“I hate the Collar. Kim, I hate it so much. It hurts us when we so much as think about the way we used to be. One surge of adrenaline and it’s giving us pain. You can’t know what that’s like. Always living in fear of the pain.”

“You’re right. I don’t know.”

“Being free of it…” Liam slid his fingers and thumb around the mark where the Collar had been, his wild smile emerging. “It’s a joyous thing, love. I can do anything I want, and no one can stop me.”

“Not even me?”

“No. That’s the trouble.”

“Sean said you weren’t like this before—before you all took the Collar, I mean.”

“Not this out of control. Not with twenty years of need falling on me at once. But it was like this too. We were strong and free, and those few who knew about us were in awe of us. Even the Fae acknowledged our strength, that we no longer served their whims. That’s what rankles most—the Fae helped to bind us. They’ve always wanted to bind us.” Anger danced in his eyes, lines pulling the sides of his mouth. “We hate them for it.”

“What about humans?” Kim made herself ask.

“Human beings are weak, short-lived. No threat.” Liam’s eyes eased back to the blue she’d fallen in love with. “The one I’m lying on now is so beautiful. And I love her.”

“I’ll help you escape, Liam. I want you to be free. Don’t find the Collar. Please.”

Liam closed his eyes again, tight. He shuddered, lips shaking, as though wave after wave of panic ripped through him.

After a long time, he opened his eyes again, and something in them had been defeated. “No, love. They need me here. And I never, ever want to wake up in the morning knowing that I hurt you.”

Kim touched his face. The anguish in his voice a moment ago when he’d said he hated the Collar had been real. He hadn’t mentioned his loathing before this, but Shifters were strong and could resign themselves to pain, and he’d probably seen no use in voicing his rage to Kim. Having the Collar off, feeling the pain evaporate for the first time in twenty years, must be incredible for him. She wasn’t sure how he could even contemplate putting it back on.

“No one would blame you if you went,” she said. “Dylan would take over again, like before, and Sean would still be Guardian. They’ll look after Connor and everyone else. You know that.”

“I’d blame me.”

“But free, you could start working on how to liberate the rest of your kind.”

Liam kissed her forehead. “No, love. Free I’d be thinking of only myself and how good it felt to be away from all this. I’d start despising them for being weak, find myself a pride of ferals and try to take over. A wonderful Shifter-man I’d be.”

“You can’t know that. Like you said, all these urges are built up. Maybe in time—”

“And maybe not.” His voice went hard, and he rolled off Kim and to his feet. “We find the Collar.”

Kim remained on the floor, staring up at his hard body. He was beautiful—firm muscle, broad shoulders, chest dusted with dark hair, now damp with sweat. His skin was covered with scratches from the fight, but they were healing, even the deepest ones only angry red lines. The worst wound was around his neck, where his Collar had been.

As he forced himself to turn from Kim to look for the Collar, Kim knew that Fergus had never understood just how strong Liam was. He’d made the choice to give up his freedom to stay with his family and help them in their captivity. Fergus had sacrificed others in his cause; Liam was sacrificing himself, just as he had when he’d stepped forward and taken the whipping to spare Connor pain.

Kim got reluctantly to her feet, trying to brush off the worst of the dirt she’d rolled in. Liam was already looking, quick gaze darting everywhere as he skirted the dust in the corner that had been Fergus. He didn’t show much remorse about killing his clan leader, but Fergus had been nuts. Also, she knew the man wouldn’t have gone meekly home, promising to stop his experiments: I’m sorry, Liam, you’re right. I’ve been a bad Shifter.

Kim thought about Fergus’s mates, and the offspring Fergus had mentioned. Would they mourn him? Would they try to exact revenge on Liam or move on with their lives? What would Liam, as clan leader, do to them? Would all of those Shifters down in San Antonio accept him without rancor? This would be interesting to watch—interesting being a euphemism for scary.

Behind her, Liam said, “Here it is.”

She swung back to find Liam holding the thin silver and black chain as if it was a poisonous snake. Kim chewed her lip as he gripped the ends, one plain, one with the Celtic knot, in his white-knuckled fists.

“Will it work?” she asked. “It’s not broken?”

“Once it’s on me again, it should. Justin said that Brian’s experiments let him figure out how to unfuse the Collars from us, not disable the chips inside. He hadn’t got that far, yet.” Liam took a long breath. “This will hurt me, Kim. You should go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Maybe I just don’t want you seeing me weak and pathetic, love. A Shifter’s got his pride.”

“Liam, I’ve seen you strong, crazed, violent, angry, happy, sad, and far gone in passion. I love every single one of those, especially the last one. Did you know your pupils widen when you come? It’s like you want to take all of me in, forever. It’s very sexy.”