“You looking to fight with your woman?”

“No,” he said, getting flustered. He tensed. Even Rocco considered Beth to be Sam’s woman. He swallowed tightly, unsure how best to explain his feelings. “I expected things to change after she got out of the hospital and they haven’t. We talk every day, see each other four or five times a week. It’s like overnight my life revolves around hers and hers around mine. It’s too much.”

“Not following you, buddy. You’re not fighting and you think that’s a bad thing?”

“No. Okay, yeah, we get along and that’s cool. It’s everything else, Rocco.” Sam wiped a hand down his face and wished he could explain himself in a way that made sense. Problem was, he wasn’t sure he could put it into words. “Did you know she’s not talking to her parents?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Rocco asked.

“A lot. I met her mother; it didn’t go well. She wasn’t in my face or anything, but I got the message and so did Beth. I’m not good enough for her daughter. Later the mother sent this guy she wants Beth to marry to town to check up on her.”

“The night of the Rock and Bowl?”

“Yeah.”

“Heard she isn’t interested in him.”

“She isn’t.”

Rocco glanced his way. “So what’s the problem?”

Sam exhaled a long, slow sigh. “Beth and I had a great time with Matthew, and I have to tell her it scared the crap out of me.”

Rocco raised his hand, stopping him. “We were talking about the mother.”

“That’s part of it.”

“What’s Matthew got to do with Beth’s mother?”

“Not a damn thing. Hear me out, will you?”

Rocco shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Am I going to be able to follow your line of thinking?”

“Hope so,” Sam confessed. “That night with Matthew I saw Beth holding your son and all at once I’m thinking that could be the two of us, and Rocco, I got to tell you that shook me. Not until later when Beth fell asleep with her head on my shoulder. I was walking through a field of daisies holding Beth’s hand and suddenly I realized this is not me. I got caught up in this romantic dream and it shook me up good. Everything is happening too fast and I need to put the brakes on before this relationship gets out of hand.”

“Okay,” Rocco said slowly, reluctantly.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Sam said. He sipped his beer, but it tasted bitter on his tongue. He was confused and unsure and needed his friend to help ground him before he got lost in that field of daisies.

Rocco’s deep frown cut through him. “Are you saying you want to end it with Beth?”

“No.” That was one thing he was confident about. “Not at all. I’m crazy about her.”

“And it’s scaring you to death.”

Sam laughed because his friend had it in a nutshell. Beth had him scared out of his wits. “This isn’t me. I’m not interested in making a commitment and she’s the kind of woman that is going to want one.”

“Has she said anything along those lines?”

“Not yet.” It was coming, though. As sure as the autumn rains, the day was fast approaching when Beth would want more. A lot more, and no way was Sam ready.

“What are you going to tell her?”

If he knew that he wouldn’t have asked Rocco to stop by for a beer. “Don’t know yet, that’s the problem.” He rubbed his hand down his face. “She told me not long ago I was her first serious relationship.”

“She’s serious and you’re not.”

He was serious, but he was leery of what that would mean. “Beth has barely dated. Her parents have kept close tabs on her nearly her entire life. The men she dated before me were all Mommy-approved. She looks at me like some kind of hero and we both know that’s bogus.”

Rocco snickered as though amused.

“What’s so funny?” Sam demanded.

“You remember when Nichole broke up with me? Her ex threatened to take her to court for custody of Owen because he found me an unsuitable role model.”

“Not like I can forget.” Those days had been bleak ones for his friend, who acted like a wounded animal, and not just any animal but a grizzly bear. No one got close without fear of losing an appendage or being cut wide open by a sharp tongue.

“I was angry and bitter.”

“No kidding, Sherlock.” Sam had been on the receiving end of his friend’s anger more than once.

“But deep down I figured Nichole was right to break it off. I wasn’t near good enough for her and I knew it. Actually, it didn’t come as any big surprise when she wanted to call it quits. It was what I’d been expecting all along.”

“You not good enough for Nichole? That’s bull and you know it.”

“You’re wrong. No way did I deserve that woman loving me. Got history and most of it isn’t good. You know that better than anyone. I did my best to make up for it, being a tax-paying citizen, raising my daughter as best I could. But Nichole and me? She deserved better.”

“She wanted you, though.”

“She did, and I thank God every day for whatever it was that I did to deserve her.” Rocco paused and took a swallow of his beer.

“You saying that’s what is going on with me?”

“Can’t say, Sam. You’re the only one who can answer that.”

He mulled it over for several moments. “It’s more,” he admitted. “Beth has a way of getting to me like no one else, not even Trish.”

“She knows about Trish and the baby.”

“That’s a perfect example.” He gestured with his hands, nearly spilling his beer. “Never told any other woman I was seeing about Trish, but Beth knows. She even knows Lucinda’s birthday, and it didn’t take much for me to spill out all that pain, either. I get around Beth and my emotional filter disappears.”

“And watching Matthew is what drove you over the edge.”

“Basically, yes.” He hated to admit it, but the bottom line was this: “I’m not the marrying kind, Rocco. You know that.”

“Can’t say that I do.”

Sam let out a bark of laughter. “You’re like one of those guys who gives up cigarettes after twenty years of smoking. All at once you become the poster child of not smoking and you’re talking to everyone about giving up their smokes.”

“We talking about cigarettes now?”

“No, we’re talking about falling in love. You love Nichole and all at once you see unicorns and rainbows for everyone else.”

Laughing, Rocco snorted beer out of his nose. “Unicorns and rainbows?”

“Yeah. That sh— ain’t for me.”

“You owe Owen a dollar.”

“Don’t, either. I stopped myself in time. More to the point, you’re so caught up in what you have with Nichole you think it’s for everyone and it’s not.”

“I didn’t set you up with Beth. Nichole did.”

“Okay, fine, but it’s the same thing. You’re both looking at life through rose-colored glasses. You expect everyone else to feel the same way about love as you do.”

“That’s not such a bad thing, is it?”

“It is for me,” Sam said and straightened. Talking to Rocco hadn’t given him any answers; he felt more confused than ever.

“So how are you going to explain all this to Beth?” Rocco asked.

If he knew that he wouldn’t have asked Rocco to meet him. This weighed heavy on his mind. “I’m not sure yet.”

“If I’m hearing you correctly, you want her to date other men.”

“Yes. Makes sense she should. Even if we were to get more serious, which I’m not willing to do at this point, I’d feel better if she had some experience under her belt. She sees me as this shining knight. No way can I continue to live up to her hero worship. She needs to date other men, get a taste of the world, before she ties herself to me.”