I inched my face closer, her heavy breaths blowing over my lips. “Lie down,” I growled as I pulled backward, bringing her head to the pillow. I let my boxer briefs slide back over me as I reached for the button of her jeans. I glared at her, daring her to tell me to stop. It was the grown-up version of the game we’d played all those years ago.

Her fingers slid over her stomach, covering the button in a feigned attempt to stop me. I knocked her hand away as I slid the zipper down, revealing pale yellow cotton panties. “You’ll have to do better than that.” I traced the edge of her underwear with my finger, pulling down the fabric slightly.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” She grabbed my wrist, and I smirked as I gripped either side of her jeans at the hips. I yanked hard, nearly pulling them completely down and exposing her. She struggled to push my hands away, raising her hips slightly, which only aided me in undressing her. I pressed my lips gently to the smooth exposed flesh just above her mound, taking my time in unwrapping the gift she was giving me. She whimpered, and her hips stilled as she ran her fingers through my hair, her eyes closed.

“I want to taste you.” I slowly pulled the jeans down farther. Her hands covered her pussy, still concealed by her underwear. I glanced up her body, breathing in the scent of her secret lust as I pulled her hands away and softly pressed my lips against the thin fabric. Trust was important in the dangerous game we were playing. It normally took weeks or months, but Annie and I’d had a lifetime. “Shh,” I breathed as her body shuddered, the air of my words cooling the sensitive wet flesh beneath the cotton. I pressed my lips against her again, and she writhed beneath me.

I grabbed her pants and pulled them down forcefully, tossing them on the floor. She brought her legs together to hide herself. I placed my palm on her belly and slid my hand up between her breasts, revealing in the feel of her rapid heartbeat. “Take your shirt off.” The tips of my fingers slid under the fabric still bunched under her neck. I slid farther up and over her collarbone, gripping her throat slightly. “I told you to do something.” She lifted her hands, never breaking eye contact as she pulled it over her head, her blond curls splayed out against her pillow with her lips parted. “Good girl.”

Her breath hitched, and I made a mental note that she enjoyed being praised. Amanda had a taste for being called vile names and told how worthless she was. I guess coming from her side of the tracks it was an adventure to lie down with evil. Even if Annie blocked out most of the past, it was the positive that she craved, forever seeking out reassurance that she was a good person. It was a sick twist of the human psyche that I’d learned to exploit so well.

I slid off the bed and pushed down my jeans and boxer briefs before climbing over her, nudging her knees apart and settling between them. My painfully hardened cock pressed against her damp underwear.

“Do you remember that night?” I asked, my voice low and gravelly with lust. I rocked my hips against her, and she moaned, her eyes falling closed as her tongue ran out to moisten her lips.

“Just like this,” she whispered, and I lowered my mouth next to her ear.

“I was so worried about you,” I confessed as I rocked my hips again, pressing my length against her clit. “But I could feel how damp your panties were. Just like they are now.”

She inhaled a sharp breath, and I couldn’t help but smile as her eyelids fluttered but didn’t open, much like that night together. “And I knew you were enjoying it as much as I was. It was the first time anyone had wanted me.”

Her hips pushed against mine, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. This night had been a long time coming, and eventually the past would catch up to us. It was only a matter of time. I rocked my hips, pressing hard against her as I groaned. “I wanted you so badly.” My voice trailed off as we built a steady rhythm. “I hated myself for wanting to rip your panties off you.”

Her face turned so our cheeks were pressed together. “I never hated you.”

I pushed myself up on my elbow and slid my hand down the silky skin of her stomach, running the pads of my fingers over the edge of her panties. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth as my fingertips dipped below the fabric, sliding over her soft flesh with featherlight strokes. “I know you don’t hate me, little one.” I moved in small circles over her clit before slipping between her folds and pausing at her entrance. “You love me,” I rasped as I pressed inside her, rewarded by a soft moan as her lip was released from her teeth. She moved herself against my hand, and I watched in awe as this beautiful creature writhed with pleasure from my touch. I slid a second finger inside her, and she was incredibly tight. I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to take her, but it wouldn’t stop me from trying. I needed her more than I needed my next breath.

I pushed farther inside her, twisting my fingers and bending them slightly to hit all the right spots as my thumb ran over her clit.

“And you?” she panted, and I couldn’t help but smile wryly.

“What about me?”

Her eyes fluttered open, and her gaze seemed to reach the depths of my blackened soul. “I mean…do you love me?”

I was used to operating with no conscience, and lack of emotion had kept me from second-guessing decisions that a weaker man would have to contemplate, but this was new for me. For once I was consumed with something other than emptiness or anger, and it scared the hell out of me. When the realization hit me, I was filled with something else—fear. Fear for her, because I could never love anyone more.

“How could you not know?” I rested my forehead against hers. Her body began to buck, but I didn’t want her to come without me inside her. My hand stilled as I inhaled deeply, drowning in the honey scent of her flesh.

All things in my life began and ended with Annabel. My world had always centered on her, and now it had manifested itself into an obsession that was finally going to be my reality. It was overwhelming, all consuming.

I felt euphoric; a drug-free, lust-induced haze washed over me. My fingers looped around the side of her panties, twisting before yanking hard. The fabric bit into her flesh before giving way and tearing, leaving nothing between us.

I pressed the head of my cock against her, and her legs fell open wider. I ran my thumb over her eyebrow, and the nervous look on her face relaxed.

“I want to hear you say it, little one. Tell me you love me.” I trailed kisses over her jaw, and she tilted her head back, giving me access to her neck.

“I love you, Colin.”

I pressed harder, the head of my cock slipping inside her. She cried out, and I knew I would have to force myself to take it slow, but like anything that had to do with Annie, it was hard for me not to lose control. Her whole body tensed beneath me, and I struggled to calm my breathing as my hand slid around the base of her throat.

“You lied to me,” I growled, fighting the urge to push all the way inside her.

“I didn’t want you to know.” The corners of her lips tugged down as she struggled to not fall apart beneath me. My fingers flexed against her flesh, her pulse vibrating underneath. “I thought you would think I was too naïve. It’s embarrassing.”

“Knowing that I’m the only one who will ever be inside you is the best gift you could have ever given me.” My teeth grazed her jaw. “But it’s going to hurt.”

Her body jerked as she held back a sob. “I’m scared.” Shame washed over me as my cock twitched in response to her fear.

“Shh…” I ran my finger over her lips to quiet her as I pressed my mouth against a salty tear that slid over the apple of her cheek. I pushed harder, but I stopped as she tensed. My mouth found hers and she slowly relaxed, getting lost in the moment. I pulled back, pushing my head inside her again, repeating the process until her hips began to rock with mine. I groaned as I pushed farther, my hand grabbing the underside of her thigh and squeezing. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I thrust harder, and she cried out. I growled in response, hating myself for deriving pleasure from her pain. Her arms looped around my neck, and she held my body flush against her own.

“It’s OK, Colin. I can take it.” Her whisper welcoming the darker side of me was all it took for me to lose all self-control.

“Fuck,” I growled as I filled her. She gasped, her grip on me tightening as I held still in order for her body to adjust to mine. I was panting, desperate to come inside her and claim her as mine. That moment was the first time it crossed my mind that we hadn’t used any protection. I’d never had to worry before. The women I had lain with were always on birth control. “Fuck,” I mumbled, not sure I would be able to stop now.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice small and scared as if she had somehow upset me.

“We didn’t use anything,” I panted. “Protection.”

“I…I take the pill. I have since I was sixteen.”

I raised my head to look her in the eye, unable to keep the accusation from my tone. “Why?”

“For…you know…my period. To regulate it.” Her cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of rose as embarrassment washed over her.

“Thank fucking God.” I began to move slowly inside her, her thighs squeezing against my hips. As I felt her muscles relax, I began to move faster and push deeper. My fingers tangled in her hair, and my hand curled into a fist. “Fuck,” I moaned as I began to take her the way I had envisioned since that night together at the commune.

I was hard and rough, uninhibited passion. The silver cross necklace I had given her pressed between our bodies, digging into the flesh of my chest. I pressed my lips to hers and fucked her mouth as I did her body. Her pussy tightened and released, milking my cock as her entire body began to vibrate below me.

“I love you. I love you so much,” I repeated the words over and over as she let go, and we both tumbled over the edge of ecstasy together, into the dark abyss of our unknown future.

She winced as I slowly withdrew from her, blood and come smeared over her inner thighs. I loved the idea of her full of my seed, her body secretly carrying around a part of me.

“Don’t move.” I pushed from the bed and made my way into her bathroom. I grabbed a brown washcloth from under the sink and turned on the water, letting it run a few seconds until it grew warm. I dumped some honey-scented body wash from her shower onto the rag and ran it under the water until it lathered up over my fingers.

I quickly ran it over my cock and cleaned the traces of her ascent into womanhood from my body. I tossed it aside and repeated the process so I would be able to clean her as well.

As I walked back to the bed in the dark, the sight of her naked body in the moonlight caused me to begin to harden again. I knew it would be a while before she was able to handle anything more, but it didn’t stop my mind from wandering.

I slid between her legs and slowly pushed them apart. I ran the washrag against her inner thighs, and she looked down at me, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

“You are so beautiful,” I whispered into the night as I climbed up the bed. “Sit up,” I commanded. She pushed herself up as she watched me with uncertainty, and I knew she had to be sore. I slid behind her, my legs on either side of her body as I lay back against the headboard. I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back against my chest. “Do you hurt?”

She shook her head but didn’t say anything. I slid the warm washcloth down her stomach and between her legs. Her back bowed as the cloth brushed against her sensitive clit. I squeezed the rag, and a few drops of water ran down my fingers and over her as I continued to slowly clean her, my hand moving in circles. Her hips began to push against my hand, and my cock grew harder against her ass.

“Mmm…” I closed my eyes as her hips continued to rotate against me. “Get some rest. You’ll be sore tomorrow.”