“Again,” I numbly let out, “what relevance is this?”

Hardman exhaled slowly, looking more and more troubled. “That’s not all.”

I raised my brows, waiting for the rest.

Opening the folder once more, Hardman looked between me and the photo he’d yet to show me.

“And this,” he said in a low voice, “is what she looked like after her attack.”

I shook even long before the photo was placed before me. I already knew what was coming, and I was moving my head in all kinds of directions as the fear of what might be in front of me took over.

Hardman slid it down the table and rested it next to Melinda’s picture.

Teeth chattering, I stared at him for the longest time, trying hard to prolong the inevitable. Then I swallowed and looked down.

My vision blurred and tears fell as I observed Melinda’s new face. One half perfect and untouched, and the other half marred and broken.

Chapter Nineteen

My heart hurts

“You need to breathe,” he kept telling me. “Just breathe, Claire.”

How was I meant to breathe when the reason I’d been breathing in life was nothing but a lie?

The panic attack had me red in the face. My stomach churned and my head felt light. I gripped the table with both my hands, waiting for my vision to steady itself.

“Please tell me this isn’t true,” I begged him as the tears kept falling. “Please.”

The look of remorse on his face was answer enough.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

“We learned a long time ago that he has a thing for scarred women. He’s been known for frequenting whore houses in different countries, always looking for the marked ones. And you and Melinda aren’t the only ones he’s responsible for… marring.”            

I put a hand over my mouth in shock. My world tore itself apart from all around me. I stood up and paced the room, shutting my eyes as the oxygen found a way inside my lungs. I pushed away the thoughts, and I pushed away the emotions. I didn’t want to crumble in front of someone.

“What is it that you want from me?” I demanded hysterically. “You’ve given me the truth, but at what cost?”

“Costigan is a monster,” he told me firmly. “He needs to be put away.”

“What makes you think I’m going to sell him out after all he’s done to me? This just makes me want to run away.”

“He won’t let you get away. In his eyes, you’re his property. He’ll kill you, Miss Landon, just like he killed Melinda.” My eyes widened. “Oh, yeah, don’t look so surprised. He had this piece of fluff for six months before she disappeared without a trace. This is what he does. He likes his woman marked. You’re his trophy, for now. He’ll shower you with false love, make you believe the man he pretends to be around you. Then he’ll tire of you, and it’ll be too late for you when that happens. We want to be there for you now.”

He’d kill me? His property? How the hell had I missed those signs?

But then again, it made a little sense. He’d have known the attack made me vulnerable and depressed. Then he’d showed up out of the blue and dived right into me, taking advantage of a person that was desperate to feel beautiful and loved.

I felt like such a fool.

I swallowed the bile in my throat and rested my back against the wall. I crossed my arms, facing him. “What do you want, Detective? Get to the fucking point already.”

“Costigan holds enormous power. He’s the most sought after banker in the underworld. He possesses unlimited information, enough to bring down a whole network of criminals. It’s crucial we have evidence against him. We need to know when and where he makes his next business transaction.”

“He keeps that part of him locked up tight. I didn’t even know that was happening. There’s no way I’m going to know about his meetings. The fact you haven’t managed to get close enough is alone to tell you how impenetrable he is.”

“Yeah, but you’re with him most of the time. Now we know he uses burner cells. He probably changes his phone once every few days. If you can get a hold of one, we need to know about any text messages, all numbers in his phone, anything at all.”

“What do you mean burner cells?”

“Prepaid phones. The small crap kind you buy for thirty dollars or less from the store. Know what I’m talking about?”

I swallowed a lump. “I know exactly what you’re talking about.” There went that mystery.

“If we can catch him on this next exchange, it’s not only going to ensure the safety of the public, but yours too. And that’s all we’re trying to endeavour to do here, Miss Landon.”

I didn’t say anything for the longest time. I wiped the tears that had escaped and fought to stop them from falling. I didn’t allow the revelation to digest just yet. I needed to be alone first.

“I need to go,” I told him. “Please, this is all too much for me right now.”

He nodded in understanding. “Absolutely. I can imagine how hard this must be for you. If you need time, we’re more than happy to give that to you, but please understand that we need you more than anything right now. Like I said before, we don’t want to work against you, but the people I’m working with right now are desperate enough to do just that. I’m trying to protect you, Miss Landon.”

“I know. I understand. I just… I need to be alone for a little while and I’ll get back to you about this. I just don’t know how strong I can be –”

“He’ll be back in a week, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, well, he’s going to see you, and he can’t know about any of this. For your safety, you need to endure, and I swear to you, Claire, the second you get that information we need, you’ll be free of him.”

Free of him? Free of the man I’d fallen so unbelievably hard for?

But he’s not really that man, is he?

“Okay,” I said vacantly. “I don’t know if I can do what you’re asking, but I’ll think about it, just… give me some time for me to accept all this.”

I wasn’t sure if time ever could.

*****

It was as though I pressed pause on life. From the police station to my way back home, I was frozen. Nothing went through my head. I kept the feelings shut out and my mind empty.