My throat went dry. No! You’re stronger than this. “What do you want?”

He smirked, and my dry throat morphed into drool. Shit.

“Nothing you’re ready for. Hell, maybe I’m not, either. But I’m not a kid anymore, and I’m not scared of what we could be—what we already are despite the pain we’ve caused each other. Six months together, Rachel. You can fight it all you want, but you and I both know we’re going to end up here time and again, because if there’s one thing our past has proved, it’s that you and I are inevitable, no matter who we hurt—even if it’s each other. I will never forgive myself for walking away from you. I know you don’t believe me, and that’s my fault, too, but I’m going to spend the next six months proving it to you. Because what I want is for you to look at me the way you used to, no matter how impossible that seems.” He pushed off the wall and walked toward where the teacher was gathering the students.

I looked over to the reclining Buddha, whose face was carved in an expression of utter relaxation and Zen. “Spend some time with Landon Rhodes and we’ll see how long you stay at peace,” I muttered and headed for the bus to take us back to the ship.

I’d hoped that coming clean with Landon would give me some kind of closure, like tattooing over an old scar so you didn’t see it anymore.

Instead it felt like I’d just reopened the whole damn wound.

…

“You sure about this?” I asked Leah as I fastened her helmet so she could ride tandem with Wilder. The wind was steady on the ruins of Sigiriya, which was basically a huge plateau that rose out of nowhere. The sun shone perfectly above the lush, forested carpet hundreds of feet beneath us, and it struck me again how lucky I was to be able to get to do something like this. Securing permits to do this near these ruins must have cost Wilder a fortune.

“Absolutely,” Leah answered, her eyes clear. “I might not be up to the real Renegade status, but I’m actually learning to enjoy these things as long as I forget that there’s always this chance of death lurking.”

I laughed. “Yeah, dying would suck.”

She joined in, her smile wide and bright. “Totally. Death can be so pesky.”

I loved seeing her like this. She’d spent the years after her boyfriend’s death like a specter, barely functioning, but now she’d blossomed, and as much as I generally despised Wilder, I was immensely thankful for the unbelievable change in my best friend.

“You okay?” she asked softly, glancing behind her to where the cameras were pointed elsewhere. “Pax told me you and Landon had a showdown yesterday. Why didn’t you tell me?”

I forced a smile. “You have enough going on with your life, and for once you’re happy. I’m not dragging you down.”

“Rachel.” Her shoulders sagged.

“Don’t Rachel me. I’m fine. I was fine before I got here, and I’ll be fine after we leave. I just have to keep my defenses up around him.”

“Pax said Landon’s a mess.”

Speak of the devil… Wilder walked over, cutting our conversation short, and checked Leah’s helmet. What would normally drive me nuts struck me as sweet. He wasn’t taking any chances with her safety, and I respected that.

“I’m glad the weather cleared up,” Leah said as he tugged on her straps.

“Yeah, the rain has been ridiculous here this week. I thought we were going to have to cancel,” he said to her.

The curse of Rachel. I shook my head, trying to clear it. Funny how one little line in a blog could hit me so hard. Those first few months I’d read everything I could about Landon, unable to quit him cold turkey, but I’d never expected to be called out publicly as the reason he was off his game. Back then I’d been glad. It was something that told me I still affected him. Now I just wanted to put those days behind me.

Besides, it wasn’t like I could change the weather. Even my bad luck wasn’t that powerful.

“So, Rachel, do you want to review the hang glider procedure with me?” Wilder asked, all business even though his arm was draped across Leah’s shoulders.

“I would honestly rather not,” I said with a sweet smile. One day I would forgive him. Today was not that day.

He shrugged. “Okay, I’ll send Landon over.”

“Oh, hell no. I’d rather jump off this rock sans glider than spend unnecessary time with him.”

A snort sounded at my back.

“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?” I asked.

Leah bit her lip and nodded.

“Well, that doesn’t change the truth.”

“Yeah, we’ll leave you guys to it,” Wilder said, pulling Leah away as she mouthed, “Sorry!”

I sighed, steeling myself against the inevitable physical reaction of being near Landon. Then I turned to find him smirking at me. “You’d rather jump off? Really?”

“Yup,” I said, no apologies.

“Ouch. Well, let’s get you checked out. When was the last time you did this?” he asked as we walked over to my glider.

“Took a hang glider ride off a remote, giant rock in the middle of Sri Lanka?” I asked, trying to ignore the fact that Landon was taking care of me the same way I’d just gone all melty over Wilder and Leah.

“Nice, smart-ass,” he replied, setting my helmet on my head and latching it under my chin. His fingers caught one of my strands of dyed hair. “I like the purple.”