William was there to meet him off the train.

~Come to think of it,' said Matthew, as the chauffeur drove them - back to Beacon Hill, 'isn't it time you got yourself laid, William? There must be some girls in Boston with absolutely no taste.'

'Why, have you had a girl, MatthewT 'Sure, last winter in New York!

"What was I doing at the time?'

Trobably touching up,on Bertrand Russell? 'You never told me about it.'

'Nothing much to tell. In any case, you seemed more involved in my father's bank than my budding love life. It all happened at a staff party my father gave to celebrate Washington's birthday. Another first for old wooden teeth. Ac.; tually, to put the incident in its proper perspective, I was raped by one of the director's secretaries, a large lady called Cynthia with even larger breasts that wobbled when.,.'

'Did you enjoy it?'

"Yes, but I can't believe for one moment that Cynthia did. She was far too drunk to realise I was there at the time. Still. you have to begin somewhere and she was willing to give the boss's son a helping hand? The vision of Alan Lloyd's prim, middle - aged secretary flashed across Williams mind.

'I don't think my chances of initiation by the chairman~s secretary are very good,' he mused.

'You'd be surprised,' said Matthew knowinglyi Me ones that go around with their legs so firmly together are often the ones who can't wait to get them apart. I now accept most invitations, formal or informal, not that dress matters much on these occasions!

The chauffeur put the car in the garage while the two young men ran up the steps into William's house.

'You've certainly made some changes since I was last here,' said Matthew, admiring the modem cane furniture and new paisley wallpapers. Only the crimson leather chair remained firmly rooted in its usual spot.

'Me place needed brightening up a little.' William offered. 'It was like living in the Stone Age. Besides, I didn~t want to be reminded of ...

Come on, this is no time to hang around discussing interior decoration? Vhen is everybody arTiving for this partyT 'Ball, Matthew, the grandmothers insist on calling the event a baW 'Mere is only one thng that can be described as a ball on dime occasions.'

'Matthew, one director's secretary does not entitle you to consider yourself a national authority on sex education!

'Oh, such jealousy, and from ones dearest friend', Matthew sighed mockingly.

William laughed and looked at his watch. 'ne first guest should arrive in a couple of hours. Time for a shower and to change. Did you remember to bring a dinner jacketT 'Yes, but 'if I didn't I can always wear my pyjarnas. I usually leave one or the other behind, but I've never yet managed to for - get both. In fact, it might start a whole new craze if I an - ived at the ball in my pyjamas.'

'I can't see my grandmothers enjoying the joke,' said William.

The caterers arrived at six o'clock, twenty - three of them in all, and the grandmothers at seven, regal in long black lace that swept along the floor.

William and Matthew joined them in the front room a few minutes before eight.

William was about to remove an inviting red cherry from the top of a magnificent iced cake when he heard Grandmother Kane's voice from behind him.

'Don't touch the food, William, it's not for you? He swung round. 'Then who is it for?' he asked, as he kissed her on the cheek.

'Don't be fresh, William, just because youre over six feet doesn't mean I wouldn't spank you.'

Matthew Lester laughed.

'Grandmother, may I introduce my closest friend, Matthew Lester?'

Grandmother Kane subjected him to a careful appraisal through her pince - nez before venftu - ing: 'How do you do, young man?'

'It's an honour to meet you, Mn, Kane. I believe you knew my grandfather!

'Knew your grandfather? Caleb Longworth Lester? He proposed marriage to me once, over fifty years ago. I tumed him down. I told him he drank too much, and that it would lead him to an early grave. I was right, so don't you drink, either of you; remember, alcohol dulls the bmin.'

'We hardly get much chance with Prohibition,' remarked Matthew innocently, 'that will end soon enough, I'm afraid,' said Grundmother Kane, sniffing.

'President Coolidge is forgetting his upbringing. He would never have become President if that idiot Harding hadn't foolishly died.'

William laughed. 'Really, Grandmother, your memory is getting selective.

You wouldn't hear a word against him during the police strike.'