“You can’t pull out!” Marla hissed, taking a step closer to me. Her hard face softened a tad when she saw the tears falling from my eyes. “We’ve already told you he’s got a big deal coming up. We don’t know when, but we’ve got insiders saying it’s coming soon. Now what he’s going to do is see a man, and we need to know the time and place.”

“What goes on there?”

“It’s just a business transaction, but it’s Ben’s men that do the pick-up. Now the problem is we won’t be able to link the pick-up with Costigan, so we need proof of this business deal.”

“And how are you going to get that?”

Marla turned to Hardman and motioned to the car. Hardman opened the door and took out a case. He opened it and showed me a classy men’s watch. I stared dumbfounded at the two.

“What’s that going to do?” I asked.

“It’s got a built in recording device,” Marla answered, pulling the watch out of the case. “You press the two o’clock button two times to start it, and it records for six hours. When you know he’s on his way, you press the button and you give us the time and place so we can intercept the money and arrest Costigan. By then we’ll have the interaction recorded as proof of intent, and the evidence will be the money.”

I stood nervously, playing her words through in my head. “Can I give him the watch on Christmas day?”

“No, we have reason to believe it’s going to happen very soon. You must do it as soon as possible. See him today. Make sure things are good, and keep an ear out because we’re inches to the finish line.”

I rubbed my face and exhaled. “I want to see the footage. When this is all said and done, I want to see it.” I want to see it so I can put this whole mess behind me and never turn back again.

I felt a small hand on my shoulder. She squeezed it gently and said, “Claire, you’re incredibly strong, and you can do this. We’ll show you whatever you want. We’re here for you. Okay?”

I nodded, sniffing back the tears.

They placed the watch case in my car and repeated their instructions a few more times before they got into their car and took off. I dragged myself into mine and sat in the empty parking lot for what seemed like hours.

Their words numbed me.

Footage. They had footage of him talking to…

I slammed my hands against the steering wheel and screamed at the top of my lungs.

Then I grabbed the watch case and stared down at it with fire in my heart.

I was going to ruin him.

*****

Feeling strangely at ease by the time I made it home, I found Emily on the porch, decorating the railing and door with green and red tinsel. Miles was helping out, chatting up a storm while she crept away from him every time he got too close.

She looked relieved when she saw me. “Hey you!” she smiled.

No sign of my previous breakdown, I smiled back. “Hey to you too. You’re doing Mom’s job really well. I wouldn’t have decorated.”

“Well, we’re not all boring like you,” she said.

Miles laughed… a little too hard. “Funny.”

I watched her for a few minutes. “You know, I know I’ve been here for like ten years, but it’s still weird seeing Christmas in summer.”

“That’s the only kind of Christmas I know,” she replied. “Maybe we should see a white Christmas next year or something.”

“Yeah,” I passively said while thinking, if I’m alive by then.

“I’ve always wanted to see a white Christmas,” muttered Miles. We didn’t acknowledge him.

“Your Mom called, by the way,” said Emily. “Says you’ve dropped off the radar and is unimpressed with you.”

I cringed. “Yeah, I’ll call her back now then. See you guys later.”

Once in my room, I called her. After she finished scolding me, we made small chat before I broached her on a subject I’d been meaning to since hell decided to take a shit on my life.

“I want to ask you something,” I said.

“Go on then.”

“If you could go back in time and you knew Dad had lied to you about everything before he got caught, would you have done something to him?”

She paused, taking several seconds to answer. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. Anything.”

“I guess I would have just put him away sooner.”

“Wouldn’t you want him to suffer more?”

She chuckled wryly. “He’s suffering just fine behind bars. The crimes he did were despicable. He hurt a lot of people.”

“And is he hurting enough behind bars, do you think?”

“Well,” she sighed, “it’s not about him hurting, Claire, it’s about who he can’t hurt anymore.”

I nodded, shutting my eyes in understanding. “Yeah. But what about you? Did that kind of revenge make you feel better in the end?”

“No,” she answered honestly. “The happiness revenge offers is fleeting, but your emotions always catch up to you in the end. It broke me. But I had you, and I needed to remember to be strong and independent.”

I reflected on that.

“Claire,” she then said, “why do you ask?”

“No reason,” I lied. “Anyway, how are things going between you and Kevin?”

“Amazing. I’m finally in his good graces after I pulled back on him.”

“That’s very good, Mom.” That made me so happy to hear.

“And how about you and Ben? Is that man still as perfect as when I met him?”

Not wanting there to be a pause big enough to make her question things, I steadfastly replied, “Oh, yeah. Definitely, Mom. He’s… amazing.”

“That’s great. I’m so happy for you, Claire. I had a good feeling about that man. You hold on to him.”

“Yeah.” I’d hold on to him and let go when he was high enough to break.

When I got off the phone with her, I kicked about the house for a few hours. Then I had a quick shower and changed into a white summer dress. I put more make-up on than usual, enough to make my eyes pop out like glowing orbs. Then I carefully put the necklace Ben gifted me around my neck. After I felt and looked good, I pulled out some wrapping paper and messily wrapped the watch case. I placed it in my purse and headed back out.