Author: J.D. Tyler

She wrinkled her nose. "Good thing, or you'd never even make it to first base with me, buddy. I don't do homicidal lovers."

"Duly noted." He couldn't resist the opening. "What kinds of lovers have you had in the past?"

"None who were violent! I did date one guy who was really pushy. Wanted me to do as he said, monitored how much time I spent with friends as opposed to him, had to comment on everything I bought for myself. Always found something wrong with what I cooked for dinner. Stuff like that."

Jax snorted. "I'll bet he didn't last long."

"Just about a New York minute. Honestly, I haven't had too many boyfriends, or even second dates for that matter." She had no idea how happy that made him as she studied him curiously. "What about you? I can't imagine you've had too many dry spells in the female department."

"You'd be surprised," he murmured. "I don't let people in easily, and the one time I did before you ended in disaster."

There. Now he was committed. If she hated him afterward, so be it.

"What happened?"

"The ambush I told you about, the one six months ago?" She nodded and somehow he found the courage to reveal the truth. "It was my fault. I'd fallen head over heels for Beryl, or thought I had. Looking back I can see that I was blinded by lust, pretty much thinking only with my cock."

Kira let the comment pass, expression serious, and guessed, "She betrayed you."

"In the worst way possible." God, he didn't want to talk about this. "We'd been seeing each other a few weeks when she revealed that she knew what I was. She had some special abilities of her own, which is how she claimed to have figured me out. I didn't question it. I was just relieved not to have to lie about myself."

"Had she known about you all along, before you met?"

"Yes. I didn't know she was a plant, and that her job was specifically to ensnare me, gain my trust."

"What was her ability? Who was she working for?"

"She was a witch practicing the dark arts. As to her contact, we've never been able to find out who was behind the ambush. All we know is Beryl's goal was to integrate herself here, gaining our trust and learning our secrets, like the fact that silver can kill us. She and her contact planted false information about a family being held by vampires, so we scheduled a rescue op. I trusted her. That night, the ugly bastard down in Block T and his murderous comrades were waiting for us. Taking us out was like shooting fish in a barrel," he said hoarsely.

"How did she know about the existence of Alpha Pack in the first place?"

"That's a question we've all asked. If one of us had been a traitor, then Beryl wouldn't have needed to pass along information and set us up. So that theory is out."

"But one of you might have let it slip by accident," she speculated.

"Yeah, that's possible."

"I'm so sorry." Laying a hand over his, she stared intently into his eyes. "Is there any chance at all she wasn't involved? Do you know for sure she's the one who sold you guys out?"

"Oh, there's no question. She was there, in the aftermath, laughing as five of us lay dead-Terry, Micah, Jonas, Ari, and Nix. I can't describe the horror of knowing what I'd done to my team." The agony was almost unbearable. "The building was on fire and I used the last of my strength to throw her into the flames. I can still hear her screaming."

His lover swallowed hard. "She's dead?"

"Yeah."

"I'd say good, except it might have been useful to keep her alive and force her to give up who was calling the shots."

"Another idiot move," he admitted. "I should've used my gift as a Timebender to go back and warn my team of the ambush. A few minutes were all we needed. But I was in shock, running on nothing but rage, and I reacted, using up what little strength I had left. Now we may never know."

Unless they try again.

Shoving away the overwhelming guilt, he looked down at his lap, where Chup had curled up and fallen asleep. Sucking his thumb. There was proof that sometimes all a seemingly vicious creature needed was a little TLC. Too bad that wasn't always the solution.

"So you can really bend time, go back and live something over again?"

"Yes."

"Wow." She thought about that. "Can you go back to when you were ten and beat up the school bully who kept tormenting you? Stuff like that?"

He laughed at the idea. "Wouldn't that be nice? But no, I can't jump around. I'm not a human time machine. I can bend it enough to gain back the previous few minutes, and that's all."

"Huh. Well, that's still pretty cool. Sort of like that movie where the prince guy uses his knife filled with magic sand to go back in time. Only you don't need anything but yourself."

"Right." But the one instance where it would've done the most good, when he could've saved his team, he'd screwed up his chance. "I can't use the gift, though, except in the direst of circumstances."

"Why not?"

"For the same reason Nick rarely tells anyone what he sees happening in the future. Because every little thing a person does to interfere with that future affects those around us, and those we haven't even met, in ways we can't possibly know until it's too late."

"That makes sense," she said. "It just seems like a waste."

"It's not a waste that one time you really need it." Except if you fuck up and don't use it.

"True."

They fell silent for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company. Or at least he enjoyed hers as much as he could, knowing he didn't deserve to be happy.

"Why don't we hand off Chup to Sariel to babysit while we're gone, instead of Mac?" Kira suggested. "I just realized Mac might be with us tonight."

"Good idea. Taking care of the little guy will give Sariel something positive to do."

"It's settled, then. Now the question is what to do with him while we're all eating dinner."

"The cook would throw a fit if she saw a gremlin in the dining room." The idea made him grin mischievously. "We'll just have to promise to teach him not to beg at the table."

"If she spots him, you're on your own," she said with a wink. "I had nothing to do with your plan."

"Traitor."

"Survivalist."

With a quiet laugh, he gathered the furball and stood, then offered her a hand up. "Come on, let's go see who we can rile."

"As long as it's not Chup, we're good."

"Agreed."

As they walked inside hand in hand, Jax felt lighter than he had in months. He still believed the massacre was partly his fault, but it had been nice to trust her with the truth as he saw it.

Now he just had to fool her and his team long enough to make it through tonight. They absolutely could not find out that he was in so much pain that he could barely keep moving. The reason was simple.

He wanted Kira more than he wanted his next breath.

But he'd die before forcing her into a decision she wasn't ready to make.

Jaxon gripped the leather armrest as the van neared their destination. His throat burned and his skin was hot. Tight and dry. His muscles cramped, as though they were being slowly twisted and torn apart. But that wasn't the worst.

No, the worst was sitting near Kira, her sweet scent driving him mad, and not being able to touch her. Because if he did, he'd finally lose control. Throw her to the floor of the van and give everyone a lesson in mating they'd rather not witness. His cock was hard enough to hit a home run and he was too damned miserable to be embarrassed about it, though he vaguely hoped his cammos were loose enough to hide the problem.

Hammer guided the van onto a dark side street a block over from the NewLife building, and Nick, sitting next to him in the front, gestured to a good spot to park both vehicles. Also riding in the van with them were Kalen and Mac, who'd been eyeing each other the entire first leg of the road trip. The SUV carrying Ryon, Aric, Zan, and Melina pulled up behind them.

Hopefully they wouldn't need the docs, but better to be prepared.

"Um, guys," Kira began, glancing between him and Nick. "This isn't going to be a popular opinion, but I need to go in with you."

"No fucking way," Jax snapped. "You're not getting within a hundred yards of that place. Are you forgetting how you barely escaped a few days ago?"

"I remember very well," she replied evenly. "But I'll have the team with me, not to mention A.J., and-"

"Your friend is putting himself at plenty of risk without adding you to the mix."

"But he doesn't know the labs like I do," she argued. "I think we need more samples, as well as photos of every document we can lay our hands on, and I'm the only one of us who knows exactly where to find them."

Hammer shut off the ignition and Jax seethed while they waited in silence for Nick's decision. Finally he nodded.

"Kira has a good point. We're going to need the items she mentioned, and I don't foresee any immediate danger in allowing her to help lead us through the building."

"I still don't like it."

In the end, she and Nick were right, so he could snarl all he wanted and it wouldn't make a difference. He chose to save his energy. He had a suspicion he'd need it.

The docs remained with the vehicles, but everyone else climbed out and got a few quick reminders from their leader.

"Remember, the goal here is to search, locate any possible evidence that NewLife is involved in experimentation on humans and shifters, and then get the hell out. A. J. Stone will be coming with us when we're done here. He has no other option-if he stays, he's a dead man."

A ripple of surprise went through the group, but Nick's men trusted his judgment. They were, however, visibly curious. But the questions would have to wait.

"Ready?" Everyone was. "Let's get this done and get home."

The street was dimly lit, and the adjoining alley almost completely dark, which helped hide their progress as they approached the edge of NewLife's property. The problem getting in and out would be crossing the vast parking lot, which was mostly empty this time of night. They'd be completely exposed both entering and leaving.

Targets for the ramped-up security Orson Chappell had no doubt ordered in the wake of Kira's theft and escape.

Nick ordered Kalen and Hammer to remain at the mouth of the alley and keep watch over the back of the building. Cover them if necessary. The rest of them would enter through the big bay area of the garage, where A.J. would be waiting.

If nothing had happened to him.

As they left the alley and made their way to the high chain-link fence topped with razor wire that surrounded the parking lot, Jax had to force himself to concentrate on the op. Not on the curve of Kira's delectable little rear hugged by her camouflage pants. The way she moved, lithe and graceful. How cute she looked with a black knit cap pulled down on her head to hide her shiny blond hair. Like some sort of tiny ninja assassin among a bunch of Neanderthals.

Breathe, Jaxon, old boy. Patience, and she'll be yours.

Maybe.

Wielding a pair of bolt cutters, Zan opened a hole in the fence wide enough to allow them to squeeze through. Leaving the pair of cutters on the ground near the fence, he came through last and pulled the snipped ends of the wires together so the gap wouldn't be so noticeable. They'd need this route when they left.

They crossed the parking lot without being spotted and entered the bay through the side door A.J. had told Kira to use. Nick went inside first, then motioned for the others to follow. The garage was a cavernous space, dimly lit by a couple of wall fixtures. One was situated next to a service elevator they'd take into the basement.