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Page 59
Page 59
“How important?”
“Important enough that I’m considering moving to California. Be fair, Zander, it’s easy for you to suggest it—you’re not the one who’d have to make all the changes.”
He’d figured out in advance that she’d say that, so he had his answers prepared. “You’re right. I’d be asking you to move out . . . but really, Gwen, did you imagine yourself living in that house forever? You might not have planned exactly when you’d leave, but you knew that you’d move out eventually. I’m not asking you to do something you wouldn’t have done at some point anyway. Okay, yeah, my territory isn’t exactly down the road from here, but take the distance out of the way for a minute. Can you envision yourself living in a place that’s more beautiful to you than my territory?”
No, Gwen couldn’t, but . . . “It’s not the only change I’d have to make.”
“You’d have to give up your jobs, I know. But those are jobs that you do for your family, not for you, not because you enjoy them. You can’t honestly tell me that you’d miss either position.”
That was totally true, Gwen conceded to herself.
“And yes, living with me would mean leaving your family, but it’s not like they’d be on the other side of the globe. You could visit them anytime, and they could come visit you. Plenty of people live far away from their relatives. My sister lives a fair distance away from me. It’s not ideal, but it’s not soul-destroying either. I know you feel that they need you, but you can’t sacrifice your own happiness so that they have your company regularly. It’s senseless. They’ll tell you the same thing.” He cupped her face. “Just say yes, Gwen. It’s real easy.”
Easy? Gwen snickered. “You have to see this from my point of view. You’re not just asking me to move in with you. You live on pack territory. You and all your pack mates live virtually on top of each other and are probably constantly in each other’s business. In some ways, it’s the human equivalent of living in a house with most of your relatives. Moving in with you would mean moving in with them, in a sense.”
Zander brushed his nose against hers. “Baby, you’re not fooling anyone if you think I don’t know how much the idea of belonging to a pack appeals to you. The idea of being surrounded by people who will care for, support, accept, and protect you is drugging to you. You’re hesitating right now because you’re scared to reach for it. I don’t like how scared you are of reaching for happiness.”
“I reached for you, didn’t I?” she shot back.
Satisfaction roared through Zander at that. His mouth curved. “Yes, baby, you did. And you have no idea how glad I am of that. But I’m greedy—I want all of you. I want you with me every day and every night.” Neither he nor his wolf would settle for anything less.
“Who says your pack would want me anyway? Your Alpha male didn’t seem too enamored of me.”
“They’ll welcome you because you’re mine. The females like you a lot, especially Shaya. Stop looking for excuses and just agree.” His wolf growled when she backed up a step and bowed her head, eyes to the floor. Zander didn’t like it either, but he understood that she just needed that moment to think, needed that little bit of space. So he held himself still, waiting.
Finally, Gwen raised her gaze to his. “You have to be positive—positive—that this is what you want.”
“I am absofuckinglutely positive.”
She let out a long breath. “I need to speak with Yvonne and Marlon about it first. I’m not saying I won’t act without their approval. I just want to talk with them.”
“You’re stalling.”
“Why does that make you smile?”
He crossed to her and cupped her chin. “Because if you’re stalling, you’re scared. And I’ve come to learn that the only thing that really scares you is happiness. The idea of saying yes to me would make you so happy that you’re afraid to risk it.”
Gwen narrowed her eyes at the smugness in his voice. “I preferred it when you were moody.” He just shrugged.
“You know, I was thinking . . .”
“What?”
She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“What were you going to say?”
She sniffed. “It’s nothing, really.”
Zander ground his teeth. “Tell me.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Will you just fucking tell me,” he clipped. “I can’t stand it when you start a sentence and don’t finish it.”
Bristling at his tone, Gwen lifted a brow. “Yeah? You know what that sounds like? Your problem, not mine.”
Growling, he fisted her shirt, pulled her close, and gave her a hard kiss. “No one gets my blood boiling like you do.”
“Aw, that’s such a nice thing to say.”
He just shook his head.
With nothing to do and nowhere to go, the day was a fairly boring one for Gwen. But having so much unoccupied time gave her the chance to think about everything Zander had said, to realize just how much she wanted to reach for what he was offering, to concede that, yes, she was stalling. However, she really did want to talk to her family about it before making an informed decision.
So, later that evening when the Mercury wolves went on their nightly patrol, she settled at the kitchen table with Yvonne and Marlon. As they drank coffee, Gwen engaged them in a little chitchat, not wanting to just blurt it out. Surprising her, Yvonne mentioned the wolves first.
“I’ve gotten used to having Ally and the boys around,” she said. “It’ll be strange when they’re gone.”
Biting the bullet, Gwen confessed, “Zander wants me to leave with him.”
Yvonne didn’t seem the least bit shocked or even disappointed. “I thought he might.”
“What do you want?” asked Marlon, who also didn’t look surprised.
“There isn’t an easy answer to that question.” Gwen cradled her hot mug in her hands. “Leaving with Zander would mean leaving here.” She sliced her gaze to Yvonne. “You’d only have Marlon to help you with this place.”
Yvonne set down her cup. “I’m actually thinking of selling it.”
Gwen blinked. “You serious?” She hadn’t seen that coming at all.
Yvonne glanced around. “I’ve run this place for a long time. I’ve loved every minute of it. But I’m tired. And not all the memories here are good ones. I’ve been looking at houses online. I saw this gorgeous little house by a lake. There’s room for you and Marlon there if you want it, though the rooms are a lot smaller than the ones here. And it has plenty of land so that I can build a cabin where Donnie can grow old. You’re not mad at me, are you?”
Marlon’s brow creased. “Why would we be mad?”
“This is your home.”
“Dylan asked me to move in with him,” Marlon admitted. “I’m not ready just yet, but one of the reasons I held back was that I didn’t want to leave you.”
Yvonne huffed. “I’m not an invalid.”
“No,” allowed Gwen, “but this place isn’t something you could run on your own.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Yvonne leaned her elbows on the table. “I never intended to spend the rest of my days here. You two need to live your own lives.”