‘So, I think this means … I’ve always wanted to say this …’ said Issy, taking a deep breath, with Pearl and Caroline’s arms around her—

‘Cupcakes on the house!!’

It was almost worth it, Austin thought, for the admiration on Janet’s face alone. Almost.

‘I’ve seen him off for now,’ he said. ‘Won’t last of course. He’ll just regroup elsewhere and come back stronger than ever. That’s how cockroaches work.’

‘You did a good thing,’ said Janet. She frowned. ‘Give me the paperwork. I’ll try and smooth it with the bosses. And now go and make five hundred really amazing investments to distract their attention.’

‘Not right now,’ said Austin. ‘I am full of adrenalin and manliness. I’m going to get Darny out from school for lunch and we are going to the park to do roaring.’

‘I’ll tell that to your twelve o’clock, shall I?’ said Janet affectionately.

‘Yes please,’ said Austin.

He’d been surprised Issy hadn’t rung him back, but then, well, maybe not really. She was just out of a relationship and had had a narrow escape with her business, and was probably celebrating in the café or figuring things out or … well, she’d made it quite clear she wanted nothing to do with him. So. Well. Never mind. He bought sandwiches and crisps from the corner shop and popped his head into the school to pick up his boy.

Sometimes, he thought, all the aggro, all the yelling, the persuading, the restrictions to his social life and his sex life; the ongoing fug of his plans … sometimes, all of it was vindicated by the delighted face of a ten-year-old boy when he sees his big brother surprising him with lunch in the park. Darny’s smile reached his sticky-out ears.

‘Auusssttttiiinnnn!’

‘Come on then, you mucker. Your big brother, by the way, is a total hero.’

‘Are you a goodie?’

‘Yes.’

‘Mr Tyler, can I have a word?’ said the headteacher as he was leaving.

‘Not quite at the moment,’ said Austin. ‘Soon?’

Kirsty watched him as he left the school. She had decided, when she’d seen him, to take her courage in both hands, ask him out once and for all. But he seemed so edgy and distracted and she reckoned it had better wait until afterwards.

‘After lunch?’ she said.

‘Sure,’ said Austin, noticing that as well as being a teacher, she was actually rather attractive. Maybe it was time to look for a nice woman who liked him, and didn’t go out with dickwads. Maybe, if he was never going to get the woman he really wanted, he could start dating again. One day. Maybe.

‘But now we have some lions to kill. By stabbing them in the heart, then we’ll take out the heart, then we’ll burn the heart on a fire then we’ll eat the—’

‘Out, Darny. Out.’ Kirsty watched him cross the playground.

Austin took off his jacket and loosened his already badly knotted tie in the hot sunshine. It was a glorious day. Clissold Park had ice-cream vans stationed like sentries at the gates and chattering families, sunbathing office workers and happy old people getting some heat in their bones. Darny and Austin followed the stream through the gates. Just as they reached them, however, Austin heard someone calling his name.

‘Austin! Austin!’

He turned round. It was Issy, pink in the face, carrying a large box.

‘You look very red,’ said Austin.

Issy closed her eyes. This was such a stupid idea. And of course she was blushing again. She was probably covered in sweat too. This was really daft. She followed them into the park. Darny had come straight up to her and taken her hand. She squeezed it, needing the reassurance.

‘I like it,’ said Austin. ‘Red suits you.’

He wanted to kick himself for saying something so stupid. They stared at one another for a bit. Nervous, Austin turned his attention to the box. ‘Are those for me? Because you know I can’t take—’

‘Shut up,’ said Issy. ‘I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I can’t … anyway, they’re not for you to eat, they’re for Darny. And they didn’t come out right anyway, they’re a mess, and …’

Without even thinking about it, without even looking at them, Austin took the box in his hands and hurled it with all his might. It flew from his long fingers straight into a copse of nearby trees. The pink of the ribbon streamed against the bright blue of the sky and the green of the trees, but the box did not burst.

‘Darny,’ said Austin, ‘that was a huge box of cakes. Go find it and they’re all yours.’

Darny shot off like a bullet from a gun.

Issy looked after him in consternation. ‘Those were my cakes! With a message on them!’

Austin took her hands suddenly, urgently, feeling that he didn’t have much time.

‘You can make more cakes. But Issy, if you want to send me a message … please, please, just tell me what it is.’

Issy felt the warm, firm pressure of his hands on hers; found herself staring up into his strong, handsome face. And suddenly, suddenly, for almost the first time in her life, she felt the nerves desert her. She felt calm, and at peace. She didn’t worry about what he was thinking, or how she looked, or how she was doing, or what other people thought. She was conscious of nothing other than her absolute and present desire to be held by this man. She took one deep breath and closed her eyes, as Austin tilted her face up towards his, and she gave herself up entirely to his fierce and perfect kiss, in the middle of a busy park, in the middle of a busy day, in the middle of one of the busiest cities in the world.

‘Me sick?’ came an angry-sounding voice from somewhere far away. ‘Why are you sick? Who’s sick?’

Reluctantly, and both more than a little pink and sweaty, Austin and Issy jumped apart. Darny was standing there looking puzzled.

‘That’s what your cakes said.’

He held up the battered and bruised box, with the remnants of five cakes inside, one missing. He’d arranged the letters to spell M-E S-I-K.

‘Is that the message you wanted me to get?’ said Austin.

‘Uh, not quite,’ said Issy, feeling dizzy and light-headed and thinking she was about to faint.

‘OK,’ said Austin, smiling broadly. ‘OK, Darny. We are going to have lunch, then five minutes of lions, and then Issy and I have some business to attend to, OK?’