A slow smile spread across his face, and his eyes focused on something far away that I hoped was his future. “Yeah,” he said in a hopeful tone. “Maybe when I get home.”

“Maybe when you get home.”

He raised his beer to mine, and we toasted second chances.

Later, when I thought about what he’d said, that I would never let my career take a backseat to Josh’s, I mailed the application for the Ephesus dig.

Another month went by, Will deployed, and suddenly I was staring May and graduation in the face.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” Paisley drawled as she popped her head in my front door.

“Am I?” I grabbed my bag that stored my cap and gown. “Yes, I’m ready to go. My sister? Not so much.”

“April! I will leave you here if you do not present yourself in the next two minutes!” Mom yelled, straightening Gus’s tie. Her hair was swept up in a perfect twist, and her pearls were in place.

“She’ll do it, too!” Gus threatened with all the bravado turning nine had given him. His hair hadn’t lost any of its strawberry curl, giving him a rather rakish look if Mom didn’t keep it cut close.

When Josh had suggested the three-bedroom townhouse, I’d balked, but after having my family here for the week, I was ready to kiss the man for his thoughtfulness. Hell, I was ready to kiss him, period. Or simply skip the kissing and jump him. Ugh. I missed him so much that there was a physical ache constantly present in my chest that felt like I couldn’t take a deep breath without crushing something. Next week it would be three months since he’d deployed.

I was going to be a basket case by six.

“How about I drive you down, Ember, and your mom can take your car?” Paisley suggested, checking her watch. “I don’t want you to be late.”

Mom’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Perfect. Go.”

“Mom, it’s an hour away. I don’t want you to get lost or anything.”

She shot me the look, and I damn near withered. “December Howard, I’m well aware of where Vanderbilt is, considering you were born while your father was in medical school there. Go with Paisley, and we’ll catch up.”

“Okay.” I kissed Gus’s smooth cheek and ran out the door to where Paisley already had her car running, air conditioning on full blast.

After clicking into our seat belts, we took off for the city.

“I saw the roses Josh sent,” she said as we pulled onto the highway. “They’re gorgeous!”

“Yeah, he hates not being here.” I hated it, too. Every single second of it.

“I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged. “Next week it’s your turn, Mrs. Bateman. We still on for a little Alabama road trip?”

She nodded. “Absolutely.” She was quiet for a few moments. “It’s okay to be mad, Ember. Mad that they’re missing everything. Mad that our world keeps spinning while they’re gone.”

I swallowed. “Okay, honest moment?”

“Shoot.”

“I keep thinking of everything my dad missed. All the plays, and games, and little graduations, and I remember swearing I would never live like that. I was never mad at him, just sad, you know?”

“Yes. The higher up in rank Daddy goes, the less I see him. And I’m proud of him, of everything he’s accomplished, but…” She shook her head. “It’s not important.”

The sun glinted off my ring as the car curved with the road, throwing prisms of color onto the ceiling. “No, it is important. I feel like one of the reasons we get married is because you find your person. The one person you want with you when everything goes to shit, the one person you want when it’s all amazingly right. Like you have your own personal witness and cheerleader to your life.”

Her hand ran absentmindedly across her emerging baby bump. “And they’re missing it,” she finished.

“They’re missing it, and I can’t help but feel like some of the joy is sucked out of everything because they’re not here.” It was my graduation day, damn it. I didn’t want this gaping hole in my chest. I wanted hugs, and kisses, and congratulations. I wanted Josh to be here for me the same way I’d been there for him when I’d pinned him at his commissioning, or when he’d graduated flight school.

I was desperate for an equality that, as a military spouse, I was never going to get. Usually I was okay with it. This was what I signed up for, as Mom loved to remind me. But sometimes, especially on days like this, well, it sucked.

Paisley reached over and clasped my hand. “I’ll be your witness, and you’ll be mine. We’ll fill the holes.”

I squeezed her hand gently and thought about what the next months would bring. My graduation, Paisley’s, maybe the Ephesus dig, and the birth of the Mini-Bateman. In the face of watching one of my closest friends go through her pregnancy solo, my little cap and gown didn’t matter so much.

“We’ll fill the holes,” I agreed.

With the sun shining on a gorgeous Nashville day, I walked across the stage and received my bachelor’s in history.

After the ceremony, Mom rushed me, holding me tightly to her. “Your dad would be so proud, Ember. We’re all so proud.”

I closed my eyes and felt the sweetest pressure in my chest like Dad was with us, hugging me, too.

“Ember!” Paisley said, shaking my phone toward me. I’d asked her to hold it for me during the ceremony. I took it and gasped at the face on the screen.