and cradled me, stroking my hair back behind my ears and holding my head to her shoulder. We stayed like that for several minutes, light sobs coming from me unexpectedly, and each time Sarah just squeezed me tighter and whispered softly in my ear. “Shhhhh, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” she said, knowing it wouldn’t, but also knowing that those were the only words she could say right now.

Over the next hour, Sarah helped get me in the shower while she discarded my clothes and changed my bed sheets. I lay awake with my head resting in her lap until the sun started to brighten my curtains. Sarah didn’t sleep either, but instead sat awake with me, just stroking my hair and whispering whatever I needed to hear in my ear. When my alarm clicked on at 6 a.m., the time I usually got up to head to the gym, I reached over and slapped it off.

I rolled my head to look up at Sarah through my puffy eyes. She was a mirror of me. “I have to go see Reed,” I was matter-of-fact. “He’s the only one that can make this okay.”