I awaited her judgment with held breath and watched emotions cross over her face in waves. Surprise, worry, and finally resignation.

“Okay.”

“You’re okay with it?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I can’t remember the last time you let anyone tell you what to do when it came to free riding. And honestly, if it’s going to eat at you that you didn’t complete the summit run, then it’s worth it. This trip is all about taking chances and avoiding the what-ifs. Right?”

Uncaring that we were in the middle of the suite, I kissed her. “Thank you.”

Pax cleared his throat. “Okay, well, now that you’re committed to trying to kill yourself, when would you like to go back?”

“Christmas?” I asked. “That’s the only two-week time frame, right?”

“You won’t be ready for the X Games if you don’t spend Christmas practicing,” Penna answered, leaning forward to look at the calendar. “You’re in decent shape, but when’s the last time you were on a half-pipe?”

“Fair point,” I said.

“What about invitations?” Leah asked quietly.

“Our medals from last year serve as our invitation,” Pax answered. “Plus, it’s us, so as long as we’re there a few days early for qualifying runs, we can pretty much enter whatever event we feel like we’re ready for.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to butter up your sponsors, seeing as you’ve dropped off the face of the earth this year,” Penna added.

“Your sponsors, too,” I reminded her, tensing slightly. Gremlin was still a major sponsor, and Rachel’s dad, who was in charge of that contract, pretty much hated my guts. I was going to have to follow up with Pax about that situation.

She snorted. “Yeah, okay. I can go be a pretty statue, but considering this thing doesn’t come off for another month, I highly doubt I’ll be ready to hit anything.”

“You can still compete in snowmobile,” I said. “Your leg should be good enough by Christmas to practice. That’s two weeks in Aspen, then you’re back on board for three weeks before we head to the Games.”

She shrugged. “Not sure.”

Rachel gently squeezed my thigh, and I heeded her warning. Penna was at some kind of crossroads right now. I just wished that I knew which way she was headed.

“Okay, well, we can talk about that later,” I acquiesced.

“So the question is when we can get you back to Nepal,” Pax said to himself, looking at our schedule.

“If I can’t do it over Christmas break, I’m not sure when we can make it happen.” This was why a ton of the guys on the circuit were shocked we were even trying to finish up college. It was fucking with our careers.

“We need the footage for the documentary and, honestly, we’re kind of already on this side of the world. I don’t know when you’ll get the time to come back between classes,” Bobby added.

I rubbed the skin between my eyes. When did this all get so fucking complicated? Everything was precisely timed with our ports, our finals, our classes, and with one moment, I’d fucked everything up.

“There’s one week here.” Bobby pointed to the January calendar. “It’s the Great Wall stunt, but if we split the crew, you could go back to Nepal. You’d just have to leave early, and you’d risk missing the ship on the return.”

“What do you think?” I asked Rachel.

She sighed, looking at the calendar. “I think you’re taking a huge risk without really acclimatizing, and you can run into the same exact issue. You get one chance, and that’s it.”

“She’s right,” Pax said. “I don’t mind financing another expedition. Especially since it would be badass to get into the documentary, really kind of tie it together with the struggle, but one thing goes wrong and you’re out of time…again.”

“But what if I don’t have those issues? Isn’t it worth the risk?”

The table quieted.

“If you think it is,” Rachel answered.

“We’ll back you,” Paxton agreed.

“Will you come with me?” I asked Rachel. “I know it’s a lot to ask.”

She took a deep breath. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course. There’s no pressure.” I wanted her with me, but after the hell I’d put her through last time, I couldn’t blame her if she wanted to say no. My feelings on the subject probably would have been way different if I’d had to dig her out of an avalanche.

“Okay, then we’ll start planning that and splitting the crew,” Bobby said. “Do we have the X Games handled?”

Pax cringed. “Nick is in talks with our sponsors right now. I have a meeting with the dean tomorrow. We’ll see what he says. We’d have to miss at least a week, if not ten days. Between travel, qualifying, and the actual games, we’ll miss all of the Japan stop.”

“Has anyone thought about skipping this year?” Leah asked. “It’s not like you guys are sitting around doing nothing.”

Pax shook his head. “We’ll lose our sponsors and our titles.”

Her nose crinkled.

“Say it,” Pax ordered.

“Are you even in shape for that? I mean, not that you’re not in shape, but that level of shape?” She covered her face with her hands.

Pax laughed and pulled her hands away to sneak a kiss. “Yeah, we’re fine. We have all of Christmas in Aspen, and that’s only a few weeks before.”