Ember’s face flashed through my mind. She’d understand. She had to. And if she doesn’t? Fuck. At least she’d be better off. She deserved to love a whole man, and if I didn’t do this, I wouldn’t be. Ever. “I’m sure.”

He nodded and signed the top paper. “Okay. We’ll see you tomorrow. If you change your mind, Walker, just call me.”

I stood. My heart tore, suddenly at odds with what I’d been contemplating the last two weeks. Stop. “Thank you, sir.”

“For the record, I think what you’re doing is incredible.”

“It’s nothing more than what any other soldier would do, sir.” Before he could say anything else about how damn brave or selfless he thought it was, I got the hell out of his office. It was the last thing I wanted to hear, and it sure as hell wasn’t true.

“You tell her yet?” Rizzo asked, standing in the hallway as I closed Captain Brown’s door.

“No.”

He whistled low.

“Yeah, I know. She’s had a ton on her plate, deciding about going on this dig next week. I’ve even caught her trying to get out of it, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen.”

“You can’t tell me this is about her going on a dig.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s about us both doing what we need to. Ember and I have always been amazing together, but it’s because we’re both strong enough to stand on our own when we need to. It’s a hell of a foundation.”

“Pretty harsh timeline, though,” he muttered as we walked into the sunlight.

“Yeah, well, we had no control over that, either.”

Rizzo laughed. “Yeah, let me know when the US Army starts asking when things are convenient for us.”

“Maybe it’s when we stop making things so much harder on ourselves.”

“Yeah, like you dropping a SOAR packet?”

My steps faltered. “It’s just a thought. One discussion with one of their recruiters.”

“Yeah, well, thoughts become actions. For what it’s worth, you’re exactly the kind of pilot they’re looking for.”

“Still just a thought.”

We said good-bye in the parking lot, and I drove home, stopping along the way to pick up the last of the things on my list.

It had been two weeks since I’d been cleared to fly, and they’d gotten me up nearly every day. The first time had been the worst, but I hadn’t panicked. I’d pushed past it just like the pain.

Maybe I’d vomited once we’d landed, but I’d gotten through it.

I was back at it the next day. I focused all of myself on the controls, the flight, the technical aspects of flying, and did my best to forget that I’d almost been killed in that crash. Not so easy, yet I found that if I compartmentalized, it worked out.

I wasn’t going to let a little fear fuck over the soldiers who needed help. If they were bleeding, dying on the ground, I could risk bleeding, dying in the air. It was only right.

But driving home now, knowing what was about to happen…God, dying and bleeding sounded preferable.

“That smells so good,” Ember said as she walked into the house a few hours later.

“Don’t give me the credit. I cheated.” I waved the two bags from the local Italian restaurant and savored her laugh.

Takeout was all I’d had time to do, considering how I’d spent the hours after telling Brown my decision.

She dropped her bag and walked over to me in the kitchen, her legs three miles long in those shorts. “Hiya, babe.” She grinned and looped her arms around my neck.

“Hey, yourself.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and tried to take in everything about her in that moment. Ember’s hair trailed down her back, brushing my arms, the shorter layers framing her lightly freckled cheeks. Her eyes sparkled with happiness, drawing me in like always. Her mouth, those perfect lips, formed a contagious smile. She felt like a piece of heaven in my arms, the realization of every dream I’d been too scared to even think possible. And she was mine.

For now.

“What?” she asked, her trouble-radar working perfectly.

“I just really love you.” I swept my hands down her back to her tiny waist. “There’s nothing about you that I don’t love.”

“I love you, too,” she promised, but the suspicion was still there.

I kissed her, melding our mouths together in the sweetest way possible, taking my time. She leaned into me, her grip tightening on my neck as she kissed me back. I let her go just as her breath hitched, memorizing the sound.

She pulled back, quirking her head to the side. “Okay, I know something’s off. What is it?”

“Tell me how your day was first.” I dished food onto our plates, my appetite suddenly gone. She grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge. “Whoa. That bad?”

“Ha,” she said, no amusement in her tone. “I told Luke I couldn’t go on the dig.”

I nearly dropped the damn plate. “You what?”

She avoided my eyes, instead concentrating on opening the bottle. “I told him it just wasn’t the right time.”

My stomach churned, and it took every ounce of self control in my body to keep my voice level. No. Not for me. Not because of me. “What did he say?”

She popped the cork. “That I was making a mistake, and he’d hold off until tomorrow to tell Dr. Trimble so I could change my mind overnight.”