Chapter 9

Setting his mug down, Sebastian grimaced. The bitter swill wasn’t helping. He was exhausted and his mood still sour. He’d made a beeline for his office the moment he’d arrived at work, but gauging from the drawn expressions he’d encountered on his way past, it seemed a few of his teammates were feeling the same. Perhaps that much was good. It implied their last mission weighed heavily on some of them as well. Bearing that in mind, he’d sent out a memo requesting to speak to a few of them in private. 
 
Lifting his gaze, he studied Vincent Pellagreeni. His newest Recon and Intelligence agent hadn’t spoken much since sitting, but the staunch look of discomfort stamping his face said it all. The deep lines etched across his forehead were an all too permanent fixture anymore and the past few weeks had aged his classically handsome features well beyond their thirty-seven years. Lowering his head, Vincent dragged a hand over his dark blond hair.
 
“I don’t know, Baas,” he confessed with a lamenting shake of his head. “I just don’t know. I can tell you this much, though. Brad is out. He and Marx have been thick as thieves lately. There’s no way he’d turn his back on where this is going.”
 
It took effort, but he managed to squash his annoyance. “I am well aware of that, Agent Pellagreeni. I suggest you make better use of your time and start telling me things I don’t already know.”
 
The other man’s mouth snapped shut, silencing whatever he’d thought to say next. Then he perked, sitting up straighter. “It’s a gamble, but what about the kid?”
 
“Jackson Lane is a wildcard. His mother used to have romantic ties to Marx.”
 
Vince choked. His face purpled. Thumping his chest, he struggled to swallow the remainder of his coffee. “She what? Jesus!” he exclaimed. “Who would sleep with that man? Do you really think the asshole spawned a kid?”
 
Frowning, Sebastian settled against the back of his chair. “It’s a possibility, but no. If that were the case, Jackson would be the one sitting here. Marx has spent decades building this organization. He would want to hand that legacy down to his son.”
 
“Maybe, but let’s be honest. He’s not exactly the sentimental type. It’s all about power and getting things done with that man. Maybe he doesn’t think the kid is ready yet. Despite the differences you two are having, he knows you’re still the best man for this job.”
 
Sebastian shrugged. That was a possibility as well, but not a likely one. A man’s outlook on life and things in general tended to change once he knew he had a child. Though a skewered bastard, he couldn’t imagine Marx relinquishing the chance to pass on his name or empire down to his own flesh and blood.
 
“None of this matters,” he stated, shifting the focus. “What happened yesterday was unacceptable. That family was innocent. The fact that they were living off the grid in the middle of nowhere made them a convenient experiment in Marx’s playbook. Nothing more. Given how well that worked, he no longer seems interested in finding Patrick James. We already have new orders.”
 
“Sir?”
 
“We’re shutting down a community outside one of the black sites this week. I haven’t briefed the rest of the team yet.”
 
Vince sagged. Dropping his chin to his chest, he cursed beneath his breath.
 
“I wish I had better news but, after yesterday’s debacle, the direction this operation will be taking is clear. I no longer have the luxury of biding my time, Vincent. I already have other agencies breathing down my neck. My family’s lives are at stake, as are those of my men. I need definitive answers about where this team stands and I need them now.”
 
“I understand that, sir, but…”
 
“Do you?” Sebastian asked, cutting him off. “If you truly understood me, you would realize ‘but’ is the last word I want to hear. Get on it, Vincent. I want this done.”
 
He glanced up in surprise as his office door burst open. Pushing the guard away with an annoyed shove from his forearm, Josh charged inside. His steely gaze landed on Vincent, and he froze, his jaw locking.
 
“Get out,” Josh ordered bitterly.
 
Sebastian offered a slight nod of consent when Vincent’s startled hazel gaze swung his way. Keeping silent, he watched his partner drop into the newly vacated seat. Josh stared back at him until the door latched shut behind them.
 
His partner’s eyes were cold and rimmed with bruise like shadows that said he hadn’t slept much, if at all. The rigid stance of his jaw spoke volumes about his demeanor. Though curious, Sebastian kept his face passive as he lifted his gaze to his partner’s and waited.
 
Josh let out a shaky laugh and plowed a hand through his dark hair. “I don’t know where to start with you, Baas,” he said. “Yesterday, you avoided me at all costs. You come in today and don’t say so much as two words to me the entire time. You stay holed up in your office as much as possible. You’re not taking calls. Apparently, the only person who can get any insight into your head or any time with you at all lately is Vince. What the fuck makes him so special?”
 
An amused smirk rode his lips as he leaned back in his chair. Perhaps his partner still cared after all.
 
“Agent Pellagreeni is assisting me on a project, Joshua. That is all.”
 
“Right. And this project,” he said, making air quotes with his fingers, “is so important, that it happened to warrant a promotion on his end? A promotion, Sebastian? This is the same guy that failed to mention he was taking a piss and damn near got us killed. Or have you forgotten about that little incident?”
 
“I remember it quite well, Josh, but it’s his loyalty I am interested in, not his bladder control.”
 
The comment drew a dry snort from his partner. His humor fled as his expression grew more serious. “What about my loyalty, Baas? Where does that fit into the equation?”
 
“You tell me,” Sebastian stated quietly.
 
“How could you even ask that?”
 
He stood and circled around the back of his desk. Refusing to look Josh’s way, he twisted the top of the decorative globe in the corner and watched it spin. Letting his finger glide over the raised ridges of the continents, he spoke without turning.
 
“Partners or not, you of all people should know better than to try and keep things from me. I paid our friend Mr. Vant a visit yesterday morning and, I must admit, I was a bit surprised by the things he had to say.”
 
Pushing out of his slouch, Josh sat up straighter. “You did what? Jesus. What…is he okay?”
 
Sebastian gave a wry smile in response. “He will live. How long did you really think I was going to wait?” He paused, his sharp stare swinging to the man seated across from his desk. “Don’t answer that. The only thing I am interested in hearing right now is why you would keep Marx’s visit a secret from me. You know how I feel. You know I suspected his involvement in Taylor’s accident. You claim to be on my side, but I am seriously starting to question your loyalty and where it lies.”
 
 Josh glanced over his shoulder, his gaze darting worriedly to the door. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. Unmoved by the man’s nervousness, Sebastian kept both voice and expression passive.
 
“I’m not going to shoot you, Josh. Not yet.”
 
The last two words hung between them. It was a chilling reassurance at best. His partner’s eyes drifted shut and his ragged exhale broke the silence as the meaning behind that statement settled over him.
 
“Look, I know how this must seem, Baas, and you’re right. I should have said something. I was just trying to bide my time and protect you. I was going to tell you Marx was there. I just wanted to wait until you cooled down.”
 
“I don’t need your protection. What I need is a partner that I can trust. I used to think I had that. Now, I’m no longer so certain that is the case.”
 
“Are you not listening to me? I was watching out for you! Jesus, Sebastian. I have always had your back! If I’d told you when it first happened, who knows what you would’ve done. I know you love her and all, but Taylor already has you and Marx ramming heads. The last thing anybody needs is for the shit between you two to escalate. Things are fucked up enough as it is.”
 
“Let me put it to you this way. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe. She is my family, and I won’t let you or anyone else stand in my way. Seven years will go down the drain very quickly if you ever decide to cross me or lie to me again. Is that clear?”
 
“Baas, look…”
 
“I’m done talking.”
 
“This is exactly why I didn’t bring it up. Marx took those tapes because he knew you’d focus your energy on finding those men. Pull yourself together and stop throwing accusations around, Sebastian. Please. I know you have had a rough go of things lately. Between Laychee, Dominic, and Taylor’s accident, your head has to be spinning. I get that, but you can’t keep doing this. You have to let things go. Marx is already getting edgy and suspicious. Quit giving him reasons to retaliate against you.”
 
Turning back to the window, he let the familiar burn of anger wind through him. It was something he could cling to and trust. He hadn’t felt this powerless or cornered since he was a child. The newly resurrected emotions weren’t something he enjoyed. In fact, they scared the hell out of him. Staring across the expansive desert landscape, he kept his back turned and a watchful eye on Josh’s reflection as he spoke.
 
“Is it so hard for you to see that he already has, Josh? Whether he pulled the strings or not, Taylor’s accident is still a direct result of his actions. I recognized one of the men on those tapes. He is the same one who’d been following me when we were investigating Patrick James. All of this boils down to Marx’s actions and the direction he is choosing to take. Unless we do something, it is only going to get worse from here.”
 
“We aren’t doing anything. I’m not getting into this with you, Baas. If you really want to keep Taylor safe, back down and do your damn job. Let Marx worry about the rest. It’s that fucking simple.”
 
“Is it?” he asked softly. Turning, he confronted his partner with a questioning tilt of his head. “Where is this leading?”
 
“Who the hell cares? It’s not our place to question this shit and you know that. You do your job and let Marx do his.”
 
“You know he wants Taylor out of the picture, yet you tell me to trust him and believe that he will keep her safe? You’re asking me to let that man worry about my family’s wellbeing after he’s put four of them in the ground?” He shook his head as the corners of his mouth lifted into a sardonic hitch. “Forgive me for seeing the irony in those requests.”
 
Silence hung between them. Sebastian held his breath, hoping the man would offer some sort of response, some explanation he could cling to for reassurance. He needed to know he wasn’t alone in this. Seconds passed and his hope wavered. Squaring his shoulders, he returned to his desk and forced a stiff nod. The movement only accentuated the dull, burning ache that suffused his muscles and made them feel like molten lead. Disappointment settled cold and heavy in his chest. Nothing about this conversation convinced him Josh would take his side. All he had now was more doubt. More reservations, more darkness to cloud his horizon. 
 
“We follow orders, Sebastian. That’s it. It’s cut and dry, buddy. I’m sure the guy knows what he’s doing, and I’m sure he has his reasons.”
 
Easing back into his seat, he returned his attention to his paperwork. “Thank you for the advice, Agent Reevers. If there is nothing else you wish to discuss, I have a briefing to prepare for.”
 
“Sebastian, come on. Don’t be like this. What’s really going on with you?”
 
“This conversation is finished. Shut the door on your way out.”
 
 
 
~*~*~*~
 
 
 
 
 
Taylor set aside the pamphlets she’d been reading. Hearing another voice rise from the backyard, she muted the television and listened. It wasn’t uncommon for the men to shout when they spotted movement in the woods. More often than not, it turned out to be an animal of some sort and no cause for alarm. Still, the memories of what happened when Laychee and his men broke in were still vivid and lingered all too real in her mind. Casting the lush throw blanket aside, she pushed to her feet, watching while a handful of men made their way to the front of the house. Retreating closer to the stairs off the kitchen, she listened as news of an approaching visitor filtered through the house. Her face twisted with a worried frown as Rupert disappeared from view. The list of people the security team knew and accepted was short. Judging from the guards’ reactions, whoever was outside wasn’t one of them.
 
Deciding to play it safe, she eased toward the base of the stairs where she’d be away from the windows and out of view. Her head cocked as she listened, her ears straining for any signs of trouble. Seconds ticked by, then what felt like a small eternity. Much to her relief, there were no raised voices filtering from outside, no pops of gunfire peppering the stillness. Just a long, unending silence. Pulling her cell phone free, she stroked the smooth plastic and waited.
 
Without warning, Rupert’s thick Southern drawl broke through the intercom, nearly startling her out of her skin.
 
“Sorry to bother you, Ma’am, but there’s a woman out here claiming to be your mother. She’s not on the list, but I was wondering if there was a message you would like to give?”
 
Her what?
 
The phone slid from her hands where it clattered against the rustic travertine floor. Numb, she watched the casing spin against the textured stones. A rush of emotions crashed over her in waves. Shock. Disbelief. Hope. All of them grappled, too fleeting to take hold. Then the questions set in and started tearing her apart. 
 
How? How did her mother know where to find her and why? After so much time had passed without so much as a single phone call, why would she visit? Why now? Was this a cruel trick orchestrated by Marx? Was this one of the people Sebastian had warned her about or was this a just a sick twist of fate?
 
Hugging her knees, she clamped her eyes shut. It was too much to process, too much to wonder about or deal with. Rupert’s voice echoed through the house again, this time carrying a strong undercurrent of concern.
 
“Ma’am?”
 
Pulling herself together, Taylor pushed to her feet and made her way over to the intercom. Fighting the unsteady wobble in her legs, she braced a hand against the wall and struggled to find her voice. “I’m here.” Her tongue felt thick and swollen when she tried to wet her lips. She expelled a shaky breath and dragged a hand through her hair. “Could you please ask her what she’s doing here?”
 
Her lungs ached, burning, as she waited.
 
“Taylor? It’s me, honey. It’s your mom.”
 
She wanted to hear it. She tried, but she found no familiarity in the soft voice wafting through the speaker. Too much time had passed.
 
“Baby, I know I haven’t been good about keeping in touch with you and I’m so sorry for that. I really am, but I need to see you. I just want to talk to you and see you with my own eyes. Can you let me in? Can you do that for me?”
 
Do that for her?
 
She blinked back the hurt and astonishment. After everything the woman had and, more importantly, hadn’t done—was she really standing there asking her for a favor? Who did that? She closed her eyes, resisting the urge to go to the window. Some secret part of her, a huge part, still felt the desperate yearning and unfulfilled ache of a child searching for their mother’s love. Seeing the woman would be too much. If she looked now, she wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to run to her and hold her. She would want to search and memorize every inch of her mother’s face, to see what lines and differences time had caused. She didn’t even know if she would recognize the woman staring back at her, and that simple truth was what hurt the most.
 
“Taylor, sweetie, just tell the men to let me in.”
 
She wanted to. God, did she want to—but given the circumstances, it wouldn’t be wise. There was only one decision she could make. 
 
“I wish I could, but I can’t. Even if I asked them to, the guards wouldn’t listen. They have very specific instructions about who can be here when Sebastian isn’t home. If you really want to see me, you’re going to have to come back then.”
 
A long pause followed.
 
“Taylor, these men work for you. I know your words have to carry some weight with them.”
 
She almost laughed. Almost, but the heaviness in her chest made it feel like her heart was breaking. In spite of it all, she couldn’t help but feel a small surge of anger. Over the past few months, those men had stood by her and risked their lives for hers. They’d stood outside and been there for her every single day regardless of rain, snow, or shine. It was far more than the stranger outside the gates could claim.
 
“They are only trying to protect me and follow orders. I’m not about to put them in a position where they could lose their jobs. The head of security will give you my number. The next time you decide I’m worthy enough of your attention please…do us both a favor first and call.”
 
Numbing silence gripped the hall. Tears threatened, but she refused to let them fall. She would stay strong. She would do what Sebastian expected and err on the side of safety. No matter how tempting it was, she wouldn’t cave and, most of all, she would not peer outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman who’d left her so far behind.
 
 
 
~*~*~*~
 
 
 
 
 
The federal agent standing next to him was a little broader and greyer than he had been several years ago, but he still had the same disarming smile. Jack Gill had always been one of the good guys, the man who played it nice while his partner stood by and ripped a person to shreds. Staring out across the lake, Sebastian prayed the same still held true. A cooling breeze swept over the water and he watched the small ripples gain momentum as they undulated across the surface. The sun was setting now, bathing the lake’s glassy surface with vivid strokes of red and gold. It would have been a picture perfect evening if not for the multitude of troubles weighing on his mind.
 
“Thank you for meeting me on such short notice,” he said, keeping his focus trained on the other side of the water.
 
“It’s not a problem, though I admit I was a bit surprised.”
 
“By my message or the delivery?” Sebastian asked.
 
Jack chortled quietly beneath his breath. “Both. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you and I certainly didn’t expect a note to be hand delivered to my office by a barmaid, nonetheless.”
 
“I remembered you were fond of her…and the bar.”
 
The other man laughed again, his head bobbing in an affable nod. Turning some, his countenance grew more serious. “I know your time is valuable, Sebastian. As is mine, so let’s cut to the chase. What do you have?”
 
“Dire problems and not enough time. You are right about my organization and where it is headed. I need you to understand something though, Jack,” he said, turning to face the man. “These aren’t my intentions, nor are they those of most of my men. I’m hard pressed to call any of us innocent, but you need to understand they have no choice. When it comes to Marx and his demands, you either follow through or you are dead.”
 
“Sounds like a rough road to travel, my friend.”
 
“It hasn’t been without rewards.”
 
The older agent’s features settled into one of grim determination as he pondered both statement and situation at hand. “What is it you are asking?”
 
“I need him out of the picture,” Sebastian confessed. “I can’t do this on my own. He knows he’s crossed the line. The only time he leaves headquarters is if we have a mission and he keeps himself heavily guarded at all times. Even if I could take him out, there’s no guarantee my men wouldn’t turn and retaliate against me or my family in return. Simply put, I need your help.”
 
Jack sighed and sloughed a hand across his face, his expression weary. “That’s a tall request, Agent Baas. I would be putting a helluva lot on the line, including resources and innocent lives.”
 
“This isn’t an option, Jack. It’s a necessity,” he stated crisply.
 
“I’ll agree with you on that.” 
 
The man turned forward, facing the water. Reaching into the inside pocket of his blazer, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, tapped one out, and lit it. After expelling a thick plume of smoke past his lips, he extended the pack Sebastian’s way.
 
“No thank you.”
 
The older agent brushed off the dismissal with a shrug, as if to say it was his loss. He pulled a long drag of tobacco into his lungs and rolled the glowing rim of ashes against the rail as he released his breath. The smoke rolled upward where it briefly shrouded him in a dense grey cloud before dissipating with the wind.
 
“What are you proposing?”
 
Sebastian sliced the air, redirecting the thick line of smoke that drifted his way. He cast a scowl in the other man’s direction, not bothering to keep his annoyance veiled. Smirking to himself, Jack shifted his arm.
 
“We’re scouting the grounds for a new operation this week. He will want to be there.”
 
The older gentleman nodded and a long pause stretched between them. “If I do this for you, Sebastian, you are going to have to give me something in return.”
 
“Name it.”
 
“We need Blue. We need to know this isn’t going to fall into the wrong hands again.”
 
He snorted, the reaction settling over him too quick for him to mask his disbelief. “Right. What makes you believe it would be safe with your agency?”
 
“Nothing,” Jack replied, swinging his warm brown gaze up to meet Sebastian’s. “Absolutely nothing. That program is too potent, too dangerous. It has to be destroyed.”
 
Some of the tightness gripping his body fled. He couldn’t agree more. There was only one problem. “We’ve been looking for Patrick James for months,” he admitted. “Marx has found loopholes. He’s been able to key into certain parts of the program, but he hasn’t been able to fully unlock it.”
 
“Patrick James is the only man who has the codes to disable Blue. Either find him or bring those codes to me, Sebastian. Those are the terms of my agreement.”
 
“Fine.”
 
“There is one more thing you need to do.”
 
“What’s that?” he asked, his voice dropping to a muted growl of annoyance. “I’m working with you here, Jack. I’m already putting my ass and my family on the line. Now’s not the time to get greedy.”
 
“I understand, but I need to know how many of your men are on board. If we attempt to take Marx out and fail, it’s going to ignite a full-blown war. Where will you and your team stand then?”
 
He leveled the man with a scathing look and straightened. “Where do you think? Do you want my advice here, Jack? Don’t fail. If you do, if Marx keeps going, it won’t matter how many of my men are on board because you, me, and the other ninety percent of the population will be dead. That is what we are facing. I will hold up my end. You will get what you are asking, but you had damn well better hold up yours.”
 
 
 
~*~*~*~
 
 
 
 
 
Taylor ignored Sebastian’s probing stare. Keeping her head lowered, she pushed the food around her plate, her stomach twisting in knots. She’d struggled with her thoughts for most of the evening, and she still hadn’t conjured up a way to approach her mother’s visit. Especially when he felt so tense and closed off. He didn’t seem angry, there was an electrical undercurrent, a latent sense of danger warning now was not a good time to test limits or push. She turned her attention from her lamb and glanced up as Sebastian set his fork down and leaned back in his chair. His steady gaze still drilled into her.
 
“Is dinner not to your liking?” he asked.
 
“No, it’s fine. It’s not that.”
 
Folding his arms across his chest, he waited. When no answer was forthcoming, his eyebrows crept lower in impatience. “Are you going to elaborate or do I have to keep prodding and waiting for you to explain?”
 
“I’m not trying to be difficult, Sebastian. I’m just trying to sort through stuff and figure out how I feel before I talk to you about it.”
 
His piercing green eyes narrowed even more. “Figure out how you are feeling about what? What aren’t you telling me, Taylor?”
 
She reached for his hand. He tensed, but didn’t pull away. Some of the anger hardening his features ebbed as she stroked her thumb over the powerful ridges of his knuckles.
 
“It’s not about you or us,” she assured him. “I’ve never questioned how I feel about you, Sebby.”
 
He seemed to doubt that. Tiny furrows gathered, creasing the space above the ridge of his nose. Frowning, he kept his attention fixed on her hand and nodded.
 
“My mother stopped by today.”
 
His head snapped up with enough speed and force to give most people whiplash. “What?”
 
“At least, I think it was my mother. She said she was,” Taylor offered, one shoulder lifting in a shrug. “It’s been so long since I talked to her, it was hard to say.”
 
The muscles along his jaw tightened. Seconds passed. One corner of his mouth twisted. Holding her breath, she searched his eyes for any indication of where this would lead. Those mesmerizing sage pools didn’t harbor the anger she’d expected. They were turbulent, unreadable, but their pale color seemed to darken with worry and concern. Lowering his head, Sebastian shielded the rest of his reaction.
 
“I see. How did she know where to find you?”
 
“I don’t know. We didn’t get into that. I’m assuming she asked Bryce or my uncle.”
 
“What did she say to you?” he asked, still focusing on his plate.
 
“Not much. She said she was sorry for leaving and that she wanted to talk to me, but I told her if that was the case, she was going to have to call or come back when you were here.”
 
A heavy silence hung between them. Her heart pounded when Sebastian pushed back from the table. His face stoic, he patted his thigh.
 
“Come here.”
 
Her stomach rolled in a series of nervous flips. Reluctantly, she eased out of her seat and settled back down to perch on the edge of his lap. His grip was strong and unyielding as he wound his arms around her and pulled her against the hard wall of his chest. She closed her eyes bracing herself for the worst as he nuzzled her hair out of the way and his breath fell in a warm cascade against her neck.
 
“I’m proud of you, baby,” he murmured, kissing her skin. “I know that couldn’t have been easy for you to do.”
 
The relief that swept through her was so potent she almost laughed. Almost, but there was nothing funny about this. Her heart still hurt and her mind was still conflicted and torn, leaving her uncertain about what it was she truly felt.
 
“I just kept thinking about all the things you said and how I needed to be careful.”
 
He nodded into her hair. “Thank you. I appreciate that, but I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you are thinking here, Taylor. What’s going through your head?”
 
“I don’t know,” she said, her voice straining as the knot in her throat grew tighter. “I really don’t, Sebby. I wanted so much to see her again, to hold her, to know that she still loves me. The other part is still so…angry. I’m not even a mother yet, but I already know there is nothing in this world that could ever make me leave my child. I could never just walk away. That would kill me. I would spend every minute of every day wondering what they were doing and if they were okay.”
 
“I know,” he said, kissing her lightly behind her ear. Wrapping his arms tighter, he spanned her abdomen with his hands and stroked the soft cotton of her shirt for several seconds before speaking again. “I don’t know what to tell you, Taylor. The timing of things makes me suspicious. It makes me leery that she would suddenly show up like this unannounced and out of the blue. She’s had months, years to get ahold of you.”
 
“I know, Seb.” Frowning, she sighed and twisted the ring circling her finger.
 
“I won’t lie. Given your family’s track record, I can’t help but wonder what your mother wants or what she may be up to. I don’t want to see you hurt by those people again.”
 
“I know, Sebby. It’s just hard. There’s this huge part of me that wonders if this is real. I mean…maybe she really does miss me and wants to try to have a relationship again. Maybe her showing up was the first step in her trying to make things up to me.”
 
“I don’t like this. I don’t trust them, Taylor, but I won’t deny you the chance to find out if that is really what you want to do. Just know that I am your family now too, and I won’t let those people rip your heart out again.”
 
Turning in his embrace, she cupped the side of his face between her hands. “Do you really mean that?”
 
He offered a wan smile. “Which part?”
 
“The first, silly. I know you meant the second.”
 
He hesitated, his reluctance clear, but after a long moment, Sebastian relented. “It’s never been my intention to isolate you, Taylor. Only to protect you. I have serious reservations, but yes. As long as I am here, she is welcome to visit.”
 
Hugging him, she planted a grateful kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”
 
“Don’t thank me yet. I meant what I said. If she causes you any more pain, I will not take kindly to it. Especially not when you are carrying our child.” The ferocity marking his gaze lessened into a heated glow of desire and a devilish smile played on the corner of his lips as he trailed a knuckle down the side of her neck. His fingers closed around her throat in a gentle squeeze. “I’m the only one who gets to bring you pain now. Delicious, sensual pain. You have no idea how much I love it when you beg me for mercy or cry out my name.”
 
She shifted, unable to deny the throb his words elicited. The meaning behind them was clear. Especially when his body swelled beneath her and his hardening erection prodded the back of her leg. Turning in his lap, she straddled him and rode the hard ridge of his zipper. Sebastian’s hips surged up in a forceful strain, arching into her efforts. His eyes locked with hers as he pressed her down harder and ground against the channel between her thighs. Anchoring a heavy fist in her hair, he tugged her head back, forcing her neck to bow. Lips, teeth, and stubble scraped down the slender column of her throat, in fiery claim. His kiss was bruising and hungry. The hard bulge of his zipper rocked against her again as he swept his tongue past her lips. It danced over hers in a slow swirl, but the upward thrusts of his hips became faster and more insistent.
 
The hot flames of need blossomed, growing into a wildfire, and the ache building between her thighs became unbearable. Moaning, Taylor sank her fingers into his thick curls and struggled to hold on, not wanting the delirious torment to end. Wresting his mouth away, Sebastian stared into her eyes, his gaze bewildered and somewhat wild as his breath left him in a ragged pant.
 
“I want to be inside you so bad,” he groaned. 
 
Working a hand between them, he shifted her just enough that he could pull her panties to the side and push a long finger inside her. Her body trembled at the sudden fullness. The noise that escaped him was part triumph, part suffering as he worked the digit deeper. Still holding her gaze, he leaned up to capture her bottom lip between his teeth as he strummed his thumb over her clit. His primal growl rumbled between them, sending the low vibrations through her core.
 
“Mmm. That’s it,” he urged, maintaining his hold on her lip. Releasing it, he bit the side of her neck, his breath falling hot and fast, as he stilled his finger inside her. His thumb still plied her, playing her body like a skilled musician. “Cum for me, baby. Let me feel that hot little body shatter.”
 
The husky rasp of his voice spiraled through her. The slight vibrations threatened to be her final undoing. Squirming, she tried to elude the masterful stroke of his hand.
 
“No, Sebby. Wait. Not like this,” she panted. “I want to feel you inside me.”
 
She cried out as he reached up, seizing a thick fistful of her hair. Desire and danger warred in his eyes as he wrenched her head back.
 
“You’re not the one calling the shots here, darling.”
 
He withdrew his hand, leaving her with nothing but a painful, empty ache between her legs. Snarling, Sebastian pushed to his feet and hauled her up with him. One arm held her steady as the other cleared the table in a forceful sweep. The loud shatter of glass and porcelain clattered in her ears. Taylor gasped as he pushed her down onto the dining room table. Shoving her skirt up over her hips, he seized the thin lace scrap of her panties and tore it away. His eyes locked with hers, boring into her as he pulled her legs open with a forceful wrench.
 
“Mine,” he stated, crouching between her thighs.
 
The lone word hung between them, and the air left her in a wavering cry as his mouth sealed hard and hot against her sex. His tongue battered her, flicking and spearing without mercy. He moaned, voicing his hunger, as he devoured her like a ravenous man at a feast. He plunged into her, the drive of his tongue deep and steady. The world around her seemed to draw in on itself and her body tightened. Release was a straight shot, an inevitable, violent culmination of bliss. She cried out, gripping the table, her body bowing into the eager suction of his mouth as she came. The fingers spanning her hips tightened, sinking in with almost bruising intensity while Sebastian continued to ride, lick, and tease giving her no reprieve.
 
Sagging against the table, Taylor gripped his forearms, holding on for dear life as his name exploded past her lips. Smiling against her, Sebastian milked her one more time, eking out every last shudder before kissing a path down the inside of her thighs.
 
A wicked smirk plied his face by the time he loomed over her. Dazed, she stared up at him her body still trembling with delicious aftershocks. His gloating faded as Sebastian leaned over and kissed her brow.
 
“I love you, Taylor. So much. I have been trying hard to make allowances given your condition, but don’t mistake my leniency for weakness. I am still very much in charge of this relationship, sweetheart,” he whispered, tracing the curve of her cheek. “If you want something, ask. You don’t get to make demands of me.”
 
“I wasn’t trying to. I just wanted to make you feel good, too.”
 
His smile was tight and strained. “I am well aware of that, but stop arguing. A simple please will get you much further than you think.”
 
“Yes, sir.”
 
“That’s my good girl.”
 
She flushed seeing his gaze settle on the glistening juncture between her legs. She could feel the dampness still coating her and the cool chill of the air as it slid across her skin. Embarrassed, she tried to close herself off and shield herself from his view. His eyes snapped to hers, a harsh look of displeasure instantly stamping his face. Wrenching her knees back apart, Sebastian leaned over her, his fingers tightening.
 
“What do you think you are doing?”
 
Biting back a whimper, she shook her head, unable to voice an explanation.
 
“Look at me,” he commanded, his voice sharp. He waited until he had her full attention before speaking. “You know better. Don’t ever do that again. Do you understand me?”
 
His tone was slow and measured, making her heart pound.
 
“Yes, but I was just--”
 
His smile was less than forgiving. “I don’t want to hear it. You are mine, Taylor. I will look at you and touch you whenever I want. Those have always been the terms between us. Don’t expect that to change. If you want me to crack down or punish you, all you have to do is ask. Do not push me to that point, sweetheart. Do I make myself clear?”
 
She swallowed and lowered her eyes. “Yes, sir. Very.”
 
“Good,” he said, cupping her chin. “Bear that in mind.”
 
This time his smile was a bit more genuine and faint traces of his dimples bloomed against his cheeks as he helped her into a sitting position. Still frustrated and aching, she grabbed his hands, catching them between hers. Sebastian paused, his head tipping in silent question. She didn’t understand how she could still feel so shy around him sometimes. He’d explored every single inch of her body several times over. He knew every flaw, every detail, every secret she had and yet something about him still managed to tie her in knots.
 
“I want you,” she whispered, avoiding his curious gaze. “I need more, Sebastian. It’s not enough. I need you inside me.”
 
His expression crumpled, reflecting both pain and empathy as he threaded his fingers through her hair and tugged her head closer to his. Closing his eyes, he pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “You have no idea how much I want to. I would give damn near anything to throw you down right now.”
 
She wound her fingers in the warm folds of his tee-shirt and tugged the soft white cotton in a fit of desperation. “So do it,” she urged, her voice breaking. “Please.”
 
He kissed her softly, his lips lingering in gentle promise. Meeting her eyes, he captured her face between his hands. “I want to, baby. So much, but I don’t trust myself. Let me get some work done. Give me a chance to gather my thoughts and cool down. After that, I’m all yours. ”
 
“Sebastian…”
 
“Shh,” he soothed, laying a finger against her lips. “It’s only an hour or two. You will live.”
 
She pouted, her shoulders dropping with her heavy sigh. There was no point in arguing. The only thing she would accomplish by pushing the matter was provoking his temper. When Sebastian set his mind to something that was it. No amount of begging or pleading would sway his decision. Frowning, she reached down and toyed with the front of his zipper.
 
“At least let me do something for you,” she suggested, tugging him forward by the seam. “I’d be more than happy to take off the edge.”
 
“Mmm, baby, as tempting as that is, I told you I have some things I need to do. I’ll tell you what,” he said, scooping her into his arms and lifting her with ease. “I’m going to take you upstairs and get you settled. Relax a little. Take a nice long bath and do what you need to do. When I’m finished working, I expect to find you naked and waiting in our bed. No excuses. Is that clear?”
 
Smiling, she nodded happily against the side of his neck. “Yes, sir. Your wishes are my command.”
 
Chuckling, he gave her ass a playful swat as he carried her up the stairs. “Good girl. That is exactly the kind of response I like to hear.”
 

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