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Cabel doesn’t speak for a moment, and Janie cringes. “Sorry,” she says. “That didn’t come out right.”
“Okay, well,” he says. But his voice is still bristly. “I was calling to see what time you wanted me to pick you up for that meeting we have with Captain. At two.”
Janie sits up in the chair. “Oh, crap!” She checks her watch. “Shit, I forgot.” She glances around the room to make sure everything’s in place and she careens out the door, closing it but not locking it, just as Henry left it. “I’m . . . out for a run. I gotta hightail it home and grab a quick shower. How about one fifty-five?”
“Wow, that’s cutting it close. We’ll be late. You want me to pick you up from where you are now and get you home faster?”
Janie starts jogging down the driveway, her muscles stiff. “No,” she says. “No, I can just meet you at the police station.”
“What, you’re taking the bus? Captain will be pissed. I’m supposed to drive you. You know that. Come on, Janie.” He sounds mad.
Janie’s voice jiggles as she runs. She breathes out through pursed lips to avoid the stitch she’s already getting in her side. “I know,” she says. “I know.”
“Where are you?”
She slows to a walk. “You know, Cabe, I think . . . just . . . go without me,” she says. “Okay? I’m not going.”
“What the—? Janie! Come on. Don’t do this. I’ll pick you up at one fifty-five. It’ll be fine.”
Janie keeps walking. “No,” she says firmly. “I’ve got some stuff to do. I’ll call her to explain. Just go.”
“But—” Cabel sighs.
Janie’s silent.
“Fine,” he says. Hangs up without a good-bye.
Janie flips her phone shut and shoves it back in her pocket. “God,” she says. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
She calls Captain as she walks back toward home.
“Everything okay, Hannagan?”
“Not really, sir,” Janie says. Her voice quivers. “I’m not coming in today. I’m sorry.”
Silence.
Janie stops walking. “I can’t make it to the meeting. I—I think I made my decision.”
There is the sound of her chair creaking and a soft sigh on the other end. “Okay. Well.” She pauses. “Cabe?”
Janie drops to her haunches on the side of the road and squeezes her eyes shut. Bites her forefinger. Takes in a measured breath to steady her voice. “Not yet,” she says. “Soon. I need a couple days to figure out what I do from here.”
“Oh, Janie,” Captain says.
1:34 p.m.
She stands on the road, not sure where to go now. Home, or back to Henry’s. Her head tells her one thing.
But when her stomach growls, she knows the answer.
Doesn’t feel right about eating her father’s food. So she trudges to the bus stop. Thinking, always thinking.
She knows she’s going to have to say good-bye to Cabel.
Forever.
It’s just really hard to imagine doing it.
2:31 p.m.
At home, Janie fixes three sandwiches. She eats one, wraps the other two in plastic and stows them in her backpack. Dorothea makes a rare appearance, scrounging around in the refrigerator.
“You want me to make you a sandwich, Ma?” Janie says, not really wanting to. “I’ve got all the stuff out.”
Dorothea dismisses the suggestion with a careless wave and a grunt, and grabs a can of beer instead. She shuffles back to her room.
And then the front door opens.
“Hey, Janers, you home?” It’s Carrie.
Janie groans inwardly. She just wants to go back to Henry’s house. “Hey, girl. What digs?”
“Nothin’.” Carrie saunters into the kitchen and hoists herself up on the counter. Sticks her feet out. She’s wearing flip-flops. “Check out my pedi. Aren’t you so jel?”
Janie fixes her attention on Carrie’s toes. “Totally! Really cute, Carrie.” Janie fills up a water bottle at the tap and tosses that in her backpack too.
“You going somewhere?” Carrie looks a little disappointed.
“Yeah,” Janie says.
“Cabe’s?”
“No.” Janie sighs. She’d been forced to lie to Carrie when on assignment during their entire senior year. Doesn’t want to now. “Can I trust you to keep a secret?”
“Der.”
Janie smiles. “I—I found Henry’s house. I’m going to go back out there and try to learn more about him.”
“Sweet!” Carrie hops off the counter. “Can I come? I’ll drive.”
“Uh . . .” Janie says. She wants to be alone, but after trekking out to Henry’s once already today, the thought of having a ride there and back is too tempting to say no. “Sure. Can you be ready to go, like, now?”
“I’m always ready to go. I’ll go start up the little diva and meet you in the driveway.”
2:50 p.m.
“So,” Janie says from the passenger seat of the ’77 Nova. “No plans with Stu tonight?”
“No.” Carrie frowns as she steers the car out of town, following Janie’s directions. “Why does everybody ask me that whenever they see me without him?”
“Because you’re almost always with him?”