10 years old

She was supposed to be getting better.

And she had been for a very long time.

Until she started to complain about the pills.

“I don’t want them no more, Ron,” she pleaded to Dad. “Please, I don’t want them no more. They make me cloudy and tired. I can’t think straight, or concentrate. I just want to be able to sing with Carter without forgetting the words because I’m not there mentally. Please. Please.”

That word had become the norm in our household.

Please.

Please.

Please.

I just wanted to give in and make her happy. My chest felt strained every time she begged, and I pleaded with Dad to just give her what she wanted. I was weak because Mom had become my world and I just wanted to see her happy.

It broke Dad to tell her no. He hated that he was hurting her because she pulled away from him. She got angry and restless. She hit herself and cried in her sleep. She’d sit for hours in her chair and stare out the window, her eyes dull, her face empty.

“I don’t want to live anymore,” I heard her say to herself one day.

She was broken, and nothing we ever did was going to fix her.

Thirteen

Leah

I slept deep. His arms were like pillows, and I was in heaven with the level of comfort I was feeling. Until… I heard something.

I thought I was dreaming of it first.

I mean, why else would I hear voices? But as the minutes passed, I became distinctly aware that these voices were not a figment of my dream-state.

I was really hearing them.

Disoriented, I opened my eyes. I was curled in Carter’s arms, and he was still out, his chest moving evenly beneath my head. It took me a while to keep my eyes open for longer than five seconds. Then, sitting up slowly, I rubbed my face and glimpsed around the room, trying to make sense of things.

Where could I have heard voices?

The television was off, there was no radio in the room, and my phone was dead.

I couldn’t hear distinct words, but it was the sound of excitement that had my eyes turning to the windows. Immediately, my heart stopped cold in its tracks at the shadows moving on the other side. In the cracks between the blinds, I saw heads – multiple heads – and I gasped, terrified.

“Carter!” I yelled, the panic in my voice unmistakeable.

He stirred, his hand moving out to grab mine. “Hey, baby –”

“Carter, wake up! There are people outside the room!”

His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. “What?”

I gestured to the window and he turned. The second he saw the shadows and heard the voices, his entire body tensed up. A stark look of anger took over his features, making him dangerously scary.

“Get changed,” he huffed out.

I slipped out of the bed, the sheets wrapped dutifully around me as I hurried into the bathroom, grabbing at my clothes along the way. I felt panicked. How long had they been out there? The second I was inside, I threw my shirt and shorts on. The clothes smelled bad and they were still damp as hell. I felt disgusting, and I looked even worse than I expected. My hair was in every direction, my eyes had dark circles beneath them, and my face was pale. I splashed water on my face just as the bathroom door opened and Carter stepped in, slamming it shut behind us.

“Fucking can’t believe this shit,” he growled out, slipping into just his jeans. It occurred to me then he’d walked naked to the bathroom, and I dreaded to think how many eyes had seen him.

“Did you have a look?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he answered, crossing his arms as he leaned his back against the sink. “People everywhere. Paparazzi and fans, mostly. A couple dozen.”

“A couple dozen? Jesus Christ, Carter!” I ran my hands through my hair, unable to process any of this. “What’s going to happen? They won’t break the door down or anything, will they?”

“No, but we need a car ready to pick us up. We can’t be here any longer or else that crowd is going to get bigger, and then who knows what’ll happen?”

“My phone’s dead.”

“That’s alright. I’ve got mine.” He noticed the look on my face and rested a hand to my shoulder, reassuring me. “Hey, baby, it’s okay. I promise. This will all be over.”

I wasn’t sure about that.

If anything, it had just begun.

He then pulled the phone out of his pocket and dialled a number. I knew it was Rome he was calling. He put the phone to his ear. “Hey, it’s me.”

I sat down on the lid of the toilet, wrapping a weak arm around my stomach as Carter explained the situation. I felt sick. Oh, my God, the thought of cameras in my face almost had me keeling over. This was Carter’s world, and now it had collided into mine. I hoped to God they wouldn’t pry. I didn’t need my life torn to pieces by a bunch of fucking life suckers intent on making a buck through their stalking.

My life was meant to be private. I was meant to be achieving my pathetic little milestones unobtrusively.

What have you done?

I’d taken it too far.

God, I threw caution to the wind by being here with Carter.

What the hell had I been thinking? I should have told him to leave the second I found him standing in the store. Then none of this would have happened. A fucking fool once again, driven by my emotions.

“Don’t start with me,” he vented on the phone. “It’s not a good time to tell me what I should have fucking done, Rome. Just get us out of here.” He rattled off the directions to Rome before he got off the phone. “Alright, he’s on his way.”

“He’s pissed, isn’t he?” I questioned, numbly.

“Who cares what he is?” He kneeled down in front of me, and I looked at his worried face, glimpsing at his torso and at all the marks I’d given him during our time together last night. They were little scratches, most likely from my riding him with my fingers dug into his chest. Awesome, Leah. Did the people out there get a good look at those too?

“Hey,” he said softly, grabbing my hand. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get through this. It’s not that big of a deal. We’ll cut straight through to them and get in the car and that will be the end of it.”

“That will be the end of it?” I scoffed in disbelief at him. “No, it won’t, Carter! How long before we’re in some stupid fucking blog?”