“Fuck, I messed it up,” he says, tossing his napkin onto his plate. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet. He peels off enough cash to cover the bill and a generous tip and leaves it on the table.

“Let me pay for half,” I protest.

“I invited. I pay.” His hand lands at the small of my back again.

“So if I invite you, I get to pay?”

“Nope,” he says. “I’m the guy. I pay.”

Phillip watches us closely as we walk by him toward the door.

We walk quietly toward my office building. Matt doesn’t reach for my hand, and he doesn’t say anything. I turn to him when we get to the steps of my office. “Thank you for lunch,” I say.

“I’m sorry I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin it. I’m just not comfortable talking about it. Not now.”

“I crossed the line. Forgive me. Please?” He’s not touching me, and I can feel the divide between us.

“Nothing to forgive.” I step onto my tiptoes, and he leans down toward me. I kiss his cheek, and he straightens up and smiles at me.

“Thanks,” he says.

“Thank you. I mean it.”

I leave him standing on the steps.

My heart has already sunk all the way down to my toes.

###

I drop heavily into my desk chair. My phone buzzes, and I press the “speaker” button. “Yes?”

“Um…” the receptionist says.

“What is it?” I bark.

But then my office door opens, and Matt steps through.

“He’s on his way to you,” the receptionist says.

“Thanks for the warning,” I mutter.

Matt closes my office door behind him and approaches me. I stand, and he tips my chin up toward his face. “I forgot something,” he says. He’s breathless, and his eyes search mine. “I forgot to tell you that I want your heart more than I want your body,” he says. His eyes are still flitting all over my face. “I f**ked that up, but I’m not done yet. And I know how to say I’m sorry.”

“Matt,” I start.

But he cuts me off. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, and it’s difficult to even walk when I’m around you because my dick gets so hard I could pound nails with it.”

Heat creeps up my cheeks, but he doesn’t stop.

“I shouldn’t have gone there with you yet, but I can’t help it. I’m f**king dying to be inside you. I’m f**king dying to hold you close to me, hopefully when we’re both naked.” He grins. “But even more than that, I want you to love me. I want you to love me a lot, and I went the wrong way about it. Please forgive me.” He finally stops and draws in a deep breath. “Please.”

“Matt,” I say.

“When I saw your boyfriend, all I could think was that I could satisfy you so much more, mainly because I was jealous as hell that he’s been close to you. Maybe I was trying to get him off your mind and put myself there. Or maybe I’m just an idiot. It’s probably the latter. I admit it. I’m an idiot when it comes to you. But that’s okay with me. I hope it’s okay with you, too.”

“Matt,” I say again.

“Forgive me,” he urges. “I won’t ever do it again.”

I bracket his face with my hands. “Would you shut up for a minute?” I say.

He breathes out a sigh. “Okay.”

“I’m not mad. Well, a little annoyed that Seth repeated something to you that he overheard in a private conversation. That’s about me and Seth, though, not about you. I’ll deal with him about that. And no, I’m not mad at you. There’s nothing to forgive.”

He doesn’t say anything. He just looks into my eyes.

“Really, Matt,” I say to assure him.

“You completely shut me down, which I deserved. But I already miss you.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere.” I laugh.

A knock sounds on my office door. I look up to see my boss, who has poked her head in the crack and is holding a sheaf of papers. She looks at Matt and then smiles at me. “You ready to meet?” she asks.

“I’ll be right there,” I say. “Just give me a minute.” She leaves.

“Fuck,” Matt says. “You have to get back to work.”

I nod. “I do.”

He stares at me for a moment, like there’s something on the tip of his tongue that he wants to say.

My boss pops her head back into my office. “How long will you be?” she asks.

“Margie,” I say. I motion toward Matt. “This is Matt.” I look into Matt’s eyes. “My friend.”

Margie smiles and walks to Matt with her hand stuck out. “Nice to meet you,” she says. He shakes hands with her, and she leaves again.

“Friend, huh?” he says with a smirk.

“Yep,” I say.

“I like that,” he tells me.

“Me, too.” I can’t bite back my grin.

“Can I call you later?” he asks.

I nod, and he kisses me really quickly on the cheek. He leaves, and I miss him immediately. I’m still going to kick Seth’s ass, though.

After my meeting, I go back to my office to find a flower delivery on my desk. I open the card and find that it reads, “Are you in love with me yet?”

Not yet. But I’m close. Really close, despite the fact that these feelings scare the shit out of me. My heart is overruling my head.