“Will!” His name was an anguished cry, and I felt the first of my tears slip down my face. “Oh, God, not him. His mama—” She sucked in her breath and stood, turning to the officers. “Have you told his mama?”

Their eyes met, and a darker feeling of unease settled over me.

“You’re listed as his primary next-of-kin, ma’am. His parents will be notified directly, but everything is in your name.”

She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and nodded, trembling. “Okay.”

The officers locked eyes again, and the tall one, Captain Xavier, swallowed.

I was going to be sick. I knew that look. I hated that look.

“They’re not done,” I whispered. “You’re not done.” Helicopter crash. There’s never just one casualty from a helicopter crash.

Captain Jones cleared his throat. “December Howard?”

Every cell in my body stopped functioning. My heart ceased its beat. Paisley took my hand again with a desperate grip. A roaring began in my head that I fought to ignore.

“I’m December.” My mother is June. Past and present warred for control of my brain.

“Maybe now we could step inside?” Captain Xavier said to Paisley.

“No, you tell us together,” I said. “No matter what it is.”

The two officers looked at each other. “I’ve never had this happen,” Jones whispered.

“Yeah, me, either,” Xavier replied.

“Tell us!” Paisley shouted, her usual sweet demeanor long since forgotten.

Captain Xavier swallowed. “We would normally make a phone call, first. Both Lieutenant Bateman and Lieutenant Walker have been seriously injured in helicopter crashes in the Tor Ghar mountains, Afghanistan. It was a combined incident.”

My heart dropped to the porch beneath me. “They’re not dead,” I whispered to Paisley. To myself. “Injured, not dead.” I could handle injured, any kind of injured, as long as Josh was coming home to me.

Paisley nodded.

I straightened my shoulders and tried to shove my grief over Will to the back of my mind. “Officers, if you’d like to come inside, we’d like to hear what you know.”

“I’m getting on a plane,” Sam said through the phone. As much as I wanted my best friend here, it just wasn’t possible.

“No, you’re not,” I responded, zipping my carry-on. “Where the hell is my passport?”

“Ember…”

“Sam, you have another final to take, and I’ll be in Germany anyway. I’m not sure how long they’ll keep Josh there.” I lifted my suitcase off the bed then pulled it into the guest room so I could sort through the fire safe. “Paisley booked a flight, and we’re airborne in two hours.”

“I can’t do nothing.”

I pulled my passport from under a stack of papers in the safe and put it in the back pocket of my capris. “You’re not. You’re doing exactly what I need you to do, which is take your final.”

“There’s nothing else?”

My heart sank as I glanced at a framed picture of all of us at flight school graduation. “I need you to check on Morgan, but I’m not sure she knows yet.”

“I can do that. Ember, I’m so sorry.”

I paused in the doorway and almost let it in, the reality of what had happened. It was like this giant monster screaming at the gates of my sanity, begging to be let in, to be acknowledged. But I knew the moment I did, I wouldn’t be able to function.

I was not my mother. I would not break.

“He’s okay,” I said. “He’s alive, and that’s all that matters.”

“You’re right.” A door closed in the background. “Grayson’s home from post.” She handed over the phone.

“Ember? I’m sorry it took so long to get here. I was…making arrangements. Sam filled me in a little, but how bad is it?”

Grayson’s voice buckled my knees, and I sat at the top of our stairs. Thank God he hadn’t been with them. “They’re alive, and everyone has their limbs. Jagger’s legs are pretty torn up, and he has some bad internal bleeding. The last we heard he’s still in surgery. It’s only been a couple of hours since they notified us.”

“Josh?”

I took in two gulping breaths, trying to maintain some semblance of control. “Broken arm, dislocated shoulder, and a ruptured spleen. He’s out of surgery but not awake yet. And Will…” The words wouldn’t come.

“I know,” he said softly. “I’ve got a call into his unit and already talked to Paisley’s dad. I’m leaving tomorrow for Kandahar. I’ll bring him home.”

Grief welled in my chest, a sorrow that could not be ignored and refused to remain compartmentalized. My throat tightened, and I covered my mouth as if it could keep my internal screams silent. I nodded, like he could see me, my teeth sinking into my lower lip. “What are the odds?” I squeaked. “What are the fucking odds of this happening?”

Grayson sighed. “If Josh knew it was Jagger that went down, you know there was nothing that could have stopped him from going. Any one of us would have done the same. I would have. I should have been—”

“Stop right there.” I cut him off. “You are exactly where you need to be right now.”

A few moments of silence passed between us before he finally spoke. “You’re headed to Germany?”