“When?”

“It’s complicated. I have to progress through some helicopter training before I’m ready to fly with the unit, and they want me to do that here before I leave.”

“Josh. Stop making me ask you things twice, and just be straight with me. You can’t hide this from me or protect me from it, so just be honest and tell me when.”

God, those eyes, they destroyed me. They were wide, wild, even though the rest of her was composed. “A month.”

Her little whimper broke my fucking heart. Her eyes focused on her wineglass, and her spine straightened. I witnessed that moment in the grocery store two years ago all over again, watching her take on a burden she shouldn’t have to and stand even taller for it. “Okay. For how long?” Her voice grew steadier.

She was magnificent.

“Nine months. Maybe longer.” Nine fucking months without seeing her. Kissing her. Feeling her wiggle closer to me while she slept.

December nodded. “I thought they told you that your battalion wasn’t on the patch chart?”

That stupid chart, the one that stated which units were up for deployment rotation, was about as trustworthy as a politician. “Right. When I got the welcome call from the unit, we weren’t. A different battalion was. But then they decided to go with a task force and pull different companies from different battalions—”

“I know what a task force is,” she said quietly, reminding me all too clearly that she was no stranger to this life.

“Right. Sorry. They pulled three of us. Medevac leaves early, but they’re leaving me here this month to progress. The rest of the company leaves next week.”

She sucked in her breath. “So soon.”

“Yeah.” An ominous silence settled over our table, the food growing colder by the minute.

“Jagger? Will?”

“Jagger leaves with me. Carter will rotate in a couple months after us, and stay a couple months later. They’re trying to make sure medevac doesn’t end up with the year-long version of this hell.” She nodded but didn’t speak, still absorbed in the glass in front of her. I reached for her hand, covering it with my own and squeezing gently. “Babe, this will be okay. I’ll be okay.”

Her head snapped toward mine, those blue eyes lit with a fire that was as beautiful as it was intimidating. “You. Don’t. Know. That.” She spat out each word through closed teeth.

Wrong thing to say. “I know that I love you.”

She shook her head. “That country nearly killed you last time, and it did kill my dad. All the love in the world can’t save us from that.” She pulled her hand from mine and buried her face.

“Hey. I know this is scary—”

“I’m trying, I swear. I know I signed up for this. It’s not like I didn’t know what you were going to do, and I still chose you—choose you—but God, Josh. This…I can’t wrap my head around it.”

I pushed my chair out and reached for her, lifting her tiny, curved frame onto my lap. Her head tucked beneath my chin, and she curled into me, fitting right where she was always meant to be. My arms closed around her. “We have a month.”

“It’s not long enough.” Her fingers gripped my shirt like she could keep me here if she just held on tight enough. God, what I wouldn’t have given to stay with her.

“Forever isn’t long enough for us, December, but that’s what we’re going to have. You and I have never chosen the easy path. This is just another hurdle.” I rubbed my chin over her soft hair and tried to soak in every detail of holding her—the sweet way she smelled, the smooth texture of her skin beneath my hands.

She leaned back in my arms and cupped my face. “I can’t lose you.” Her voice broke, and tears pooled in her eyes.

I’d never hated myself more than I did in that moment. She’d made it through a nightmare no one should have to face, and I was about to ask her to chance that fire again. My breath hitched, barely passing the lump in my throat. “You won’t. It would take something a hell of a lot stronger than a war to keep me from you.”

I sealed that promise with a kiss, tasting her fear and desperation as she responded. She opened underneath me, and I fused my mouth to hers, surrendering to the heat between us to pull us through this moment. There was nothing hotter or sweeter in this world than kissing December, feeling her go soft and pliant.

We’d fought so fucking hard to get here, to be together. This wasn’t fair, and we both knew it. But we also both knew it didn’t matter. Fair wasn’t exactly in the U.S. Army vocabulary.

I retreated just enough to whisper against her lips, “I’ll come home. I swear it.”

Her chest trembled as she sucked in a stuttered breath. “Don’t make me a promise you can’t keep, Joshua Walker.”

“I’ll spend my life keeping it,” I vowed.

Her fingers skipped over my face, like she needed to memorize me. “You don’t get it,” she whispered. “That’s what I’m terrified of.”

I pulled her to me the second her tears slipped down her porcelain cheeks, and held her long past their end.

The week had passed too quickly. The days did that now, too, no matter how I tried to slow them down, to savor every second I had with her. It seemed daylight slipped through my fingers.

“I’d almost forgotten how much paperwork there was,” I muttered, flipping through the stack.